


Lost and Found

by battleshidge (Amiria_Raven)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Family, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Klance on the side, Mutual Pining, Pining, SHIDGE, Separation, Slow Burn, shiropidge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:12:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 75,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7491141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amiria_Raven/pseuds/battleshidge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dashed line from their current location to the box was labeled 00:02:47:29:12. Two hours, forty-seven minutes, twenty-nine seconds, twelve milliseconds.</p><p>In just under three hours, they would be headed away from the last known location of Sam and Matt Holt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!
> 
> This is my first foray into V:LD fanfiction, but I'm super excited. This fic is roughly outlined, though I have a few rough patches I need to work through, and there will be some fun twists. I hope you'll enjoy them! It's going to be fluff and angst and it'll be grand.
> 
> Happy reading, and thanks for choosing Lost and Found today! :)
> 
> NOTE: I use she/her pronouns for Pidge.
> 
> SEE EDIT NOTES AT END.

Sometimes, when the nights were long and it was a struggle to fall asleep, she was plagued with memories. When the Castle of Lions was making its way through a new solar system, she remembered her days back home, her days on Earth, and her days with her family when it was whole. When they had finished some kind of epic battle after forming Voltron, she thought about how proud her father and brother would be if they only knew.

Time passed, but she always remembered.

She remembered that when Pidge Gunderson first met Takashi Shirogane, she wasn’t Pidge Gunderson but Katie Holt.

At the time, she and her family were attending a dinner at Galaxy Garrison in preparation for the sendoff of the Kerberos mission, and her father, brother, and the famous pilot Shiro were guests of honor. As a very curious mind, she had to meet the pilot who would hold her family’s lives in his hands...and to meet the man that so many of her classmates had idolized.

She was impressed.

Katie Holt spoke with Takashi Shirogane for a total of ten minutes, and she felt he was the kind of man she would trust with her life. It was no wonder that such a young pilot had been selected for an important mission when he carried himself the way he did. Her father spoke highly of him, after all, and Commander Sam Holt was the smartest man she knew.

Just weeks later, when she had to bid her family farewell, she spared a confident grin for their pilot. Shiro grinned back, flashing her an equally confident thumbs up.

There was a time where she believed those would be her last memories of the Kerberos team.

When it was announced as the pilot’s error, she felt _betrayed._ She had trusted Shiro to bring her father and brother back alive, and he had failed. Worse, she would never know what had happened, if their final moments had been swift or if they had suffered, and that made her heart hollow.

It also hardened her.

Katie Holt immediately decided to find out. For better or for worse, she _had_ to know. There had to be some kind of extenuating circumstance that had led to the pilot error, or to the ship’s crash, because none of the members of the Kerberos mission were incapable in the least.

And she couldn’t find it in her to blame Shiro.

He was a pilot of tremendous skill and unfathomable natural talent. When she thought about it, she saw no conceivable reason that the ship could have crashed with him at the helm. The tech would have alerted them to any anomalies around the spacecraft, and both her brother and father could perform the role of an engineer if required. It was where she had learned to tinker with all kinds of electronics, after all.

Her search for the truth only gave her more mysteries to solve...and earned her a ban from the Galaxy Garrison premises.

Pidge Gunderson still entered as a cadet and never stopped searching.

And then one day, she finally saw it. The alien chatter had been going off the hook, muttering about something called _Voltron_. It was then that the ship came crashing out of the sky, a craft that definitely didn’t belong to Earth. Even with Hunk and Lance and their usual antics going on all around her, she knew that she had to see what was happening, and she started typing furiously, bringing up the Garrison’s frequencies.

After successfully hacking into the Garrison’s feeds, she finally saw one of three men she thought she might not see again.

And he was _broken_.

Looking at Shiro now, it was hard to recall what he had been _then_. It was hard to recall the man he had been when he’d returned from his imprisonment aboard a Galra ship. And he had been frantic, so frantic that it was understandable when the Garrison had just...put him out. Like a light. After all, when a pilot that has been presumed dead for months returns and starts warning them about the aliens that even the Galaxy Garrison, with all their outstanding tech and advances, had yet to discover, it seemed like signs of some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder. It also made him seem a bit stark-raving mad, so they probably thought it had been for the best.

Pidge wondered what they’d think now, if they had seen all that the paladins had been through since that day. They had left Earth, crammed in the head of a giant blue robotic alien lion, and had landed right in the middle of a war that could determine the fate of the entire _universe_. They had been fighting for the last _four years_ , for their friends and family still on Earth and still unaware, and for every other living being in existence.

And Shiro, who the rescue team had probably deemed _delirious_ , was their captain and leader.

Sure, Shiro definitely had his moments, when flashbacks plagued him like Pidge’s memories were plaguing her. But there was no other man she felt she could trust with her life, with the lives of her friends, than the paladin of the black lion. It was an opinion that, though it had been shaken at the first news of the alleged crash, was even more firmly ingrained than before. He had never failed the team when it mattered most, and she knew she could trust him. There were _reasons_ that her former classmates had idolized this man.

There were reasons _she_ adored him.

As her first confidant, Shiro was perhaps the first person she thought of when she wanted to talk about her family. Out of everyone, he was the only one who had a chance of knowing them as well as she did, and he was the one most likely to help her find them. She trusted him to help her find them, and she felt... _comfortable_ talking to him about her family, about herself. It was strange for her to feel so at ease around someone, ever since she had been banned from the Garrison as herself.

It made it harder for her not to seek him out on nights like tonight, when she was lost in the realm of reminiscence and memories.

Pidge shook her head.

“Now’s not the time,” she grumbled to herself, sighing and leaning forward to continue tinkering with the small Altean gadget she had dredged up from somewhere within the castle. “I’ll just work on this a little more and then try to go to bed.”

The sound of her own voice, sometimes comforting in the area she used as her workspace, now echoed eerily. It made Pidge’s skin crawl and she rolled her shoulders in an effort to be rid of the sensation. To take her mind from it, her eyes trailed to the clock and a glance at the time showed that it was well into the wee hours of the morning. She stifled a groan, pinching the bridge of her nose between thumb and forefinger.

“There goes my good night’s sleep,” she shifted her glasses and leaned forward to mess with the wiring of her gadget. “At least I’m used to working on next to no sleep.”

“That’s not a good thing, Pidge.”

“I know, I know,” without even realizing it had been another voice speaking to her, she continued with her delicate task. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t _try_ to sleep. I do. I just _don’t_ sleep. Well, that’s a lie, because everyone has to sleep. I just...can’t. Especially not when I start to think about home and Mom and how she’s doing without me and Dad and Matt. And when I start to wonder if she’d even figured out that I was the cadet going by _Pidge Gunderson_ that went missing, I just get all worked up. And then I start to remember things from when I was younger and my family was whole again. Well, my family is still _whole_ , it’s got to be _whole_ , we’re just all apart right now. And-”

“ _Pidge_.”

A gentle hand fell on her shoulder and she jumped, a startled yell escaping as she turned to look at the figure behind her. And who else would it be but Shiro, the one she had forced herself _not_ to seek out?

His dark brows were furrowed in concern, and Pidge suddenly realized that she’d been rambling.

“Shiro! _Quiznak_ , you weren’t supposed to hear that! I was, uh, just rambling! N-no need to pay it any attention, really. I’m going to bed soon, I swear! I-”

“ _Pidge_ ,” his voice was firm, and she bit her lip to stop her babbling. His hand was still on her shoulder, and he himself leaned over to look her in the eyes. “You don’t have to hide this kind of thing from me. You can talk to me about any of that whenever you want. I’m here for you, Katie.”

The sound of her name made her sag in exhaustion, sinking back into her chair. To hear the word _Katie_ after so long was both a saving grace and a bittersweet memory of what she had lost and all she had left behind her when she took the name _Pidge Gunderson_. But being Pidge was part of who she was now. _Pidge_ was as much a part of her as _Katie_ now, and hiding behind her pseudonym was helping her cope.

Although...hearing her given name reminded her that she was still the same person.

She was allowed to remember her family. She was allowed to feel pain. She was allowed to let her friends in and talk about things, like any normal person could. But when she had first taken the name and identity of Pidge, she had pulled herself away from meaningful human contact. It had taken several bonding activities with her Voltron family to realize how much she had missed it...and it took Shiro’s gentle, comforting hand on her shoulder and worried gaze to remind her that her friends were always there, even when she wasn’t quite ready to confide.

Now, however, the words were begging to be spoken, and she felt them start to tumble past her lips.

“We’re close,” she murmured finally, turning her eyes away from him as a burning sensation filled them. “The place in the Galra records from Sendak’s ship, where my family was taken. We’re less than two days away, but it’s not in the direction we’re heading.”

Shiro inhaled sharply, just once.

“You’re sure?”

Pidge nodded. “I’ve been tracking the particular work camp ever since, monitoring how close it was. This is the closest we’ve ever been, and I just can’t sleep thinking...thinking about how they might be there, and how I’m not able to do _anything_ to go after them. I almost climbed in my lion once, and then I remembered that I had promised myself to stay here, with the team. I want to be here for my team, like a good teammate...but I feel so _conflicted_.”

Her eyes were filling with tears, but she couldn’t fight the temptation to look when Shiro’s voice called, “Pidge...look at me?”

“Is it wrong of me?” she asked, in a breathy, trembling voice as she stared back at her captain. “Is it so bad that I want to know if my family is alright? That I’m so tempted to leave to find them, if they’re still there?”

“Oh, Pidge,” the older paladin drew her forward into his arms, wrapping her in a tight embrace. “Of course it’s not wrong. They’re your _family_. It’s natural to want to know about them, and if they’re still there. But if you want to find them, you have to trust us, too, and tell us about things like this. We’re here to help you.”

“...but it’s putting the lives of two people above everyone else in the universe, and _I can’t do that_ . Not as a paladin of Voltron. Well, I mean, I _could_ , but I _shouldn’t_ -”

“ _Pidge_ ,” she paused quickly before her ramble could continue yet again, peering up at him. “We are _close_ to them. We’re not on our way to any other distress signal. We’re not currently fleeing from the Galra. We aren’t doing _anything_. Don’t you think that now is the _perfect time_ for us to go and rescue them, if they’re still there? And if they’re not there anymore, we can get information on where they are now.”

He smiled at her, and her heart fluttered for a few moments until she averted her teary gaze.

“You really think Allura will let us?” her voice was barely above a whisper. “Do you think Keith will agree this time? And what if we get a distress call on our way there, even though we’re so close? Obviously we’ll have to follow the distress call, but if we go way out of our way to get there, will they be willing to come _back_ this way or…” she stopped and took a deep breath without prompting this time. “...I’m just scared, I guess.”

It was Pidge’s turn to pull herself against the older pilot, clutching the back of his shirt as she wrapped her arms around him. His arms were gentle when they reciprocated her gesture, his hand running a soothing circle on her back as she took a few steadying breaths.

She hated her own weakness. When it was daylight and she had slept and she was composed, she was able to hide her insecurities with her sarcasm. But in the early hours of the morning, when she’d been wallowing in memories for hours already, it was hard to hold it in. Pidge knew that Shiro didn’t mind. He was considerate like that, and he was always willing to help out when and where he could.

At twenty-nine, he was by far the most mature of their entire team, and as Pidge approached nineteen, she looked up to him even more than ever. She knew she could rely on him, and felt like Shiro had placed his trust in her, too.

So she knew he wouldn’t resent her for the few moments it took her to calm her ragged breathing and to dash away the dampness that had built in her eyes. Shiro wasn’t that kind of man. But it still frustrated Pidge, and she composed herself as quickly as she could, extricating herself from her captain’s hold as quickly as she could.

Clearing her throat, she managed a slightly croaky, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he smiled at her, and her heart twisted. It was a gentle smile that she rarely saw, and it made her chest constrict every time. “Instead, why don’t you show me which planet it is?”

Taking a breath and looking away from him as quickly as she dared, hoping to calm her racing heart, Pidge looked back at her holoscreen. She was actively tracking their distance to the planet in question, and opened her mouth to tell him the name of the planet so he could find it. All of the items were labeled in her digital map, after all...but she closed her mouth when she realized that the words and labels were in Altean. After the near fiasco with Sendak nearly taking the Castle of Lions and all five parts of Voltron, Pidge had actively started teaching herself how to read and even speak a bit of the language, and any other language she could, to prevent anything like it from happening again.

“Oh, right,” she said vaguely to herself, leaning forward and tapping a few things to bring the display into English. “It’s this planet here,” she pointed to a planet labeled _Millerna_ , “and we’re here.”

The dotted line connecting their ship with the planet was labeled with the distance, in time, between them. Their current path would bring them just a little bit closer for the next couple of hours, but shortly after, they would be headed away from it. Pidge had marked that divergent point with a red box, and when Shiro pointed and asked, it took her a few minutes to muster the courage to explain what it meant.

The dashed line from their current location to the box was labeled _00:02:47:29:12_. Two hours, forty-seven minutes, twenty-nine seconds, twelve milliseconds.

In just under three hours, they would be headed _away_ from the last known location of Sam and Matt Holt.

“Alright,” Shiro pushed himself to his feet, hand sliding until his fingers lightly grasped Pidge’s wrist. “Let’s go for a walk.”

“A _walk_?” Pidge asked incredulously as she stumbled to her feet. Her legs were a little wobbly from hours of sitting in one place, and it took her a moment to regain her balance. “Shiro, it’s almost four in the morning! It’s the time for _sleeping_ , not walking!”

Shiro hummed in his throat and Pidge was left trailing after him, dumbfounded, as he moved his hand to grip her own, squeezing her fingers in a comforting manner. She didn’t understand what had come over him, but his hand was large and warm and perfectly encased her own, so she bit her lip and followed without further question.

Their trail led into the command center of the castle, and Pidge was even more confused.

“Shiro, what are we--”

Before Pidge could finish her sentence, Shiro slammed his hand down on the alert button, and the castle’s system came to life. Her mouth dropped as her team leader leaned into the intercom and broadcast his voice through the entire ship.

“Wake up, team, we’ve got a new destination!”

“ _Shiro!_ ” Pidge gasped as he ended the transmission, staring at him with wide eyes. “Shiro, what are you _doing_?! You can’t just wake everyone up in the middle of the night for no reason!”

Shiro looked down at her with an eyebrow quirked, as if in challenge. His eyes glinted with something she couldn’t quite identify, but his voice when he spoke next was lower, a voice meant only for her.

“ _No reason_? Pidge, we have all the reason we need to go there! You’ve equipped all the lions with the reverse engineered cloaking device, so we can send someone in for reconnaissance. We’ve freed dozens of the Galra prison camps, rescued hundreds of people. You’ve been tracking this planet for _years_ now, and if we’re this close and don’t do something about it now, then when?”

“But…” Pidge couldn’t find the words. Shiro held both of her hands in his and squeezed them reassuringly. Even the slightly cool touch of his prosthetic fingers was comforting. “...but what if Allura says no, Shiro? What if Keith complains that I’m putting my family above the entire _universe_ again? What if the security is tighter around this planet than any other? What if we _can’t save everyone_? I mean, if we can save _anyone_ it’s better than none, but if we can’t save everyone, then how are we supposed to call ourselves the defenders of the universe? And what if they’re not even _there_ anymore, Shiro? And what if we don’t have time to get more information from their systems before we have to run away again? What if the information we get out of the systems is _bad news_?”

She had rambled again, and her chest was heaving, but she still wasn’t out of questions or fears. However, Shiro stopped her as she prepared to continue by placing a cool hand over her mouth.

“Enough, Pidge,” his voice was soft, and he still squeezed one of her hands within his real one. He lowered the prosthetic to her shoulder. “You’ll keep tearing yourself apart with questions like this forever if we don’t do this now.”

Pidge ducked her head, biting her lip to keep herself from asking the one question she had always hated to consider.

_What if they’re gone, Shiro?_

The sound of the doors opening preceded the sound of Coran’s questioning tone. “Well, what is it, at this time of morning?!”

“I’d like to know the same,” the tone was Allura’s no-nonsense attitude in full force as she shuffled in, suited up and ready to go, though her hair was in slight disarray.

“Let’s wait for everyone else,” Shiro responded cheerfully, dropping his arm around Pidge’s shoulder and releasing her hand while turning to face the Alteans that had entered. “I’d like to only explain it once, after all.”

Allura gave a hum of agreement, stepping forward and examining the ever-moving map of the area through which they were traveling. After seeing no immediate danger or distress signals, she turned to Shiro and raised a delicate eyebrow at he and Pidge. Pidge averted her gaze, even though she knew that would make the princess even more curious.

The princess was already eyeing the arm that Shiro had draped around the tiny paladin’s shoulders, and Pidge was _not_ looking forward to _that_ conversation.

A few moments later, they heard the sound of footsteps and Keith jogged into the room, helmet under his arm and an inquisitive gleam in his eyes. A few seconds after, the sound of heavy, irregular footfalls and slightly labored breathing were heard, and then Hunk came into view, jumping as he tried to run and pull on his boot at the same time.

Lance, ever the last, was only moments behind Hunk, carrying the yellow paladin’s helmet in one hand and his own under the other arm.

“I think you dropped something, Hunk,” he said casually as he entered, and Hunk felt around his person for a few moments, mumbling a checklist under his breath, before looking up at the yellow headgear Lance was offering him.

“Thanks, man,” Hunk grinned.

“No prob, buddy,” the flirty paladin grinned back, before all three turned to look at Shiro expectantly.

“Now that everyone is quite done,” Allura spoke up first, “would you mind telling us what this racket is about, Shiro? There are no distress signals, and no signs of an attack on the ship. You said our destination would be changed. What did you have in mind?”

“Planet Millerna is the destination,” the paladin of the black lion stood straighter, finally removing his arm from Pidge’s shoulders. “It’s a planet that Pidge has been tracking for over _four_  years now, and we are less than two days away from it. In the information we took from Sendak’s ship on Arus, planet Millerna was the last place her family had been transported to.”

Lance straightened in surprise and Hunk let out a gasp. Keith’s eyes widened, but he had no other reactions, and Coran reacted similarly to Hunk.

Allura’s eyes widened, and she glanced once more at the map.

“Pidge, why didn’t you tell us sooner?” the princess asked sharply, taking a quick step over to the map. “If you’d known for _four years_ , we could have taken a wormhole to get here more quickly, or headed this way sooner!”

“I didn’t want to waste our resources,” Pidge’s voice was small at the outpouring of support from the taller woman. “I nearly left to look for them once and I decided I wouldn’t do that to everyone again. So I just watched…”

“It wouldn’t be a waste!” Allura’s tone was positively indignant, and she placed her hands on her hips as she stared Pidge down. “It’s your _family_ , Pidge, and we’re practically on top of their last known location! If you had said something as soon as we entered this solar system, we could already be there!”

“B-but--”

“No buts, Pidge,” Keith stepped forward, his hand on her shoulder. “We’re close to them, and we’re all together. This isn’t like the last time, when you were going to leave the team to find them.”

“All you had to do was ask,” Lance added. “If my mom were a Galra prisoner like your dad and brother, and we knew a place where she’d been taken, you can bet your last bowl of food goo that I’d be _begging_ the team to go after her.”

“Same!” Hunk agreed instantly. “Besides, your family are like, my _idols_. I always wanted to work with Commander Holt, even before I started at the Garrison. I read his books like, sixteen times apiece. And he has twelve of them. When Professor Montgomery assigned one of them for a textbook and purposely called on me when I didn’t bring it to class, he got _so mad_ when I answered it verbatim because I’d memorized it from all the times I’d read it before the academy. There was this one where I got all of my information about Fraunhofer lines--remember, way back on Earth when we were looking for Blue, when I told you about them? How the repeating series of numbers that the aliens were looking for looked a lot like a Fraunhofer line and how I built the Voltron Geiger Counter thing to find it? Yeah, it’s because of your dad’s book on elements and their emission spectrums. Well, that was only a small part of one of his books, but it was one of my favorite parts. I just couldn’t stop reading his stuff! And he had all of his research about life forms on other planets and stuff, and he really believed that aliens were out there and what do you know? He was totally right!”

“We’re a team,” Coran finally raised his voice to join in, and Pidge was mildly surprised that it had taken him this long. “We’re just like a family, so something that matters to you will matter to us, too! Buckle up, kiddos, and get ready to liberate another Galran prison camp! Let’s go get ‘em, shall we?!”

Pidge wanted to cry. Really, she did. But instead, she started to giggle, which turned into a hearty chuckle, which turned into full-blown laughter. She was just _so happy_. With these people at her side, Pidge actually believed they’d have her family back in just a few short days.

“Paladins,” Allura’s voice cut through Pidge’s laughter, “you have under two days to prepare. In two days, we will commence rescue operations on planet Millerna. Pidge?”

The paladin of the green lion forced herself to stop laughing and straightened, barely noticing that a gentle hand was once more pressed lightly to the center of her back. When she could, Pidge responded, “Yes?”

With a roll of her eyes, the princess commanded, “Go to sleep.”


	2. Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She closed her eyes and envisioned her family, smiling and waving. She remembered frolicking with her brother when they were younger, and her mother scolding Matt for teasing her too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2!
> 
> Remember: I use she/her pronouns for Pidge in this fic. And I have changed the ages to reflect recent information, and I have increased the time since they left earth to compensate for this.
> 
> Thanks for understanding! Hope you enjoy the update. :)

Pidge stared back at the princess for a few moments, astonished. How did she expect Pidge to _sleep_ at a time like this?! They were about to mount a rescue mission for Sam and Matt Holt. It was a chance that Pidge had waited almost five years for, since the false reports of their deaths.

 Her friends, however, chuckled around her.

 “You heard her,” Shiro’s voice held hints of the mirth he was holding back. “C’mon, Pidge, let's get you to bed.”

 It was then that she became aware of the warm pressure in the middle of her back. Shiro grinned down at her when she turned to him, mouth open as she prepared to retort indignantly that she didn't need to go to sleep, but she faltered when he started to propel her from the room.

 “W-wait!” Pidge protested, trying to push back against her guide. “Shiro, I don't need _sleep,_ I need to help plan! There's preliminary recon, and remotely hacking into the system to figure out patrols, and making sure that the pods are in working condition so we can successfully free the prisoners and—”

 “—and there will be time for you to do all of that after a good night's sleep.”

 Shiro’s voice was calm and brooked no argument, but she still wasn't ready to leave the subject be.

 “Surely I could—”

 “Pidge,” his hand left her back and he stepped up beside her to drop his hand on her shoulder. “You need to sleep. I doubt you've had a good night's rest since we entered this system, and it's been nearly a week since then. And besides, we can handle things while you sleep. Coran and Hunk are perfectly capable of checking the pods for malfunctions and starting repairs, and we can send Keith for the preliminary surveillance of the area.”

 “They're my family,” she mumbled as their footsteps slowed to a halt. “I just want to help…”

 The paladin of the black lion gave her shoulder a squeeze.

 “You showed us the way. You've been bearing this weight on your own shoulders for so long, it's about time you let us take over for a few hours,” the smile he gave her made her chest warm. And then Shiro slipped his arm around her shoulders and gently nudged her forward. “Time for you to get some sleep.”

 With some reluctance, Pidge fell into the pace her captain had set, the comforting weight of his arm across her shoulders serving as her guide. And when they reached her room, she let out a soft sigh and opened the door.

 “I'll try to rest,” Pidge relented, “but I'm coming back to help if I can't.”

 Shiro just chuckled and gave her a light squeeze before he dropped his arm from her shoulders.

 “Get some rest,” he said simply, smiling calmly at her. He nudged her across the threshold of her room and hit the button to close the door. He grinned and waved as it closed, and Pidge let out yet another sigh as she watched him disappear behind it. The expression on his face, that cheerful attitude as he bid her goodnight, had made him seem a few years younger. The memory of it made her chest tighten, and she had to take a deep breath.

 When the universe was depending on Voltron, she didn’t exactly have time to dwell on that kind of feeling.

 Still, Pidge stood in the middle of her room for a few moments, staring at the door, before she turned and stretched her arms above her head. She made her way to the closet to change for bed, despite the nervous energy that filled her from all of the events of the last twenty minutes. She still wasn’t sure she’d be able to sleep, but she would at least try. If just to humor those that were worried about her.

 But... _five years_ had passed since the last time that she had seen her father and her brother. The thought that she _might_ get to see them again in just a few days made her hope like she had scarcely dared to hope for years, and that hope filled her with warmth.

 She decided to focus on the happy possibilities, despite the occasional negatives that tried to interfere.

 And with those thoughts in mind, she clambered into her bed and commanded her lights to turn off, resigning herself to a few sleepless hours of staring at the dim holographic map that was always gently roving across her ceiling. There, above her, she could just make out the dim planet they were heading towards. The Altean lettering for Millerna flickered gently, and she watched as the distance to their destination lessened with every passing tick.

 “I’m coming, Dad, Matt…” she murmured to no one, eyes fixed on the faint orb. “Please, _please_ be there.”

 She closed her eyes and envisioned her family, smiling and waving. She remembered frolicking with her brother when they were younger, and her mother scolding Matt for teasing her too much. She remembered the way Matt whined at her when she told their father that he had took one of his scientific instruments apart and had needed her help to put it back together and she remembered the way that the older man had laughed and praised them both for putting it back together _correctly_.

 Her mom’s favorite song...she could still hear the melody of it, gently coursing through her mind.

 When the song ended, Pidge groaned and opened her eyes. She sought planet Millerna on the dim map across her ceiling once more, and then the distance between it and the Castle of Lions. And then she blinked to clear her vision, staring at it before blinking again.

 She sat up as quickly as she could and turned to find the clock on the wall by the door.

 It read _12:43 PM_.

 She had _actually_ fallen asleep! It had been over eight hours since she had crawled into bed at the request of the rest of her team, and somehow, she’d actually dropped off.

 Pidge scrambled out of bed and nearly tripped when the sheets tangled around her ankle. She hopped three times before she regained her balance, holding still with her arms out in the center of her room for a few moments longer to make sure she was steady. She then rushed to her closet to change and in moments, after snagging her glasses off the table by her bed, was on her way to the castle’s command center, cursing under her breath.

 “ _I can’t believe I slept so long!_ ” she mumbled vehemently. “I can’t believe they _let_ me sleep so long!”

 Her footsteps echoed in the halls, a metallic ringing, as she nearly sprinted to her destination. When she was finally in view of the open doors, she saw Allura already looking curiously down the hall at the sound and sheepishly slowed to a brisk walk.

 It looked like Allura was alone. Pidge remembered the look she had been given by the princess in the wee hours of the morning, when Shiro’s arm was draped casually and comfortingly around her shoulders. The memory caused her cheeks to grow warm against her will, and she silently pleaded that Allura had forgotten about it. And she did her best to school her expression into the former irritation she had felt over being allowed to sleep in so late, which wasn’t hard.

 The hardest part was fighting down the reasons _why_ she felt so flustered.

 Pidge knew. Pidge knew _exactly_ why she was flustered, but she fought against it and did her utmost to make sure that it was the _one thing_ that never crossed the mental bonds she had with her fellow paladins. Lance would tease her endlessly, Hunk had probably already guessed, Keith would smirk a little and raise his eyebrows, and _Shiro_? She honestly couldn’t decide how he would react, and she’d rather not find out just yet.

 Pidge didn’t think she could take one of his brotherly pats on the head if he found out.

 Shaking her head, Pidge stepped across the threshold. Her suspicions were confirmed when she entered and found the princess alone, and she continued to silently pray that the Altean woman wouldn’t bring up the events of the morning.

 “Why didn’t someone wake me up?” Pidge asked in lieu of a greeting, and before she could stop herself she continued, “I didn’t need to sleep that long. If you had to let me sleep, you could have still woken me around ten and I would have been fine.” Unnoticed by the rambling young woman, Allura opened her mouth to speak, but Pidge forged onward. “I mean, that would have been around six hours of sleep, and that’s enough to function on because I definitely didn’t need almost nine hours—” the princess’s eyebrow twitched as she tried, and failed, to speak again, “—and you let me waste too much time when I could have been helping check the pods and making sure the cloaking on the lions is functioning and keeping an eye on the holomap to see if there were any obstacles in our path!” Allura took a step forward, frowning slightly, as the paladin continued, “I really think I would have been a lot more help if I had been awake. I mean obviously I would have been more help awake than I was asleep, but—eep!”

 The small, surprised sound that escaped her lips when Allura stepped forward and clapped her own hand over Pidge’s mouth made the princess start and stare at Pidge for a few moments. The paladin felt her cheeks coloring and froze, waiting for Allura to break the stunned silence.

 “Well, _that_ was certainly unexpected,” the princess finally said after several long moments, dropping her hand from the paladin’s mouth. A smile teased her lips. “That was incredibly girlish. I’m proud of you.”

 “I _am_ a girl,” Pidge deadpanned, tilting her head slightly to the side. “And what was that for, anyway? I was trying—”

 “—to tell me that you want to be useful, yes, but you wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise, now would you?” Allura waved a hand at Pidge, as if dismissing her concerns. “If you had, I would have told you that everything is _fine_ , and that we’re perfectly capable of handling a few hours without you. We’re not all _Lance_ , after all, even if he does have his uses…”

 Pidge snorted in a very unladylike manner and Allura grinned slyly back.

 “At any rate, Pidge, you should eat something first. In fact, Hunk just started a late lunch, so it should be ready soon. After that, we can figure out where you’re needed most but until then, don’t fret.”

  _Easier said than done_ , Pidge couldn’t help thinking, but sighed in resignation anyway.

 “Sure, sure,” she drawled, even though she would rather get to work right away. Saying so now wouldn’t change the obstinate princess’s mind, after all. Once Allura had made a decision, she would stick to it. She and Pidge were very similar, at least in that regard.

 “In the meantime,” Allura’s tone was slow, almost calculating, with just a hint of amusement, and Pidge immediately glanced up. It was a tone she wasn’t sure she cared for, and the grin on the Altean’s face made her grimace. As if she hadn’t noticed, Allura continued, “why don’t you tell me why you and Shiro were together so early in the morning?”

 Pidge very carefully schooled her expression, waging a valiant fight with the flush that threatened at the other woman’s insinuations. And she definitely, _definitely_ , wasn’t picturing any possibilities that were being hinted at because that was positively _ludicrous_.

 “I couldn’t sleep and Shiro came and found me. I don’t know why he was awake that early, so if you want to know that, you’ll have to ask him,” she shrugged, averting her eyes. She wasn’t willing to give Allura any more reason to give her that suspicious look, and if she met the princess’s gaze she was afraid of doing just that. “We talked for a while, and I told him about planet Millerna, and he decided to wake everyone up.”

 The paladin of the green lion rolled her shoulder a little, trying to work out a kink left over from sleeping, and she heard the princess let out a sigh. She felt calm enough to lift her head now, so when she looked towards the princess, Pidge noted the exasperated expression she wore.

 “Fine, fine,” Allura shrugged, a gesture she had picked up from Pidge over the last few years. “You won’t confide in me, I get it,” Allura sounded mildly irritated, and a little confused, but she certainly wasn’t going to hold back. “Maybe it’s because I’m royalty from another planet, or because you’re afraid that I’ll tell someone, _but it’s okay to like him_ , Pidge!”

 As Allura spoke, with conviction that the paladin was normally impressed by, Pidge let out a yelp and proceeded to stutter incoherently for a moment. She then clapped her hand to her mouth for a few ticks, her face burning, before quickly excusing herself with a rushed, “ _I’m gonna go see if Hunk needs help with lunch okay bye!_ ”

 And as she sprinted from the room, past Coran who hailed her cheerfully as she went by, Pidge fought to hold back the burning in her cheeks while her mind churned.

  _Allura knows. Allura knows something I won’t even admit to_ myself _and I only confirmed it by running away and I have no idea what to do about it. How long has she even known or suspected it, though? Am I really that bad at hiding it? Will she actually keep it a secret? What am I supposed to do if she actually tells Shiro about it? Will she try to help_ — _oh,_ quiznak _, I hope she doesn’t try to help because that’s mortifying! What would she even help with?! It’s not like I’m planning on doing anything about it!_

 As her thoughts raced, Pidge struggled to determine just where her legs had taken her. She hadn’t turned the right direction to go to the kitchens, and it took her a few moments to realize that she was almost back to her makeshift workshop. She slowed to a halt and paused, trying to control her breathing, as she gently leaned her shoulder against the wall.

 “It’s nothing,” she told herself softly. “It’ll be okay. Allura won’t say anything, and everything will be fine. It’s over now. _It’s okay_.”

 Her habit of giving herself verbal pep talks was something she probably needed to grow out of, but it did the trick and calmed her down. And as soon as Pidge felt ready, she turned to make her way back towards the kitchen. She’d used helping Hunk as an excuse...but if he did want a hand, then she’d gladly offer it. It would help her feel like she had contributed something to the rescue preparations, after all.

 When she reached the kitchen, however, she was cheerfully greeted by Hunk and immediately relocated to setting the table when she offered to help.

 “No offense, Pidge,” Hunk began, stirring some sort of purple stew, “well, actually, maybe some offense but I have _seen_ you cook. And, don’t take it the wrong way, but please don’t help right now. It’s already a late lunch and we skipped breakfast and I’m _starving_ and if you helped, I’d have to fix it and then it would be later before we all got to eat. I mean, like, I know you can cook back home, but that first time you tried to cook out here? Man, Pidge, I still have _nightmares_. I swear, that fuschia food goo was _still breathing_. So just, uh, go set the table, please? That’ll be a big help.”

 Frowning, she went about her new task.

 “Okay, I may not be _the best_ , but I can at least make something _edible_ ,” she mumbled to herself, placing a plate in Coran’s usual spot. “Not as good as Hunk’s cooking, sure, but it’s not like I blow up the kitchen. I’m not _Lance_ trying to make a secret dessert or something as a surprise. And are we not going to consider the time that Allura tried to cook?”

 Suppressing a shudder, Pidge put a plate in the last spot, her own, before heading back for the flatware.

 As she bit back her mutterings and continued setting the table, Hunk entered the room with laden arms. He grinned at her sheepishly as he placed his latest concoctions in the center of the table and turned back to the kitchen to retrieve more.

 Still just a little peeved, she decided that she wouldn’t offer her help carrying the food out and childishly moved more slowly about the table with the spoons and forks and knives.

 Hunk _was_ justified in asking her not to help, she knew. But it had been three and a half years since _that_ incident, and he had even helped her learn a little more about cooking with alien ingredients in that time, so surely she wouldn’t have muddled _everything_? Though, considering that Hunk had skipped breakfast even though he had been up since four in the morning, and that this lunch was late, the possibility that she might mess up was definitely a daunting prospect. And as her own stomach rumbled a little, she knew she’d probably react the same way as Hunk had if their roles had been reversed.

 Just then, he returned and added more food to the center of the dining table before stepping back and observing his handiwork, and hers.

 “Looks like we’re ready!” Hunk beamed, patting his stomach. It had probably growled just like hers had done moments before. As soon as she had finished placing her own flatware on the table, he spoke again. “Pidge, you hit the intercom and tell everyone it’s time to eat! I’ll go grab some juice and then we’ll be all set!”

 “Got it,” Pidge sidestepped around the table once more and headed to the panel beside the door as Hunk headed the opposite direction. She pulled up the holoscreen and selected the intercom and, when it indicated it was functioning, she simply stated, “Lunch is ready!”

 It was eerie, just a little, to hear a faint echo of her voice in the hallway via the open door, but she shrugged it off as Hunk called for a little help. Pidge let go of her childish grudge for his insults to her cooking skills, just this once, as she went to assist.

 And then, after fielding teases from Lance at lunch about how she had slept so long, greeting everyone else as normal, and avoiding Allura’s eyes at all costs, she was finally able to escape to the pods with Hunk and Coran. Coran set her to making sure they had correctly installed the reverse cloaking device on the four escape pods they had tried it on, and then told her that she could take over installing it on the others and making sure it was functional while he and Hunk fixed any hardware issues they found.

 Pidge grinned as she set to work, eager to get her hands on _something_.

* * *

 

 When the paladin of the green lion sat back on her heels and ran the back of her hand across her forehead to observe her work—on the last pod—she beamed. Everything was installed correctly, and now all she had to do was test it.

 Pidge reached forward to press the button, pausing to call out to Hunk, “Hey, Hunk, testing this one out! Come check it for me!”

 “Yeah, just a sec!” his voice was muffled, and as she sought him with her eyes, she finally found his legs sticking out from under the pod next to her. She stifled a snicker and waited, rather impatiently, for him to finish whatever he was doing. “I gotta finish checking this undercarriage—I think there’s a crack and I can’t quite get to it.”

 He grunted with effort and she heard a metallic _clink!_ She took it to mean that he was removing parts to get to where he thought the problem might be, and she heard him muttering to himself. Pidge caught that something was out of alignment, that he’d need a specific tool, heard him mumble something about getting Coran to help later, before he finally pulled himself out from under the ship.

 “Ready?” she asked as he dusted himself off.

 “Yeah, then I need to get Coran to help me with this one. Let’s make it quick!” Hunk flashed her a grin and Pidge finally pressed the button. Hunk stood, examining her pod for a moment, before cutting a wide circle around it as he went to check every side. After a few minutes, he came back up to where he started and called, “Looks good! The entire thing is cloaked and nothing’s showing through. Nice job, Pidge!”

 She hit the button again to disengage the cloaking and grinned, “Thanks, Hunk! This was the last one. Got anything else you need me to do?”

 “I’ve got something for you to do,” a different voice said, and both Pidge and Hunk turned to find Shiro in the doorway. “We’re going to send Keith out tomorrow morning when we’re closer for recon, and he wants to make sure Red’s in top condition. He did take some nasty hits in our last battle.”

 “Good idea!” Hunk immediately piped up, reaching under the pod he’d been working on to pull out the part he’d disconnected. “And on the way, if you happen to see Coran, send him this way. I think we need to replace half of this hardware and I could really, _really_ use his help with this. I mean, at least it’s not _everything_ because the thermal pipe’s not busted or anything, but at this rate we’re gonna have to stop somewhere for parts soon. We’ve had to fix these pods a few times and it doesn’t come cheap, so sometime between this mission and the next it would _probably_ be a good idea to restock, especially _these_ ,” he waved the part in his hand, “because they burn out really quickly because we’ve had to enhance the shielding on the pods to protect the people we’re rescuing.”

 “I’ll get Coran for you if we don’t find him on the way to Keith,” Shiro assured the engineer. “That is, if Pidge doesn’t have something else to do right away.”

 “No, I’ll go check on Red!” Pidge hopped down from the ship she’d just checked. “I’ve finished cloaking the rest of the pods. If you need me to tweak something after you’ve made the repairs, Hunk, just let me know. Sometimes, those cloaking devices can be a little finicky if you mess with the hardware after installing them.”

 “Sure thing, Pidge!” Hunk was tinkering with the part in his hands, turning it this way and that. “And thanks for getting Coran, Shiro!”

 “No problem, Hunk,” the older paladin grinned and raised his hand to wave as Pidge rushed up to him. “Keep it up!”

 Hunk gave a hum of acknowledgement, and then Shiro and Pidge took their leave. Pidge pulled out a handheld and started to look up the specs she’d recorded for the red lion. There were a few parts she’d definitely have to look at because they were damaged easily, and since Red was so testy, making sure he was in top shape was the only way she could help out. Keith had a pretty good handle on his lion now, but sometimes the feisty machine still acted out, and usually at the worst of times.

“Did you sleep well?” Shiro’s voice cut across her thoughts, and Pidge looked up at him. She narrowed her eyes.

“I told you at lunch that you guys let me sleep _too_ long.”

“You needed rest,” his simple reply, coupled with a gentle grin, made it hard for her to continue to feign annoyance. “You haven’t really been sleeping since we entered this system, Pidge. Everyone could tell you were exhausted.”

“It’s not the first time I’ve gone a few days without much sleep,” she stubbornly lifted her chin. “I would have been fine with just a few hours. Six hours is plenty of sleep for me, like I told Allura first thing this morning. I wouldn’t have wasted so much time if you guys had made me wake up earlier than I did, and—“

Shiro’s sigh cut her off, and he told her, “You didn’t waste any time. The Dryden system is a really big system. Even traveling at normal speeds, we’ve already been here for almost two weeks. That’s more than a few days without much sleep, Pidge. It’s not healthy.”

She felt herself sighing for what seemed like the millionth time that day. On a certain level, she knew that Shiro was absolutely right…but she had also inherited the Holt family stubbornness, and she didn’t want to give up so easily. And so she found herself opening her mouth, and she grumbled, almost in defeat, “I’m fine. I’m completely used to it by now. I’ve had fits of insomnia ever since the Garrison reported that you guys were dead, Shiro. I’ve had almost five years to get used to it, so it doesn’t really affect how I function anymore.”

That was kind of a lie, and the breath she heard Shiro let out proved that he knew it, too.

“Not sleeping enough will always be hard on you, Pidge, even if you can’t feel the difference,” his voice was understanding and gentle, but also had a stern edge to it. His hand came to rest on her shoulder again, squeezing comfortingly. “Letting you sleep this morning was for the best, and you know it was, too.”

“Fine,” she exhaled the word, the fight draining out of her. She was stubborn, yes, but she had learned that Shiro was a tough opponent. She also couldn’t bring herself to argue with him over something so simple…even if she really would have preferred to help more. So she diverted her attention to looking over her information on the red lion again, swiping to see details on the cloaking device she installed on him, as she acquiesced, “I know it’s bad for me. And unhealthy. I just can’t help it, and I don’t want you guys to worry about me because of it.”

“We’re a team,” the black lion’s paladin dropped his hand from her shoulder. “We’re like a family. Of course we’ll worry about you, whether we have a reason to or not.”

Pidge snorted and turned to enter the red lion’s dock. Keith was there, his hand resting against Red’s front leg with his eyes closed, likely trying to get inside the lion’s head. At her approach, however, both Keith _and_ the lion turned their heads to her…the paladin with his eyes still closed. Pidge shuddered a little. Even though it had been several years since they had learned to see through their lions’ eyes, it was still unnerving every time she saw it.

“Ooookay,” she drew out the word, pausing, “Keith, that’s _creepy_.”

He snorted and Shiro, behind her, chuckled. Keith pulled his hand away from the metal of his lion and opening his eyes to look at her with a smirk. After patting Red, he stepped away and said, “As if you haven’t done it to scare Hunk and Lance before.”

“True,” Pidge grinned back at the memory. “That was a good one, wasn’t it? Now, is there anything in particular that you want me to look at?” she stepped forward and put her hand gently on the red lion’s leg. “Or do you want me to do a full diagnosis and see how much there is to look at? If he’ll let me, I can hook Red up to my system and run a few tests on his programming and his hardware, and from there I can determine if anything is running rough. Last time we did that, I found that one little thorn that was really bugging him, after all.”

“Whaddaya say, Red?” Keith looked up at the lion. An affirmative rumble filled the room, and Pidge nodded.

“Okay, then. Full diagnosis it is. I have to go get my things, but I’ll be back soon!” Pidge straightened, gave the red lion a pat and a grin, and waved at Keith as she turned to get her equipment.

Shiro, still observing from the door, gave Keith a wave and said, “And I need to go find Coran, like I promised Hunk.”

“See ya,” Keith called back distractedly, waving a hand as he looked up to Red. Pidge suspected that the lion was communicating with his paladin and turned away, off to her workshop.

Shiro turned and kept pace with her, despite his announcement that he was off to find the Altean mechanic, and she glanced up at him. She was far from being upset that he was staying beside her, of course, but there was only a slight chance that Coran had made it to her workspace, so there wasn’t really a reason for Shiro to trail her if he was really intent on finding the eccentric.

“So…where do you think Coran is?” she finally asked, swiping once more on her handheld, pulling up the holoscreen to go over more of Red’s specs before she went back to examine the lion itself. “I mean, there’s a possibility he already went back down to the pod docks, or he could be in the command room with Allura, or even checking on one of the other lions. I guess he could be tinkering with something in my shop, but I doubt it.”

“I’m not sure where to find him,” Shiro admitted with a chuckle. “I’ll just check all of the possibilities one at a time.”

“You _could_ call him on the intercom,” Pidge suggested with a grin. She then adopted an announcer’s tone and imitated a call, “’ _Paging the Coranic: Hunk needs your assistance in the pod docks! I repeat, paging the Coranic: Hunk needs your assistance in the pod docks!’_ or something like that?”

“ _Ha_!” Shiro let out a single laugh, followed by another chuckle. “I could do that, but Hunk didn’t seem to want Coran there immediately, otherwise he could have called himself. He kind of looked like he wanted to check the problem out a little more so he could tell Coran more when he got there.”

After a few moments’ consideration, Pidge nodded.

“That does sound like him. Hunk likes to know everything about a problem first before diving into it, so while you’re looking for Coran, he’ll find out exactly which parts they need to replace.”

They fell into a comfortable silence then, Pidge zooming in to see something on her blueprint of the red lion while Shiro casually observed over her shoulder. It was easy for him, since she had barely reached the height of his own shoulders even after all the years that had passed. She was constantly teased as the smallest person of the team, mostly by Lance and sometimes by Hunk, but while she wished she had grown in height as well as in other things, she had to admit that being petite definitely had its uses.

When she glanced up, she realized that the next door on the left was her destination, so she slowed her pace, pressing her hand to the pad by the door. It slid open and she stepped inside, Shiro pausing to glance in after her.

“Coraaan! Are you in here?” She called into the room. When only the sound of her voice echoed back, with no rummaging from anywhere among the shelves of tools and trinkets that lined the opposite wall, she turned to Shiro and shrugged. “Looks like your princess is in another castle.”

Shiro raised a quizzical black brow and Pidge just grinned back. After a few ticks, Shiro shook his head and ruffled her hair. She ducked out of the way as quickly as she could, feigning distaste as she finger-combed her hair back into place. He was always doing little things a brother would. “With that, I’ll be off to look elsewhere for him, then. Take care, Pidge.”

“Later!” she called after him, watching as he disappeared down the hall. A few moments passed before she shook herself back to the present and went to her hovercart to see if all of her instruments were on it.

The paladin ran through a mental checklist as she found necessary items, and when she finished, she quickly compiled a list of things she needed to grab from around the room. And just a few minutes later, she ran through her checklist again until she was certain she had everything she needed to run her diagnostic tests on Red. Once she was satisfied that she was prepared, Pidge pushed her cart from the room and closed the door, turning to head back down to the red lion’s hangar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, you can find me at [battleshidge](http://battleshidge.tumblr.com) or at [panda013](http://panda013.tumblr.com) over on tumblr! :)
> 
> I have a few big things planned for chapters after this one, so if this was a little slow, please don't be discouraged! I dropped a few more hints here than originally intended but...you'll just have to keep reading to find out more!
> 
> Thanks for dropping by!


	3. Maintenance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With every lightyear nearer to planet Millerna that the small red lion indicator traveled, Pidge’s chest constricted even more. The excitement, the nervousness, the possibilities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE'S CHAPTER THREE. TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME BEFORE IT GETS LONGER.
> 
> Well, it's only right around 6K but it's still the longest chapter so far. Hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Remember, you can also find me on tumblr at this name!

 

An hour after Pidge had begun testing Red for any possible issues, she had a list of things she needed to adjust. A few of the parts she needed to get to for maintenance were tough to reach and she groaned at the thought. She had approximately thirty-two hours to make all of her repairs before they reached planet Millerna, and only around six hours in order to send Keith off on his preliminary scouting in good time.

While Pidge had confidence that she could execute all of her tasks in plenty of time, it still wouldn’t be fun.

“What’s it look like?” Keith’s voice sounded, and the paladin of the green lion startled a little, turning to look at him. She’d honestly nearly forgotten his presence. She tended to do that when she started working with her machines and tinkering, and it was a habit she was a little ashamed of.

“Nothing too big,” Pidge assured him, pushing her glasses up her nose with a single finger, “the few maintenance concerns are pretty easy to fix. The biggest thing is getting _to_ some of the parts that need a look, but I should be able to handle it.”

“The perks of being tiny,” a smirk played at his lips.

Heaving an exaggerated sigh, she reluctantly agreed, “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I need you to get Red to sit up as straight as he can to make it a little easier. Sometimes he slouches a little, and he doesn’t listen to me. It’s kind of like a kid that hates going to the doctor, and in this case he’s the kid and I’m the doctor. I mean, I’m not a doctor—“

“You’re just a nerd,” another voice said from the doorway, successfully cutting Pidge off mid-ramble, and both of the room’s human occupants turned to see the paladin of the blue lion in the doorway, grinning at them. “Don’t give me that look! It’s the truth!”

“— _anyway,_ ” Pidge chose to ignore him, turning back to Keith, “like I said, if he’ll sit up a little straighter, it’ll be easier to get to some tricky connections and I’ll be done faster.”

“How long do you think it will take?” Keith asked, pulling his gaze away from Lance and putting a palm on Red’s foreleg again.

“Should be able to finish in under three hours, with cooperation,” Pidge tapped a few keys on her handheld, which gave her an ordered list of which parts to fix and when. She skimmed it a few times, ignoring Lance’s indignant protests at being ignored as he stepped further into the room, and finally put it to the side when she thought she had the order down. As she did so, the red lion begrudgingly shifted before her, drawing himself up to his full height.

“That good enough?” Keith questioned, glancing at the green paladin.

“Perfect!” Pidge nodded. “Thanks, Keith. And thanks for cooperating, Red,” she gave the lion’s leg a gentle pat and a metallic purr echoed throughout the room. She and Keith shared a chuckle as Lance finally reached them and started to direct his frustrations on the red paladin.

“—ignoring me! C’mon, it would’ve taken five minutes to—“

Pidge tuned him out, affixing her tool belt and all the necessary devices she’d need before starting the climb to the first of her tasks. Lance’s voice softened and he and Keith conversed in hushed tones as she made her way above their heads, finally finding the panel she needed and prying it open to begin maintenance. Before long, the sounds of voices became nothing but a dull hum in the background, and the tinkerer was lost in her wires and calculations.

She made short work of the first few problems, because they were incredibly easy to get to and it was as simple as tightening a bolt—or the Altean equivalent of one. The more difficult problems presented themselves as she climbed a little higher and she started to see more scuff marks and small dents from the last few fights. Keith’s lion was good at dodging, but his chest had taken a beating when he had been pinned in the last fight. Pidge murmured assurances to the red lion that she was sure he could hear, even if he didn’t usually respond to anyone but Keith, and opened a particularly dinged and dented panel.

As soon as it was open, she groaned a little, pausing to survey the damage.

The wires were a jumbled mess, and she could tell that one of the small power crystals near the back was knocked just slightly askew. A few hits out in the field, or just jostling it wrong, could have caused Red to lose some of the power in his right foreleg. Pidge rolled her shoulders and started to sort out the wires, eventually shoving her torso into the tight space so she could reach everything she needed to fix.

“ _Shit_ ,” she cursed, jerking her hand back when a current passed through and shocked her. In her mind, she felt the amusement of the red lion and she tried to impress upon him the sheer force of how unamused she was. Red didn’t seem to care, and her brief connection with him was gone. “Brat,” she muttered, shaking her stinging hand.

“Everything okay?” she heard Keith’s voice a few moments later, feeling a brief flash of his emotions through their paladin link. “Red won’t tell me what he did.”

“He only tried to electrocute me a little, no big deal!” Pidge called down, finally reaching back to shift the power crystal back into place before wriggling out of the compartment. “That’s why I’m wearing my work gloves, after all. My armor, too, come to think of it. And all things considered, at least he’s not as bad as Blue. It hurts falling from his back when he just wants to tease you and startles you. He’s bigger than Red is, after all, and I wasn’t wearing the suit then, so no jetpacks to save me.”

When she spotted Keith, peering up at her skeptically, she bent the fingers of her shocked hand and waved down at him, as if to assure him that nothing was wrong, before making her way to the next spot.

“Are you sure it’s fine?”

“Yeah!” she tossed back indifferently, already searching with her eyes for the next spot. Climbing was getting difficult now that she would be away from Red’s haunches, which she had been standing on so far, so she was incredibly thankful for the built-in jetpacks in the Voltron armor. She jetted to the next panel she needed, labeled 37R on her blueprints, and frowned a little. “Ask Red not to play any more tricks, if you could, though. Here’s where the maintenance things get even trickier, and I’d rather not have to deal with practical jokes while I’m trying to sort them out.”

Quickly, she went to look at the rest of her locations before settling in to work. Each successive panel looked even worse for wear than the last, so she could only assume that they were in equally rough condition inside. Her diagnostic test had picked those areas for a reason, after all.

“Here goes,” she murmured to herself, preparing to start working again.

* * *

 

A few hours had passed, and all she had left to do was tweak the cloaking device. Pidge sat back and wiped the sweat of concentration from her brow even as Keith tossed a pouch at her.

“Almost done?” he asked as she opened the drink and took a long swallow.

“Almost,” she answered, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “I just need to run some tests with the cloaking. It acts up sometimes after I’ve been adjusting hardware, so I have to set it right after maintenance. And with Red, it’s especially finicky. He doesn’t particularly like to be stealthy.”

Keith snorted in agreement. “Yeah, that’s true.”

Pidge didn’t bother mentioning that his paladin was very much the same. They were a reckless duo, but they were a perfect match. They rarely got into trouble that they couldn’t get themselves out of, which was more than she could say for Lance and Blue. But…that’s what the team was for. She grinned to herself a little as she finished the juice that Keith had given her, and then she pushed herself to her feet.

“I should be done in about thirty minutes,” she rolled her shoulders to work out some of the kinks and then reached for her gloves. “As long as everything goes smoothly, that is.”

The red paladin nodded without a word, picking up his bayard. As Pidge had been working, he’d been training, practicing his swordplay with an invisible enemy, and he was probably going to continue doing so. He had always trained a lot.

Before he started practicing again though, he paused and called, “Oh, Hunk started cooking. It should be ready by around the time you’re done.”

“’Kay!” Pidge called back, waving a little as she activated her jetpack. It only took her a few seconds to reach the panel at the base of the red lion's head, and she carefully pried it open.

Humming to herself, she took a few quick mental notes before reaching in to start testing the reverse cloaking device. She attached a wire from her handheld to run a new diagnostic on just that particular mechanism, and once she had the information, she unhooked the wires and scrolled through the results. It had been jostled in the last fight, it seemed, and was hanging loose. Her other fixes had also upset the balance, so Pidge prepared to make the appropriate adjustments.

In about fifteen minutes, she had all the internal programming reset, and she reattached it to its mount with practiced ease.

“Next, we check to see if it’s working right…” Pidge mumbled to herself, leaning back to find Keith. He was, as she has suspected, practicing with his sword still. She raised her voice and called, “Hey, Keith! Can I get you to hop inside and test the cloaking?”

He looked up, his bayard reverting to normal, and called back, “Sure!”

Pidge closed the panel and backed away to circle the lion from the air, watching as Red seemingly disappeared. But there were patches of red on his front left shoulder that were showing through, so she told Keith as much and he flicked the cloaking off while Pidge returned to the panel.

“That should be…” she searched for a particular wire and reached in to reattach it as soon as she found it, “...this one! Okay, Keith! Try it again!”

He didn’t say anything, but a few seconds later, the device activated. Pidge examined it from every angle and, once she was satisfied, she gave a thumbs up. The cloaking faded again and Keith clambered out of his lion’s mouth, watching as Pidge went back to the panel to make sure it was secured.

“Is he ready?”

“Red’s as ready as I can get him,” the smaller paladin grinned, lowering herself to the floor. “As usual, the cloaking isn’t infallible on him and I don’t have the solution to that yet, but you know him best, so you should be fine. And the last few times we went out, the cloaking didn’t glitch at all, so it’s definitely making some progress. That doesn’t mean it _can’t_ glitch, but _maybe_ it won’t. Just be sure to be careful. Well, _you’re_ usually pretty careful, but you can never be _too_ careful…”

“I get it, Pidge,” Keith snorted and she snapped her mouth closed, flushing a little. “It’s just recon, so it should be fine.”

“Right!” she smiled, but inside she was still uncertain.

She had done everything she could, though. She took a deep breath and set to gathering up her things, trying not to think of the numerous _what ifs_ that had been plaguing her the entire morning. Pidge had tried to be optimistic, but years traversing across unknown solar systems and encountering the unexpected had taught her to be on edge. And considering that it concerned her family, ones she had at one point nearly given up for dead, she just couldn’t stay as entirely optimistic as she wanted to be.

Hopeful, she could be. But completely and purely positive was something she couldn’t do.

“Heeeeeey!” a loud voice suddenly sounded through the castle’s intercom. “It’s time to eat everyone! Get in here before it gets cold. Oh, and Pidge, if you’re not done yet just take a break and come eat or else I _will_ come find you to _drag_ you here!”

Keith snorted. Pidge sighed and finished throwing her stuff on the hovering cart.

“Keith, you go ahead. I’m taking this back and then I’ll be right there.”

“Can do. See ya there,” the paladin of the red lion raised a hand in farewell as he made his way out. The petite woman followed after, pushing her tools before her.

“Let’s see,” she murmured to herself as she pushed the cart. “Red’s done. After that, I need to go double-check the cloaking devices on the last few pods. I could always give the other lions a quick check, just to make sure everything’s working right...and…”

She continued making a mental checklist even as she turned down the hallway that led to her workshop. Pidge had about seven things on her growing list when she paused outside the door, trying to think of more things to do. They were _so close_ , and she couldn’t let herself sit still any longer. She’d slept far too long and there were several things that she could help take care of, she was certain.

Someone cleared their throat, and she nearly jumped out of her skin, head shooting up to search for the source of the sound.

And of course, it just _had_ to be Shiro, arms crossed and eyebrows raised, leaning against the wall across from her. She had the sneaking suspicion that he’d been waiting for her because she had a little bit of a habit of working through dinner until someone came to find her and drag her back or brought her food—thus, Hunk’s warning. Sometimes she missed the warnings on the intercom, though.

“How long are you going to stand out here?” Shiro asked casually, as if he hadn’t just watched her pause to think. “If you don’t get to dinner soon, Hunk’s going to send a search party for you.”

“I’m just putting my stuff back,” Pidge retorted, finally opening the door to guide her cart of tools in. “And what about you? Why aren’t you in there yet?”

“I was on my way when I saw you come around the corner,” he gestured to the end of the hallway as she left her cart in her workshop and stepped back out, closing the door behind her, “so I thought I’d just wait for you.”

“You just wanted to drag me there,” Pidge grumbled, crossing her arms.

Shiro chuckled, but he didn’t deny it. Instead, he gave her shoulder one of his brotherly squeezes and beckoned, “C’mon, let’s go.”

Pidge huffed, but she started walking ahead of him and tried to ignore his presence behind her.

* * *

 

Shortly after the meal, Pidge and the others went to see Keith off on his recon mission. At her insistence, Pidge managed to wrangle and agreement out of him that he’d test functionality one more time before he left the immediate vicinity of the Castle of Lions, though his acquiescence was exasperated at best. They had all learned to deal with her checking and rechecking her specs, so it wasn’t really anything new.

Almost everyone had left already and Pidge was running through her schematics for the red lion, checking and rechecking that she had fixed everything on her list, when she heard footsteps from just outside the hangar. At first, she suspected that it was Shiro or Hunk, coming to pull her to another task just to get her moving again.

“Rival!” a sing-song voice called out then, and she knew that it was only Lance coming to pester the paladin of the red lion one more time before he set out. Keith, already suited up and ready to go, lifted his head almost _too_ eagerly to see the lanky paladin’s late arrival.

“What do you want, Lance? I’m about to leave, you know,” Keith feigned disinterest, but Pidge smirked softly to herself as she dutifully continued _‘ignoring_ ’ her friends.

From the corner of her eye, she saw the taller man reach forward to run his fingers through Keith’s hair while he put a certain bravado in his voice, as if to fool her when he said, “Yeah, yeah, I know. Just don’t mess up out there, Rival!”

 _Just be careful out there_ , Pidge translated in her head.

She pretended to keep observing her handheld schematics, occasionally scrolling for good measure, while trying not to laugh at Lance’s attempts to hide a relationship that everyone was already suspecting. Even Keith had realized that the rest of the team had caught on, but he continued to let Lance make a fool out of himself, and the rest of the team retained their rights to mercilessly tease the blue lion’s paladin about his obsession with calling Keith ‘ _Rival_ ’ and messing with his hair.

Keith groaned and retorted, “I won’t. I’m not _you_.”

Pidge heard, _of course I’ll be fine, idiot_.

“Hey! I resent that!” Or, rather, _I know, but…_

She prided herself on the fact that she could interpret their secret conversations pretty flawlessly by now. They spoke in a language that was purely their own, but there were inflections that she could pick up on and read almost as clearly as if they were written across Lance’s face.

“Yeah, yeah,” Keith brushed off Lance’s indignation. “Everything good, Pidge?”

He was assuring Lance he’d be fine...again. And then giving Pidge a subtle cue to leave, which she was tempted to ignore just to torture them. But, she was a good friend and glanced up only after she’d seen Lance retract his hand out of her peripherals, and grinned as she replied, “Yeah, looks like it! Remember to test everything one more time and let me know before you leave the area. I gotta go finish double-checking the cloaking on all the pods, so I’ll see you. Good luck out there!”

She waved as she left, and as a courtesy she closed the hangar door on her way out. It wasn’t like anyone else would come by, but just in case.

“Oblivious dork,” she scoffed softly, her mind on the lanky paladin. Pidge shook her head and continued down the hall, on her way to the pod docks to do the required maintenance on them, and then she’d move to the next things on her list. Provided, of course, that someone didn’t interrupt her or try to maker her go to sleep again.

Oh, yes. She was still _very_ bitter about oversleeping.

But while there was work to do, she could forget about that. Just a little bit. And luckily for her, she had four escape pods to check the cloaking devices on, according to Hunk’s intel, so she’d be busy for a good hour, two at the most. The next thing on her list was checking Blue for any issues, but last time she had checked, there hadn’t been a problem. Red had taken the damage in Blue’s place in the last fight. Keith was very protective, after all.

When she paused to think about it, the entire team could be pretty protective. It was admirable that they’d come so far when she considered their very first group exercise. She was still a touch frustrated that she’d been the first one down, though, no matter how much time passed.

It frustrated her a little more when she was the _last_ one standing, because it felt like her teammates had all protected her and she had failed to protect them.

Shaking her head of the thought, Pidge mindlessly went to work. She threw herself into the tasks at hand and, in seemingly no time at all, she had finished tweaking the cloaking devices on all the pods for the refugees. She had searched for Lance and nearly bullied him into letting her take another look at Blue and, when she was turned away because nothing was amiss, she sought even more to work on.

In her workshop, she pulled up the holoscreen and watched the map of the Dryden System as planet Millerna drew nearer by the second. Or, since she had switched it back to Altean time, by the tick.

The red lion’s progress was also labelled, thanks to a tracking mechanism installed on all of them. It was a device she could easily sabotage, remotely, just in case some enemy ever got their hands on the feed, but thankfully she’d never had to use that setting. It was the next best thing, when Allura didn’t have the time to track the lions with the life-force connection they shared.

With every lightyear nearer to planet Millerna that the small red lion indicator traveled, Pidge’s chest constricted even more. The excitement, the nervousness, the possibilities. They were all weighing her down, as if she didn’t already have enough anxiety to deal with in the face of finding out the fate of her father and brother. That’s why finding something new to work on was at the top of her to-do list. She couldn’t _stand_ to sit still when she was prone to overthinking things.

So as her fingers worked, she tried to occupy her mind with calculations.

Unfortunately, those calculations kept reverting to something along the lines of _if we keep going in this direction at this speed, pending possible interferences, we should reach launch zone for the mission in approximately_ …

She was still just out of range for hacking into the work camp’s system, so she couldn’t yet warn the approaching red lion about any patrol patterns to look out for. That kind of unnerved her, because Pidge liked to be prepared for _everything_ and not being in the loop about the Galra schedule was driving her up the wall. She kept her tracker up, though, waiting for the signal to wax strong enough for a good hack, as she took apart and rebuilt a spare cloaking mechanism she had made. It was an older model but she was still trying to improve her devices, so she couldn’t just toss it away.

Lost in her own thoughts in her scramble to keep herself occupied, she missed the sound of her workshop door opening.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

At the voice, she sat up straighter and turned to face its owner. She’d known from the instant she heard him speak, but she hadn’t mentally prepared herself for Shiro to walk in. She didn’t want to repeat the early morning, when she had been completely out of sorts and had slightly broken down, so she took a few calming breaths and gave him a wry grin.

“Where else would I be? Coran and Hunk haven’t given me anything else to do, and Blue is in good condition. Hunk takes care of his lion, and I looked at yours a few days ago and fixed what was wrong with it. I fixed mine first. All the pods are ready to go, I can’t hack into the Galra systems yet, and I don’t really wanna deal with Allura right now—”

“What did the princess do this time?” Shiro snorted, coming up beside her. He leaned to peer at the map, despite the fact that her labels were once more in Altean.

Pidge opened her mouth to explain that Allura would tease her about _him_ and then realized that it was the one thing she _didn’t_ want him to know and clammed up. It was a shuffle to close off her thoughts without being too suspicious, considering the mind connection that the paladins shared, but she tried to cover it with, “Oh, you know. More _bonding_ since we’re the original two women in the castle. I don’t understand why she can’t have bonding time with some of the people we’ve rescued. There will be _plenty_ of people for her to have girl talk with in just a day and a half, if everything goes well. She doesn’t _need_ to talk to _me_ about that kind of thing.”

“Hmm,” Shiro hummed, and then easily lifted a box from her spare chair and carefully moved it so he could take a seat. “What kind of thing does she want to talk about?”

 _What kind of—_ she couldn’t tell him what! Pidge cast around for something to say and settled on, “You know. Just...girl things. Dresses, hair, skin, makeup. Boys.”

_Shit._

The team captain laughed, reaching out to lightly tug on her short ponytail. “She’s just trying to get to know you better,” he offered a smile. “We’ve been together for four years and you keep turning her away. I’m sure that she treasures all the times that you’ve actually confided in her.”

“Yeah, but she always wants me to try on her old dresses because I’m so small,” it wasn’t hard for Pidge to fall easily into this flow of conversation as she tried to steer a little bit away from the _boys_ topic, a disgruntled pout on her lips. “I don’t mind dresses, I guess, but I’m just more comfortable in my normal clothes. It makes it easier to move, and to work on things, without having to worry about something as stupid as my skirt flipping up or the possibility of getting an oil stain on her fine Altean silks. I probably couldn’t even _begin_ to pay for one of them! Plus, if we have an alert, I can more easily pull armor on _over_ a pair of shorts than I can over a skirt, if I have to. I like to be prepared. And when she wants to talk about hair she always laments that I cut mine off to join the Garrison, and tries to convince me to let it grow longer again. I don’t _want_ long hair, not when I have to put a helmet on over it all the time! Besides, Allura managing to get all of her hair into that bun has to be some sort of Druid sorcery, because my bun would be _twice_ that size if my hair was as long as hers is. And let’s not even _mention_ the skin product she made me use one time. It smelled so weird!”

“Girls have it rough,” Shiro supplied, a teasing grin on his face. “Even in space, it seems.”

Pidge groaned. “Don’t remind me! And Allura always wants to talk about how a girl has to be able to handle herself with grace in all sorts of situations. Fancy balls, political meetings, parties, battles, emergencies. It’s not like I’m _incapable_ of doing feminine things. It’s just more natural to do things my way, I guess? And maybe it’s a princess thing, but _why_ would I need to be _graceful_ in the middle of a battle?”

“She’s just looking out for you in her own way,” the older paladin reached out to pat her on the shoulder. She could tell he was enjoying her struggle, though, from the twinkle in his eyes. And she could feel the warmth of his mirth across the paladin bond.

“Well, I’m not a princess like her,” she looked away from Shiro before she could get too distracted by his cheerful expression. She glanced at her holoscreen for a moment, checking Keith’s progress and how much farther to go before she got a strong enough signal to hack into the prison camp, before turning back to tinkering with the device in front of her. “I wasn’t raised to be some huge political figure, some symbol of beauty and power. I was raised to be a space explorer, a scientist and inventor with the Galaxy Garrison, because I said I wanted to be like Dad when I was young. I don’t regret that, so why would I want to change it now?”

“Whether you feel like a princess or not, you’ll always be one to your family, you know,” Shiro’s voice was soft, and Pidge looked at him quizzically, her cheeks feeling a little warm. It was kind of like _Shiro_ was calling her a princess, and it came with an odd set of conflicting emotions. “Whether you were raised to be a princess or raised to be a soldier, you’re still your parents’ little girl, and somewhere inside they’ll always think of you as their little princess, no matter how old you get.”

“Th-that’s something entirely different,” Pidge murmured, embarrassed. She hadn’t expected the conversation to take that kind of turn.

When she glanced at him from the corner of her eye, he smiled gently at her and capitulated. “That’s true. But just remember that next time Allura wants to have a bonding moment with you.”

“S-sure,” she managed, though she wasn’t entirely sure what remembering that fact would do for her interactions with the princess. Was it supposed to make her feel like she and Allura were on more equal footing? “A-anyway, were you looking for me for anything in particular?”

“Just wanted to check on you,” the reply was casual. “I hadn’t seen you since dinner, after all. And it’s almost eleven, so I was thinking you might want to rest soon.” She couldn’t stifle her groan in time, and one of her captain’s eyebrows shot up. “I hope you weren’t planning on going without sleep tonight, right before such an important mission?”

Pidge bit her lip and didn’t reply, fidgeting with her current project. She knew that even if she fibbed and said she was planning to sleep soon, he wouldn’t buy it. Shiro had figuring her out down to an _art_ , and she was really bad at avoiding him.

Partially because she wanted to see him, but also partially because he knew her haunts.

“Pidge…” his tone held a hint of warning.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” she grumbled. “It’s not good for my health, it could jeopardize the mission, it’s dangerous, it’s better to be well rested. I just don’t want to oversleep again, and with as long as I slept this morning I’m not sure I can go to sleep any time soon. And I just...want to be up, in case anything happens. Pretty soon we’ll be in range for me to hack into the Galra feeds and give Keith patrol information, and I want to be awake for that. I also want to keep an eye on things, just in case he’s going to cross with an outer patrol, so I can warn him. I know he’s got the cloaking, but it’s always best to be cautious anyway, because they can pick up the presence of the lions on their sensors even if they can’t see one.”

“Don’t worry about it. As soon as you can hack in, send the feed to the control room. Allura, Coran, and I are taking shifts tonight to keep in touch with Keith.”

“Wait, why wasn’t I told earlier?!” Pidge frowned, looking up at Shiro again. “If you needed another person, I could— _oh_.”

Shiro had grinned when she started to offer her help, and the realization that they had avoided telling her _because_ of that dawned on her. Everyone was just looking out for her again, and while she was indignant at first, she knew they just wanted to help out. So instead of continuing, she gave an exaggerated sigh, and the tight grin that her companion had been wearing softened into a warmer smile.

“Attagirl,” he teased, reaching out to ruffle her bangs.

“Shiro!” she whined, reaching up to lightly push his hand away. It was his left hand, and she could feel the warmth of it through his glove, so she let her fingers linger for probably a few moments too long before she retracted her hand and tried to go back to tinkering.

“Promise me you’ll try to sleep after you get the feed?” Shiro prompted, using his knees to push himself to his feet. “Even if it’s just a few hours, Pidge, promise me.”

She looked up at him, and the way his eyes were imploring her, and she sighed. Pidge had never really been able to resist that pleading gaze, especially since it seemed so out of place on Shiro’s face, and tonight was no different. So she gave in with a soft, “I’ll try.”

His hand rested on her shoulder for several long moments until he finally spoke softly, “Thank you, Katie.”

And there it was again—her name. There was something about the way Shiro said her name that always made her heartbeat speed up, and she fought the heat rising up her neck to grin at him instead. She wrangled her emotions into a friendly feeling in her mind rather than the other _things_ that were trying to surface, and Shiro gave her another one of his gentle smiles. He squeezed her shoulder a little more tightly for a breath, and then he relaxed his grip and let his hand fall from her shoulder as he started toward the door.

“When’s your shift?” she couldn’t help asking, and he paused before leaving the room.

“Allura’s is just finishing, and I’m up after her.”

Pidge frowned, “But that won’t give you much time to sleep, will it?” He was worried about her not sleeping enough, when he was going to be up half the night? If so, it was definitely a bit hypocritical of him. She bit back the torrent of words she had for him in order to watch his reactions carefully.

Shiro scratched the back of his head sheepishly and then admitted, “I actually came to talk to you right after I woke up from a nap, so I’ll be fine. I just wanted to make sure you’d go get some sleep, too.”

“Of course you would,” Pidge mumbled, and when she saw the other paladin quirk an eyebrow from the doorway she raised her voice, “I said good luck! And make sure not to fall asleep on the job or Allura will have your head!”

“Sure you did,” he retorted, but he chuckled as he waved. “See you later, Pidge.”

“Later, Shiro,” she waved back as he disappeared, the door sliding shut behind him.

As she felt their mental connection grow a little weaker as he put distance between them, she breathed a sigh of relief and felt her neck start burning with a vengeance. It crept into her ears, and Pidge groaned and buried her face in her hands. No matter how many times in the last year she had told herself there wasn’t time for whatever feelings she had, the paladin couldn’t rid herself of the telling reactions whenever the older man was nearby.

She hoped he was oblivious, but not everyone could be Lance.

“Work on the old cloaking device, Pidge,” she scolded herself softly, removing her hands from her heated cheeks. And she did continue to work, but her progress was much slower as Allura’s words kept coming back to her.

 _It’s okay to like him_.


	4. Departure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The clock read 3:07PM in their native Earth timezone when the castle’s alarm bells started blaring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Less than 48 hours since chapter 3, and already chapter 4?
> 
> I don't advise getting used to the quick updates, but I was super stoked about the ending scene (which was supposed to be the ending scene of chapter 3 oops), and I had to get it written.
> 
> Your reviews are fantastic, and thank you so much! Just know that even if I haven't responded to you, I cherish every comment I've received thus far!

It was just after midnight when Pidge successfully hacked the Galran work camp feeds and started to send the information through to the command center, where she knew Shiro would be waiting for it. Pidge also knew that he expected her to immediately go to sleep after patching it through, but she continued to watch for a little while. Keith wasn’t in any immediate danger of running into a patrol, of course, but it made her feel better to keep an eye on it anyway.

Pidge finally went to bed around two in the morning and woke up around eight with a personal alarm. She climbed out of bed and followed her usual morning routine, which was a comfortable change from the day before. Her mornings, after all, rarely started in the early afternoon as it had the day before, and she was happy to get back some semblance of normalcy. 

She stretched her arms above her head and decided to warm herself up for the evening’s rescue by slipping off to the training deck. Though she was the smallest member of the team, she still had to be capable of pulling her own weight. In addition to that, rescue missions had always entailed some sort of legwork and hand-to-hand combat, so she wanted to be as prepared as possible. Pidge was aware that she was, physically, the weakest, but she was determined that her shortcomings wouldn’t hold her team back. 

With those thoughts in mind, she had a quick match with one of the drones she had reprogrammed before returning to her room to clean up.

Afterwards, Pidge made her way to the control room. When she arrived, Allura was alone, watching the red lion’s progress. As Pidge entered, the princess pulled up a patrol schedule and cross-checked it with Keith’s position. Although he had been responsible for the early morning shift, however, Coran was nowhere to be seen. She wondered briefly if he was sleeping after having the last shift or if he was checking on some of the castle’s defenses. He could have always slept early, like Shiro had done when he’d napped the night before, or he could have stayed up through the night. 

She shook her head. It didn’t really matter where Coran was at the moment, because it was just then that the princess glanced over towards the door and noticed the paladin’s entrance.

Allura blinked, and then beamed as she greeted, “Good morning, Pidge!”

“Morning, Allura,” the paladin responded, stretching a little. She stepped up to take a closer look at the diagrams floating around the room, watching the patrol pathways and Keith’s lion just as the other woman had been doing moments before. The map showed that he was just within the patrol radius of planet Millerna, but he was clear of the scheduled patrols. There were no signs of any issues, but she decided to ask just in case, “Everything was okay overnight?”

“Not a hitch so far!” Allura replied, her tone warm and optimistic, “Coran’s taking a bit of a nap, but he’ll be back up in just an hour or two and we’ll start prepping for the mission as Keith gives us some intel. He has spotted the main camp, and he’s set to land in the next hour so he’ll be able to give us more information as soon as he’s closer.”

“Gotcha. Do you have anything I can work on?”

“We’re pretty much set right now, so it’ll be fine if you relax a bit. You can stay here and keep an eye on things with me for a while. Or Lance was just here, but after checking how Keith was doing, he said he wanted to go train for a while. You could keep him company?”

“Lance?  _ Awake _ at this hour?” Pidge asked incredulously. But he was probably worried about Keith, and she wasn’t surprised. She neglected to mention that she had already done a little bit of training, though, and decided to duck out of the control room before Allura could start trying to talk about feelings again. “Well, I’ll go to the deck and see what he’s up to, then. Maybe we can do some kind of partnered exercise, or spar a little. I’ll come back later to see what you’re up to.”

“Don’t wear yourselves out too much!” Allura chirped, waving as Pidge turned to leave. Pidge waved back and made her way back down through the halls. She couldn’t believe she was heading to the training deck for the second time this morning, but it  _ was _ rare for Lance to be awake so early. He could probably use some company right about now.

When she reached her destination, she at first thought that Lance had fibbed to the princess, because he was nowhere to be found. She almost turned around to leave, but then she spotted him sitting on the ground against the wall, bouncing some sort of ball off the wall opposite with a vacant look in his eyes.

“Need a partner?” she piped up from the doorway, and Lance jerked his head up so quickly that his momentum carried it back against the wall. She winced in sympathy and figured he was probably thankful for the light layer of padding she’d added, against Allura’s wishes, after one too many clashes with the Gladiator on a setting too high for them.

“Oh, Pidge,” he said in a vain attempt at his usual gusto. “Hey. I’m just…”

_ Moping _ was what she wanted to suggest, but she bit her tongue and asked, “Why don’t we just play catch? It’ll warm us up so that we’re keeping our eyes open, and it’s not so strenuous that it will wear us out. What do you say to that?”

She offered him her hand and he gave her a grin, reaching up and purposely letting her do most of the work. With a grunt of effort, she pulled the lanky paladin to his feet. Despite knowing how much she had improved over the last several years, Lance was still caught off guard by her strength and stumbled forward a few steps. Pidge pretended to dust her hands off and then placed them on her hips, smirking at her teammate as he turned to give her an incredulous look. 

A smile broke out across his face and he started to laugh. She grinned a little, because a laughing Lance was really the best Lance to be around. The sight put her more at ease, and they fell into easy banter as they tossed the ball between them. Their little game continued fairly smoothly, if she didn’t count Lance taking a hit to the face a time or two and the one time that Lance threw it like a baseball pitcher into her stomach, for a while. They only stopped when Hunk came to the door with a call for brunch around ten.

Lance glanced over at Pidge, and she caught the mischievous smirk that crawled across his face. She knew that meant a challenge, and then he darted away, past Hunk in the doorway, as he called back over his shoulder, “Catch me if you can!”

“Bring it on!” she roared, unwilling to give in even though he had a head start. She spurred herself into motion and dodged around Hunk as he started laughing. Pidge was agile and fast, though, and had made up some ground on him fairly quickly. She had used her knowledge of the castle’s blueprints to take a slightly shorter route and was only a few paces behind him. She spotted Coran stepping out of a hallway as she passed and veered slightly to the side, focusing on catching the lanky man ahead of her.

She had nearly caught up to him by the time they turned the last corner, in fact. But Lance let out a shocked sound akin to a squeal and she heard the solid sound of two people colliding as he ran into someone. As the two went down, Lance’s flailing leg caught her in the shins before she could dodge it, and she completed the heap with a startled yelp.

Dazed for a few moments, Pidge didn’t move until a voice, slightly breathless, said, “It’s good to see you, too.”

“Hey, Shiro,” Lance wheezed, and then started laughing as Pidge started to scramble off of them. The team leader’s voice had been enough to shock her out of her daze, and she was mildly mortified.

“Shit, sorry,” she managed to force out, stumbling backwards as Lance shifted and nearly sent her sprawling again. His foot had hooked her calf and it was only by hopping that she maintained her balance, her arms moving in circles as an added countermeasure.

“Nice to see you two so energetic,” Shiro observed, quirking an eyebrow as Lance clambered off of him. He sat up as soon as the childish man had climbed to his feet and continued, “But maybe watch the language next time. Besides, what’s the running for?”

Pidge and Lance shared a look, both to share a bit of exasperation at the language quip and as a reminder that they had been racing. It was Pidge’s turn to grin and she quickly spouted, “ _ Tell you at the table gotta go bye _ !” and turned to sprint ahead.

“Wh-wait! Pidge,  _ that’s not fair _ !” Lance cried, and she heard him start rushing after her, his footsteps loud in the metal hallway.

When the tiny paladin glanced back as she pivoted into the dining room, she saw Shiro dusting himself off and watching them in confusion. Pidge could see his smile, though, so she felt a little less guilty for falling on top of him...even though it had been Lance’s fault to begin with.

“It’s my win!” She declared triumphantly, sliding into her seat as Lance reached the edge of the table.

With a groan, Lance flopped into his chair. He crossed his arms and pouted like a child and then whined, “You only won because you caught me off guard, Pidge. If it had been a fair race—”

“If it had been fair, you wouldn’t have left me behind at the training deck!” Pidge stuck her tongue out at him with a laugh.

“...Touché.”

“So...what was all that about?” both of the younger paladins looked up as Shiro entered the room and walked towards his usual spot. He paused, one hand on the back of his chair and the other on his hip, as he looked down at the two. Pidge grinned sheepishly and Lance let out a rather boyish laugh, leaning back in his chair.

“Just havin’ a friendly race!” Lance boasted, and then lowered his brows accusingly. “You know, Shiro, I was winning before you stepped out in front of me. I was  _ lightyears _ ahead of Pidge!”

“You barely had  _ two steps _ on me!” Pidge retorted. “I would have had you by the time we reached the door anyway.”

“Pfft, yeah right!”

“Wanna bet?” the tiny paladin grinned and leaned forward. “We’ll race again, fair and square this time. No cheating and leaving ahead of me! Winner gets bragging rights. If  _ I _ win, I get your desserts for a week.”

“You’re on!” the lanky man leaned over, but paused before shaking her offered hand. “If  _ I _ win, though, you have to do whatever I say for a week. How’s that for fair?”

Pidge clasped hands with him and agreed, “Deal!”

“Now that you’ve come to that agreement,” Shiro said slowly, “we’ll have to postpone your race for a while. You were already at the training deck and then you raced here, so you should probably save your strength for the mission now. We can have that race after we all get back. Got it?”

“Sure,” Lance shrugged, “just as long as Pidge doesn’t chicken out on me.”

“I’m not the one that we need to worry about,” she rolled her shoulders, casually leaning against the arm of her chair. “You’ll probably realize that you’re no match for me, and then you won’t even show up for our race.”

“Oh, yeah?” the paladin of the blue lion cried indignantly, puffing out his chest. “I’m not the coolest dude in the entire universe for nothin’, you know. I wouldn’t be so awesome if I fell for your little psychological tricks, Pidge. Don’t think you can scare me off!”

Pidge snorted and opened her mouth to reply, but never really got the chance to speak.

“What was all that commotion about so early in the morning?!” Coran’s voice sounded, and he appeared in the doorway, looking mildly amused while trying to look stern. It wasn’t working. Hunk had arrived right behind him and made his way to his seat. He’d already put all the food out on the table, but they had yet to touch it since they had been bickering childishly since taking their seats. “The two of you dashed by like a pack of raging Yalmors was on your heels!”

Hunk raised his hand and laughed, “Pick me! I can answer that!” and proceeded before Coran could bother with asking, “Lance challenged Pidge to a race and she doesn’t like to back down from a challenge. Pidge has  _ never _ liked backing down from a challenge. She used to even talk back to Iverson at the Garrison and  _ hoo boy _ is she lucky that Lance kept interfering before she made it worse. Like the day we left Earth, holy wow. But hey, we’re here now, and we’re alright, but Pidge? You should probably learn to let some things slide because every time you made Iverson mad I thought he was going to expel you on the spot.”

“That was  _ four years  _ ago, Hunk,” Pidge deadpanned. “And Iverson was a stuffy old bastard, anyway. He lied to Mom and me about my dad and Matt. And about Shiro. I had every right to be angry with him, when he was keeping things from us.”

“Pidge, you shouldn’t talk like that about him,” Shiro prodded calmly, but in a tone that warned her not to argue. “He was just doing what he thought was best. You have to admit that announcing we’d been taken by an unidentified spacecraft would only cause panic.”

“He didn’t have to tell everyone,” she stubbornly responded, reaching to start filling her plate as Hunk was already doing. “He could have just told the families involved.”

_ He could have just told my mother and I. _

Shiro didn’t respond to that, a sign that he understood exactly where her mind had gone. She wanted him to say something, though, or wished that she had something else to talk about to break the tension. Pidge, however, had difficulty with diffusing emotional situations and relied on Hunk instead. Her eyes skated across him and the engineer, sensing a possibly awkward silence looming, started to talk about the new recipes he’d tried with some tubers he had picked on the last planet they’d landed on.

Allura brought a portable screen with her to continue monitoring progress shortly after that, however, and they all started to eat.

Pidge joined in the usual banter during the meal, but when she slipped back to her workroom afterwards, she couldn’t help but think about the awkward silence she’d caused. She’d put Shiro in a corner, unintentionally, when she knew that he had been right. She didn’t like leaving a talk with him on that heavy note, no matter what the conversation entailed. It made her feel exceptionally guilty, and she had to fight the urge to go find him immediately and spew an apology before she even had time to think about what to say to him.

She could only imagine the potential blunders in that course of action, and each one made her cringe.

* * *

 

The clock read  _ 3:07PM _ in their native Earth timezone when the castle’s alarm bells started blaring.

At first, it caught Pidge off guard. 

_ There can’t be a distress signal! We’re already working on an operation! _

A few seconds later, though, she came to her senses. Pidge knocked her nearly completed cloaking device from her desk as she shot up from her chair, running through a checklist of everything she needed. She could lament the parts that came loose later, when the lights weren’t angrily flashing red and the sirens weren’t nearly deafening her. When she was on her feet, she swept her work area quickly to find the one missing item from her mental list. When she found it, she swiped her helmet from a nearby surface before bolting towards the control room, and Allura’s voice rang out over the intercom, “Paladins, to me! Immediately!”

For the second time that day, she nearly collided with someone in her mad dash through the halls, though this time it would have been Hunk. The both managed to avoid running into each other by veering at the last moment, though her shoulder clipped the wall in the process. And then she pulled away from him, leading the race with her own frantic heartbeat pounding in her ears.

When she reached the control room, Allura, Coran, and Shiro were already present. She stumbled across the threshold, stepping forward to take her spot on Shiro’s left, as the sounds of other running footsteps rang out behind her. At the drawn, grim expression that the princess wore, Pidge felt her chest tighten. Impatiently, she glanced over her shoulder as Hunk and Lance arrived together, slightly breathless.

“We have an emergency, paladins,” Allura’s tone was sharp, nothing like the optimistic one she had used that morning. “An unscheduled patrol craft from planet Millerna crossed the red lion’s path. Keith reported that all was well, but then we received a reading of some sort of electromagnetic pulse emitting from the craft. In that moment, we received another transmission from him—”

“—the electromagnetic pulse disrupted the cloaking mechanism.”

Pidge and Hunk spoke in unison, and shared a glance. Pidge’s throat constricted even more quickly than her chest had, and she suddenly found it incredibly hard to breathe.

Allura’s quick nod made the bottom of her stomach drop out, and the princess continued, “Precisely. Keith has resorted to evasive maneuvers. We are left with two options, and I wanted your opinions. The first is to withdraw and try again in a few days’ time, but there is no guarantee that the Galra won’t take action before then. They could move the prisoners or call in a battleship. The second option is to let Keith create a distraction while the rest of you use your cloaking devices and land.”

“The first option isn’t possible,” Shiro said without hesitation. “We have to act, and we have to act now.”

“That’s what Keith suggested, and I believe that as well,” the princess nodded, not even waiting for the opinions of the rest of the team. She could probably read the determination in their faces, and traces of the fear that Pidge had struggled to hide. “Keith was right above the planet when his cloaking mechanism failed. He was able to send me a rough map of the work camp’s aerial layout, and there are three main barracks where he believes prisoners are held.”

A holographic diagram materialized at a touch of Allura’s fingers and she pressed onwards, “One of the presumed prisoner barracks is near this quarry, another is here next to this lake, and the last is butted up against the Galran center of operations. If we want to rescue everyone, the latter will be the most dangerous place to look.”

As Allura spoke, she pointed to the positions one by one. Her hand lingered on the base for a few moments, a furrow between her brows.

“That’s probably where they keep their prisoners that are physically too weak to work in the quarry,” Coran spoke. “They used to use prisoners to do some menial tasks that they thought it was a waste to use drones for.”

Pidge honestly wasn’t hearing half of what they were saying. Her eyes were following a path between the buildings in question, trying to figure out which one her family might be in, if they were still on the planet. If they were still...no. She couldn’t think like that. Not at a time like this.

“Like Allura said,” she managed, her voice slightly hoarse. She flushed a little and cleared her throat before continuing, “the one near the base is probably the most dangerous to liberate. We need two people to go there, if possible. And we have to consider the fact that Keith will be distracting them as well as he can, but if we’re spotted, we will be under fire, as well. Since we have to get out of our lions to search inside the facilities for prisoners, we’ll have to land at a distance and go the rest of the way on foot. We have to proceed with caution.”

Allura nodded, “Of course you have to be careful! Stay on your guard, paladins, and protect each other. But now you have to go!”

“Right!” Lance, Hunk, and Shiro chimed in unison, but Pidge couldn’t manage to speak again, so she just nodded. Lance turned and bolted from the room first, and she turned to follow. 

Lance was already leaping into the transport for the blue lion hangar by the time she reached the room, and she had to pause to compose herself for a moment as Hunk went by. He clapped her on the shoulder, gave a reassuring smile, and was down his own chute in just a few moments.

“Deep breaths,” she murmured to herself, looking toward her own departure gate. She fought the rising panic inside her, the worry that her family was in danger if they were still on planet Millerna, as she tried to calm herself. “Everything will be fine…”

“Pidge? You’re still here?” Shiro came into the room a moment later, likely after having a quick word with Allura. She hadn’t been expecting it and the smaller paladin jumped and turned to look at him, eyes wide. The anxiety rioting in her gut leapt to a new height. She still hadn’t apologized to him, but now there was more to it than that. 

Before she could completely stifle the mental image, she had imagined holding onto him, tightly, for just a few moments. She couldn’t help it—his hugs were soothing and warm and had been one of the few things that had been able to soothe her in the last few years. She tried to perish the thought, the burning  _ need _ for one of his hugs. She wasn’t bold enough to launch herself at him, not even with the  _ crush _ she was trying so hard to ignore. As she fought with the image in her mind, building up the wall to try to prevent it from traversing the paladin bond, she was taken completely by surprise when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

In a matter of seconds, she found herself right where she wanted to be, tucked tightly in the circle of Shiro’s arms. He held her just as tightly, or even more so, than he ever had before, and just as closely as she had imagined moments before.

“Sh-Shiro, what…?” she forced herself to begin, despite the way her arms moved to return the embrace, seemingly of their own accord.

In a soft voice, his breath ghosting across her ear, Shiro murmured, “Don’t be reckless, Katie. Be careful and stay safe.”

His tone sounded nearly as worried as she felt, and her heart pounded. She was making him worry about  _ her _ when they needed to focus on the mission at hand, and she knew she had to pull herself together. Not just for her own sanity, but for the team and the rescue attempt. She took a shaky breath and composed herself as well as she could. 

As she inwardly searched for some semblance of their normal relationship, even as she squeezed him more tightly, she finally found the strength to retort, “Right back atcha, Champion.”

It seemed as though this moment was suspended in time, as if there were no pressing matters to attend to because of these few precious seconds. It was just Shiro and his strong arms, sheltering her in his warm embrace. But no matter how much she wanted to stay as they were, time was scarce, and Pidge reluctantly pulled herself from his arms. The moment, so sweet while it had lasted, was over nearly as quickly as it had begun. 

With one last and admittedly  _ longing _ glance at the paladin of the black lion, Pidge turned to the pathway to her own green lion. As she jammed her helmet on, she tried to calm the beating of her heart at the look Shiro had given her just before she had turned away. It was a look that left her with promises of warmth and hope and a plea to come back safely, and it was those feelings she carried with her as she grasped the handles and set off towards her hangar.

Even as she prepared for flight, she could still feel the warmth of his arms around her.


	5. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro came to a halt with a sharp exhale as a figure came into view, placing a soft hand against the glass to peer at him, as though he might have been dreaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fairly quick update!
> 
> Fun fact about this one: I typed more than 5000 words of this 5700 word chapter today, in the last 12 hours. I was on a ROLL.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy the chapter! :)

 

As the green lion purred to life beneath her and around her, Pidge took a steadying breath and felt the determination, the adrenaline, pumping through her veins. She felt revitalized by the brief, comforting hug she had shared with Shiro, and she squared her shoulders as her seat slid into place in the cockpit. Her team leader was already concerned about her, and she didn’t want to give him any more reason to be.

“Ready to go?” she asked aloud, more to herself and her lion than her teammates, but she got an outpouring of responses.

“Let’s get this show on the road!” Lance whooped, so loudly that his voice crackled a little over their comm link.

“Ready! Well, I mean, mostly,” Hunk had responded immediately, and then had voiced his second thoughts. He still wasn’t used to flying, no matter how many years they’d been at it, and it was obvious.

“Let’s go, team,” Shiro’s voice was calm and collected—everything that Pidge admired and envied him for. But it was just the steady assurance she needed, and with one more breath, she was able to chime in her agreement with her fellow paladins as the green lion started to hum around her.

And then she found herself launched out into an endless expanse of stars and planets, and around her were three others. The yellow lion to her immediate left, the black to her immediate right, and on his other side, the blue lion, which was already starting to fly towards planet Millerna.

Pidge was quick to follow Lance’s lead, and Shiro fell into place beside her. Hunk trailed behind, but he was following. And then the four paladins were off, the impatient blue in the lead as they made up for lost time. She kept an eye on her systems and scanners, watching for a few places she had marked in advance.

When they reached the first note on her radar, Pidge spoke up, “It’s time to turn the cloaking devices on. We don’t want them to see us sneaking in the back while Keith is doing his best to distract them. We also need to angle our flight path slightly so that we do come up on the opposite side of the planet. In simple terms, for Lance, we need to angle the lions slightly to the right, and down. Just follow my lead.”

Lance let out an indignant shout, and Hunk laughed as Pidge took point and angled her lion. When the others had fallen in line, she reached out to flip the cloaking device on and watched as the others did the same in her sensors.

“Keep on this trajectory for about ten minutes, and then we’ll be at the back side of planet Millerna. Princess,” she waited for a response from the castle before continuing, “I’ll let you know when to have Coran send the pods, and to what locations, when we know for sure.”

“Understood,” Allura’s voice crackled over the comm link. “Stay safe, paladins.”

“Roger that!” Lance was enthusiastic, as always. “Who do you take me for? I’m not _Keith_!”

“I’m not deaf, _Squeak_ ,” Keith’s voice came across the link, and then he grunted. Pidge searched for his lion on her radar and found it pulling some tricky maneuvers around at least a dozen Galra fighters. “I’ll keep them occupied as long as I can, so just get in there!”

“Hey!” Lance balked at the nickname, but Pidge snorted.

“Enough,” Shiro’s voice broke through. “Focus on the mission, Lance. Keith, keep up the good work. Pidge and Hunk, let us know when to prepare for landing or to watch for Galra ships.”

“Gotcha,” she answered in unison with Hunk, and she continued to scan her maps and diagrams. She trusted her lion to take her where they needed to go, especially when she was already on the path. So Pidge could focus, instead, on surveying the area and calculating their time of arrival. Hunk was just as capable and she was sure he’d be doing the same thing in the yellow lion.

As the silence fell, with only an occasional exchange between Shiro and Allura to bring Pidge around, she started to think about her family again.

In her mind, she saw the proud grin her father used to wear when she had accomplished something new at school, or the way he would try to be stern when she and Matt argued. Commander Sam Holt was a gentle man, though, and it had usually fallen to his wife to calm their arguing children. With the memories flooding through her,  she pulled out the photograph she had carried with her all these years before she could stop herself. The same old picture of she and her brother, from just before he had left on the Kerberos mission.

When she looked at how happy they were, she missed those days. The days before the mission, the days before her life had turned upside down, the days when she could go home at night to a home-cooked meal and intelligent banter with her father and brother while her mother played mediator yet again. And, though it was the least consequential part of it all, when she looked at this picture, she missed her long hair.

She had never been one for vanity, and she constantly told Allura and even the others that short hair suited her just fine, but she did miss it. It just reminded her too much of what she had lost, and it would only be in her way out here.

 _Get yourself together_ , she scolded internally. _You’ve got to focus on the mission_.

Pidge tucked the picture away and quickly scanned her many screens, though a soft rumble from her lion assured her that all was still well. Absentmindedly, Pidge patted the dash and continued her own check anyway, despite her absolute trust in her lion. It never hurt to be extra cautious, after all, and if it could help save lives, she would do everything she could. She did a rough calculation and sat straighter in her seat.

“In approximately two minutes we can start to go up and around the planet to circle behind,” she relayed, tapping a few buttons to bring the flight path diagram closer to her. “Keith, how are you doing?”

“I’m...surviving,” the disgruntled paladin’s voice crackled across. He cursed a little but continued, “They’ve deployed another unit of fighters, so I’ve got over twenty to deal with. I don’t know how long I can keep them distracted before they realize that you guys are going in, so you’d better hurry up!”

Lance’s voice came through, a valiant attempt at his usual gusto, “C’mon, don’t let those measly numbers get you down. You gotta be able to take at _least_ that many to deserve the title of my Rival!”

Keith’s derisive snort crossed the channel. “Please, I could take twice as many as you with my eyes closed.”

He was confident enough to retort like that, so Pidge felt that he was doing okay. Aside from Shiro, Keith was the best at solo combat, whether in his lion or outside it, so he’d be fine. He might be the most reckless, but he also knew his limits and was a lot better at telling the team when he had reached them than he used to be.

“Focus, Lance,” Shiro’s calm voice cut across right as Lance made to retort again. “I’m getting a map of planet Millerna and the layout now, so let’s discuss how to split the groups…”

“I’m also getting the map,” Allura spoke up. “If you play to the strengths of the blue and yellow lions, sending Hunk to the quarry and Lance to the lake will be an ideal way to go. Shiro and Pidge, the two of you should stick together and infiltrate the barracks closest to the base to figure out whether they are prisoners or soldiers, and we’ll figure out the rest of our movements from there.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” Hunk agreed quickly. “Goldie had been suggesting that we go to the mine anyway, because it’s the farthest away and we’ve got the most armor. If we landed in trouble, we’d be able to take some hits before we were in any danger of breaking something serious. And people in mines seem to like us. I don’t really get why, but Goldie and I have always had good luck with people around rocks. So leave that one to us.”

 _Your lion is considered the guardian spirit of land, Hunk_ , Pidge thought to herself, _of course people stuck underground will trust you_.

“Lakeside vacay? Just the way I like it,” Lance joked, laughing. “I’m down with that.”

“Okay, Princess, we’ll do it your way,” Shiro agreed. “Hear that, Pidge? Stick with me. We’re going towards their base to check the barracks there.”

“Understood,” Pidge chimed, flipping through a few screens of calculations as she did so. “We’ll have to land a ways off, though, to prevent any of their tech from interfering with the cloaking devices and such. The base is set back into this cliff, though, so if we land just on the other side of this rock wall, we should be fine to go in. That gets us fairly close and keeps our lions out of direct sight, even if the cloaking were to fail.”

“Copy that.”

And moments later, they started circling around the planet, preparing for landing. Pidge took a deep breath, let herself picture her family as she remembered them one more time, and then pushed the thought to the back of her mind. Another deep breath, and the nervousness in her gut dulled as the adrenaline started to take over.

But...there was one more thing she wanted to say.

“Also, guys,” her voice cracked a little, and she cleared her throat to continue after a few sounds to indicate that they were listening. “If we find my family, don’t tell them who I am just yet. Worry about getting everyone out first, and then we’ll tell them when we get back to the castle. I don’t want them to worry about me when they need to worry about themselves and getting out of here safely.”

“Pidge…” it was Hunk’s voice, and she could hear the uncertainty in it.

“Are you sure?” Allura had been listening in, and her voice betrayed her own worry.

“Please. If they’re still here, I’m more concerned about getting them out safe than telling them who I am.”

There was a brief silence until Shiro’s gentle voice broke the silence.

“Understood, Katie,” his tone made her heart squeeze. She knew he was using her name to tell her that everything would be okay, and she appreciated it. “You heard her, paladins. Let Pidge tell them who she is when we get back to the Castle of Lions.”

“Roger,” Lance and Hunk replied in unison, and there was a grunt from Keith that they took to mean he had heard and agreed. And then it was time to finish the loop around the planet to find a place to land.

 _This is it_.

* * *

 

“Shiro,” she murmured, her voice all too loud in the silent entryway, “there’s a control panel here. If you can keep watch while I hack in, I can disrupt the feeds from all the barracks and reduce their surveillance…”

“Do it,” he stepped closer to her, peering both ways.

She stepped up and started the process, opening the hatch and attaching a wireless tap to the panel. She then produced her handheld device, typing as quickly as she could decipher the Galran text that went across her screen. It was in times like this that she was increasingly happy she’d gone through the trouble of studying the language.

In moments, she was in. A few minutes later, when Pidge found video of Lance sneaking to the lakeside camp, she erased all security feeds from the last ten minutes across the entire system. She shut down the security systems and did some extra damage to their cameras so they wouldn’t be able to fix them as quickly, and so they would be operating blindly. Anything that would help the paladins get _in_ and the refugees get _out_.

“I think I’ve done what I can,” she murmured, and then, “Allura, have Coran send some pods to the location of my lion, Hunk’s lion, and Lance’s lion.”

“Copy,” the princess was also speaking softly, caught up in the mood and the quiet urgency of the situation. “They’re already nearby, so I’ll have him send them in.

“Let’s move on if you’re done,” Shiro beckoned Pidge then, and she nodded.

The only sounds Pidge could hear as they started off again were their footsteps and breathing as she and Shiro crept down the hallway. The sounds seemed to echo back at them, and she could tell from the tense set of her captain’s shoulders that he was just as on edge as she was. It was unsettling when they were trying to be quiet and cautious, but there was nothing they could do about it.

And then, finally, they came to a door.

Shiro crept ahead, holding out a hand for her to pause, and straightened so he could peer through the high, barred window. His brow furrowed and he motioned for Pidge to come closer.

“They look like prisoners. Can you get the door to open?”

Pidge lifted her handheld and shook it before turning down to scan through some information. A few codes later and the door lit up, granting them entry to the room. As the door slid open, the inhabitants of the room huddled further into the corner, wide eyes peeking out at them.

“We’re here to help you,” Shiro said gently, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “We are paladins of Voltron—”

“— _Voltron_?”

He couldn’t finish, because the word sent a mutter through the room. One of the aliens crept nearer. It was a tall, slender creature, with large eyes and two ridges along each cheekbone. When it spoke, it was with a wise, aged tone, “Does it speak the truth? Are these ones truly paladins of Voltron, defender of the universe?”

“We are,” Shiro’s voice was calm, but quick. “I am Shiro, paladin of the black lion and the head of Voltron. This is Pidge, the paladin of the green lion and the left arm of Voltron. Please tell us, does this building house other prisoners, or are there soldiers?”

“All prisoners,” the thin alien answered. “Here and in the earth and at the water’s edge, all are prisoners of the Galra. Do these ones come to free us?”

“Pods are in position,” Allura’s voice relayed, softly and quickly, in the brief lull between the alien’s words and their answer. Pidge murmured an affirmative, to show that she had heard.

Pidge glanced down the hall as Shiro answered, “Yes, we do. We have come to search for some of our people and to set all of you free. Can you tell me, have you seen two men like us?”

“This one cannot say. There are so many, you see. So many others that are unfamiliar, that are not of this one’s kind. This one cannot tell them all apart.”

She tried to ignore the way her stomach twisted at his words, and she was more than happy that Shiro was doing all the talking. “That’s fine, thank you for your help. Please, hurry. We will take you to the escape pods and send you back to our allies in the Castle of Lions. Can you walk?”

A slow incline of its delicate head indicated that yes, they could walk, and it beckoned to its fellow captives. A strange language came from deep within its throat then, and the others followed suit, climbing to their feet and coming to stand behind the leader. Their wide eyes stared from Pidge to Shiro, filled with hope.

Determination built in her gut, and Pidge turned to Shiro.

“You keep searching and releasing more prisoners,” she told him. “When I did maintenance on your arm, I changed the signal up so the systems shouldn’t immediately recognize you, and now that I’m hacked into the system it will take even longer for it to reject you. You’ll be able to open doors with it, and I’ll take these guys to the pods.”

Shiro nodded, but lightly grasped her arm and cautioned, “Be careful, Pidge.”

She grinned back and asked, “Who do you take me for?” but when his expression didn’t change, guilt twisted her insides and she raised her opposite hand to cover his. Softly, she reassured him, “I’ll be fine.”

He gave a gentle squeeze and released her arm, and Pidge let her hand fall. She flashed Shiro another smile and then turned to the prisoners and motioned for them to follow her.

“Come with me. I’ll take you to the escape pods.”

With one last glance at Shiro as he helped usher the prisoners from their cell, reassuring them, Pidge turned to head back down the hall from the direction they had come. She heard the footsteps of her followers as she made her way back past the control panel and to the door, and then she peered cautiously out as she sensed her entourage slow to a halt behind her.

When she discerned that the coast was clear, she motioned for the others to follow her.

As quickly as she could get them to move, she ushered the prisoners through the shadows against the base and around the rock structure to where the pods waited, and then used her handheld to quickly locate the nearest cloaked pod. She quickly made the doors open with a few remote controls, a few swipes and a couple of codes, and stepped aside.

“There is a device that shields the escape pods from enemy eyes. The pods are also all connected, so everyone will enter through this door and can go through to other pods as more people are brought out. You should be safe inside, but we won’t launch until we have rescued as many prisoners as we can.”

“This is fine,” the outspoken alien reached out a hand and gently touched Pidge’s shoulder. “This one is content to wait, and trusts in the paladins of Voltron.”

“This one will come back to the entrance with the paladin, if this one is permitted,” another younger and taller individual stepped forward, a lighter trill in its voice that made Pidge suspect it was female. “This one can serve as a guide, so that the paladins of Voltron can operate more quickly.”

“I—” Pidge wanted to protest, but the leader of the small group nodded.

“This one permits it. Please accept the help of this child, paladin of Voltron. She is called Ullax, and is this one’s own child.”

Pidge bit her lip, still uncertain. Finally, she spoke to Ullax directly, “You’ll have to stay out of sight, in the shadow beside the door. I can’t guarantee that you will be safe, though. Are you still willing to risk your life for that?”

“This one is fully prepared to do so,” the younger alien inclined her delicate head. “If this one’s assistance can be used to aid the paladins of Voltron in the brave quest that has been undertaken, this one will gladly offer it.”

“Then let’s go.”

The slender alien nodded and Pidge turned to lead the way back, staying out of open areas as much as possible. When she reached the door, she indicated a corner for Ullax to hide in, and extricated a promise that she would stay hidden until Pidge or Shiro returned with another group of prisoners to lead to the pods. And once that promise was exchanged, the petite woman slipped back into the halls of the base.

“Shiro, a young alien named Ullax insisted on helping us,” she relayed quickly, “and the leader of that group, the one you spoke to, is her father. He approved and asked us to let her help, so she is waiting in the shadows just outside the front entrance to lead other prisoners to the pods.”

“I heard you trying to dissuade her,” Shiro’s voice came back over, that same soothing tone she had hoped to hear. “She’ll be fine, and it will help us move more quickly. Are you back in the building?”

“Yeah,” Pidge paused to look around a corner, continuing to speak softly as soon as she was assured that no enemies were in range, “I turned the opposite direction just inside the door this time, to help move more quickly.”

“Be careful,” she could only imagine the look on his face that matched his worried tone, and she wanted to see him to reassure him in person that she would be fine.

Instead, she had to resort to a paltry and inadequate, “I will.”

* * *

 

 _I will_.

Pidge’s assurance that she would be careful soothed his frazzled nerves somewhat, but Shiro couldn’t help but worry. He didn’t like being separated from her this close to the enemy base, despite the fact that they had established that this building housed prisoners instead of soldiers. There was still a very real possibility that they would run into Galran soldiers or drones somewhere inside, and he wanted to be by her side to help her out.

She would probably resent him a little if he said that, though, so he kept his mouth shut.

He continued down the hall until he came to another door, opening it in the way that Pidge had explained to him. It was the second since he had parted ways with her, but he had yet to lead a group out because they insisted that he release a few more rooms. In fact, one of the tiny aliens from his second room was leading him to other rooms. He had introduced himself as Bax, and had claimed some knowledge of the facility. When it proved at least remotely true, Shiro let him lead because it was quicker than stumbling around looking for other cells.

As they opened the third door that the little alien indicated, the creature piped up, “Hux!” and, at the name, another small alien stepped up. He continued, talking to Shiro, “Hux knows this building almost as well as I do, and can lead a group back to the entrance for you. There are a few strong ones among us, so a few patrol drones would be no problem for them, Paladin.”

“Are you sure?” Shiro asked, furrowing his brow. He might be worried for Pidge, but right now he needed to focus on getting these prisoners out of here, and this alien seemed to know how to do it. He didn’t want to put any of these innocent people in danger, but it would be best to get as many people out as quickly as possible, so he was willing to listen.

“We can handle ourselves,” one of the others spoke up. Shiro recognized her as a Balmeran, and wondered which Balmera colony she had been stolen from. She spoke differently than Shay and Rax and their people, so he could assume she wasn’t from that distant colony, but aside from that, she could be from anywhere. “My sisters and I have caused many a drone trouble before. That is why we are here.”

Another Balmeran flexed her fist, and the third nodded in acknowledgement.

“I can lead them,” Hux agreed, voice slightly rough from disuse. “It will be no problem.”

Shiro grimaced and glanced at the gathering of prisoners in the hallway. They would certainly have numbers on a normal patrol of drones, and the castle had healing pods that they would be able to use when they got back, but he still felt anxious about leaving them to go their own way in enemy territory. Quick was key now, though, and they did already have another prisoner on the outside to assist...so, despite his misgivings, the paladin exhaled softly.

“There is another prisoner by the name of Ullax waiting just outside the door to take you to the escape pods,” he relayed. “Proceed with caution, and come back here if there are too many enemies in your path. Understood?”

Hux inclined his head.

“We will do as you say,” he answered, then clapped the other tiny alien on the shoulder. “Good luck with your task, my brother.”

“And you with yours,” Bax bid farewell, and Shiro instructed the others to follow the small creature’s lead. They all seemed to trust the tiny brothers, which Shiro took as a good sign, though he was still reluctant to see them all walk away from him. However, before he could dwell on it for too much longer, Bax continued forward, “The next room is this way.”

At that moment, Pidge’s voice sounded through the communication links in their helmets.

“Guys, start being a little more cautious. They’ve realized that I’ve been jamming their signals and have started to work on resetting the security systems. According to my scanner, they should be up and running again in about ten minutes, so we have to get moving and fast.”

“Gotcha,” Lance’s voice came across quickly. Hunk’s acknowledgement quickly followed, and Shiro furrowed his brow once more as he voiced his own reply.

“Also, Shiro, your side of this building has the most prisoners,” she informed him, after a few spoken words with an unknown person. “There should be approximately sixty in this building, and I’ve taken six out to the pods and have four with me now. They tell me that there are only three more rooms on this side of the facility, and all the others are on your end.”

“I’ve sent about fifteen towards the pods,” Shiro responded, adding quickly in his head. “That means there are about thirty-five more prisoners in the building, so let’s find them as quickly as possible.”

“Roger that,” Pidge agreed quickly, and then started speaking with one of the prisoners she had just freed once more. Shiro belatedly realized that she was speaking in an entirely different language and found a few seconds to be amazed at her incredible genius. No matter what he did, he was never quite prepared for the sheer number of surprises that the petite woman had up her sleeves.

“This door,” Bax interrupted Shiro’s thoughts, and he came around to open the door quickly, counting roughly six figures inside through the window. His mental math cut down the approximate number of prisoners they had to find to twenty-nine. Bax spoke quickly with the prisoners, explaining what was happening before Shiro could gather himself enough to speak to them.

“ _Voltron_?” as Bax introduced Shiro as a paladin of Voltron, the familiar awed, questioning tone arose from the group.

“I am the paladin of the black lion,” Shiro found himself inclining his head to this new group of prisoners. “My name is Shiro, and my team and I have come to help you escape from here.”

It never seemed to change. Whenever they came to liberate a Galran prison camp, these same almost _rehearsed_ lines found their way into existence. Every time, he felt like he was regurgitating those lame lines from old alien films back home, only in this situation _he_ was the alien. He might as well be saying, _I am Shiro from planet Earth. Please do not be afraid. I come in peace_.

“Paladin, the next room is just down the hall,” Bax cut across the chatter of the other prisoners. “We are now in a hurry, yes?”

“You’re right,” Shiro nodded, striding forward. “We can discuss Voltron and everything else later, but for now, we need to keep moving.”

As he spoke, the paladin glanced at the new group of prisoners following him. The were surprised, but he saw the hopeful looks a few of them shared, and it solidified his determination. They would get everyone out, and they would make it back to the Castle of Lions. And he’d be _damned_ if he didn’t find Sam and Matt while he was here.

Ten minutes later, though, a siren sounded.

“ _Shit_ ,” he heard Pidge curse over their headsets. “My tap has been compromised! They’re rebooting the systems right now, so we’ve got to move fast, Shiro! We don’t have much more time before they block your arm from working. How many more rooms do you have that direction?”

“How many more, Bax?”

“Only one more, at the end of this hall and down the stairs,” Bax wheezed a little, and Shiro glanced between the tiny alien and the other fretting prisoners behind them. Making a quick decision, Shiro paused.

“How many among this group can fight?” he asked Bax, and the small creature looked surprised before scanning the group.

“Six are able fighters, and a few others can defend themselves. We are kept near the base because we have caused riots in the outer camps, after all.”

This was news to Shiro, but he held the surprise in. He glanced at the group of roughly twenty prisoners, and then back to Bax. His decision mostly made, he asked, “Pidge, do you read me?”

“Shiro? Is something wrong?” she was slightly breathless, and he fought down the twinge of worry.

“I need to know if there are any drones or soldiers in the facility yet. Can you access the cameras still?”

“Just barely, give me a few—there! I have...six drones in the entire facility, but they’re all on the lower floors currently. There are more on the way, though. Please tell me you’re not going to do anything super reckless, Shiro, there’s no time—”

“I’m sending a group to the front doors, then. Bax says there’s one more room on this side, and it’s on the lower levels. I’m sending them to the pods so I can keep going myself,” Shiro saw Bax’s eyes widen in realization. “I wanted to make sure they wouldn’t run into interference on the way.”

“Shiro, it’s dangerous—”

“—it’s nothing I can’t handle, Pidge. You said there were only six so far. I can get in and get out pretty quickly,” Shiro cut across her warning, even though he had been cautioning her the entire mission. She sighed, though, and he knew she understood.

“Send them this way. I’m on my way to the entrance, and I’ll make sure they get out.”

“Roger,” Shiro felt his shoulders loosen in relief, and after a pause turned to Bax. “You heard what I told her. I want you to lead the way to the facility’s entrance. My fellow paladin should be there waiting for you, and she’ll see you to the escape pods. Make haste, because the Galra are aware of our movements. You should be fine for now, though, if you move quickly.”

Bax bowed at the waist, and several of the others followed as he said, in a deep and reverent tone, “Thank you, Paladin. We will do as you say, but please do not stay much longer yourself.”

“I’ll be fine,” Shiro smiled at him, “Thanks.”

Before any of his rescued party could respond, Shiro turned on his heel and took off down the hall at a run, toward the stairs that Bax had indicated a few minutes previously. He heard the tiny alien start ushering the others in the opposite direction, and tried to calm his racing heartbeat. They were so close to being done, to freeing everyone in the building, and he wouldn’t rest until they had succeeded. Even if he had to break the last door down by hand, without the ability that Pidge had granted him with her hack, he would do it.

He bounded down the stairs three at a time, stumbling slightly on the landing as he turned right, as Bax had instructed before the alarms had started blaring, and ran until he came upon a door. He glanced in the window and found an office, so he kept moving, though more slowly, so he could glance in every window.

He came to a place where four halls intersected and cursed softly before turning right again and breaking into a run. It was a long empty hallway, and Shiro started to fear that he had made the wrong decision when he saw a dim light ahead. The hall opened up and there were two cells with floor to ceiling glass panes in a sickening Galran violet.

Shiro came to a halt with a sharp exhale as a figure came into view, placing a soft hand against the glass to peer at him, as though he might have been dreaming.

“Shiro? Shiro, is something wrong?!” Pidge’s voice snapped him out of it, and he turned to the control on the wall next to him, placing his hand against it with his heart racing. And, miraculously, he heard the doors shifting open behind him and he spun to face the final prisoners.

“It can’t be…” the first one breathed, slowly stepping over the threshold of his cell. The older prisoner exhaled slowly as he pulled himself to his feet, off the cot he’d been sitting on.

“ _They’re here_ ,” he managed to breathe, though he thought he might choke. “Pidge, I’ve got them.”

For a moment, he heard her suck in a breath, and then she asked quickly, “Where are you and how many of them? I’ll come help you, Shiro, just tell me where you are!”

“Pidge—” Hunk started, but Shiro cut him off.

“Not the Galra, Pidge.”

As Matt Holt rushed to his father’s side and Shiro stepped forward to meet the two of them, he heard Katie Holt’s voice hitch on the other end of the line.

“ _Dad? Matt?_ ”

“I’ve got them,” Shiro repeated. “They’re safe. _They’re here_.”


	6. Triumph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing would keep her from protecting them, not now that she had finally seen them alive and well for the first time in five years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fairly quick chapter! This chapter is fast-paced, and I was super excited about it, so that's why it came so quickly. It's also a bit shorter than some of the others, so that's probably another factor.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

 

“ _I’ve got them. They’re safe. They’re here_.”

Pidge nearly stumbled and fell at the emotions that surged through her. The weight of her relief was almost crushing, threatening to pull her to the ground and keep her there, unable to move. After so many years, years of watching this planet drift farther away or grow slowly closer on her radar, she had finally made it, and her family was _still here_. She should have come even sooner, to free them from their prison, but she had been too afraid.

Now, she wasn’t afraid. She felt the happiness within her, bubbling up so strongly that she didn’t realize she’d _forgotten_ how to be truly happy until this moment. But she knew she had more pressing matters to deal with at the moment, and despite the warmth flooding through her veins, she focused on the task at hand. Pushing her hopes, her relief, her happiness to the side, she forged onwards, guiding her group of rescued prisoners back to the front entrance.

She could hear her pulse pounding in her ears as she heard murmured words and muffled sounds. Shiro was talking to them—Shiro was talking to _her family_. Matt’s soft voice—because even though it had been so long, she still recognized her brother’s way of speaking—came through, but she only caught the garbled, occasional word. And then her father’s voice joined, a questioning tone that Shiro deflected with a certain sense of urgency in his own voice.

And then she remembered that they were on the lower floors...where she had found the Galran drones in her scan of the facility. Her stomach lurched and Pidge had to fight the nearly overwhelming urge to turn and run to find them.

“Sh-Shiro,” she managed to speak, though she felt as though her throat would constrict at any second with the way her mind kept spinning around her hopes and also her fears, “Shiro, make sure to get them out, okay?”

 _Tell them I love them_ didn’t sound right, and saying _thank you_ was just too hard right now.

“You don’t even have to ask,” Shiro replied, and she felt the relief flood through her. Shiro had her complete trust, and hearing the confident answer was more than enough to assure her that he would do absolutely everything in his power to make sure her family made it out. Just the sound of his voice soothed her, and she was able to gather her wits enough to focus on the group she was currently with.

Footsteps sounded as they rounded the final corner, and Pidge quickly stepped to the front of the group, bayard ready and poised to strike, before she saw that it was just another group of prisoners.

“Paladin!” the leader, an alien that only reached to her hips in height, inclined his head. “You are the one that the paladin in black said to meet here, yes?”

“That’s me,” Pidge answered quickly, jogging to meet the group with her own behind her. “I’m sure he also mentioned Ullax, who is helping us?”

“I have heard this, yes,” he nodded.

“I want all of you,” she stood as tall as she could to address the group around her, “to follow behind the one called Ullax. She knows the way to our escape pods and will take you there, and she should be just outside this door. I will bring up the rear and make sure you arrive safely. Am I understood?”

She switched briefly to another tongue to explain the same thing to those who didn’t understand English. She was only thankful that they happened to speak one of the four alien languages she felt fairly confident in, because if she had needed to try her hand at one of the others, Pidge was sure she’d accidentally insult someone.

When the three nodded, Pidge stepped to the door to peer outside and then called softly, “Ullax?”

“This one hears,” a soft voice answered, creeping slowly from the shadows near the door. “Alarms are going off, and this one is concerned. This one has seen a few of the Galra’s flying ships around…”

“We’ll be fine,” the petite woman found herself assuring the taller alien. “Ullax, this is the last group I will ask you to lead. I will follow behind, so please move as quickly as possible.”

“This one understands,” she inclined her head and raised a three-fingered hand to gesture to the group behind Pidge. “Please follow. This one knows the way.”

Pidge stood aside as the group filed out, some with more anxiety than others, and crept along the walls. She noted that some seemed to have a strange chameleon ability, their skin changing slowly with the color of the ground beneath their feet, which would help if one of the Galra ships spotted them from above.

Once the last prisoner was out, Pidge slipped behind and ushered them forward, more alert than ever. They were so close to freeing so many people, and she couldn’t afford even one mistake now. She was ready to warn her group to run if she happened to see a cruiser spot them, and she was more than poised to take action, even without her lion, if these people were threatened. The paladins had trained for this, after all.

The front of the train of escapees rounded the cliff, where they would start boarding the cloaked escape pods. Pidge cast her eyes forward, and then swept back towards the base...where she saw a new pod launching. It was a fighter, and she cursed. There was no way it would miss them, even if they were in the shadow of the rock.

“Move!” she called to the front, where Ullax and her father were ushering their fellows into the pods. There were about a dozen prisoners that still had yet to board, and they started at Pidge’s words. “Hurry!”

Just as she waved her arms, she heard the lasers hitting the rock wall behind where she had just been standing, and she cursed again.

“Pidge! Pidge, are you okay?” several voices called out to her as she pulled out her bayard and turned to keep an eye on the fighter.

“We’ve got a few Galra ships out here,” she responded, mostly to Shiro, “so be careful!”

She activated her shield and used her jetpacks to hover above the fleeing aliens, catching several solid shots and deflecting them. With a few taps on the handheld device at her belt, she expanded her armor’s shield to three times its normal size. As she did so, she grit her teeth and glanced over her shoulder as the older alien, Ullax’s father, was the last to duck inside the pod. While she was turned away, another solid strike struck her shield, and she cursed again.

“Pidge, I’m on my way!” Hunk’s voice came. “While you were hacked in, I managed to find a map and made sure to hit all the rooms here. I had to rush a few people into my lion, too, so we need to get out of here.”

“Shiro!” Pidge called, grunting as she deflected another strike from the cloaked pods, “You heard him, right? I’m going to send our pods with him, so you’re going to have to take Dad and Matt on your lion, okay?!”

“Why don’t you—” Shiro started, but Pidge grunted and felt her back hit the top of the pods as she took another shot to her shield. He was going to suggest that she took her family in her own lion, and she would absolutely love to, but a part of her was still afraid of them finding out who she was before they reached the palace.

“The black lion has more armor,” she managed, propelling herself away from the pods beneath her and taking her bayard firmly in hand once more. The crackling electricity arced along its edge, and she gripped it even more tightly. “And it’s also larger than the green. It’s safer to take them with you, especially if we’re going to be pursued.”

She could tell that Shiro wanted to argue, but Allura’s voice cut in, “She’s right. Do it Pidge’s way. Hunk, you’ll tether the pods to the yellow lion and pull them back with you. I’ll open a wormhole for you as soon as you’re ready to take off.”

“We can’t keep it open for long so everyone will have to be ready when you do open it, princess!” Keith’s voice came across, along with a grunt of effort. Pidge heard the explosion and then saw the light from it in the distance as he cut through three of the Galran fighters that had been attacking. “I can see a ship coming closer, and there are more fighters launching from it!”

Allura cursed, which was a rather rare occurrence, and then she started talking to Coran in muffled tones.

About then, the fighter that Pidge had been dealing with disappeared with a swipe of a giant mechanical paw, and Hunk landed. The yellow lion puffed up in pride, but quickly settled as Hunk slipped out to start linking the pods.

“Well, let me know when, because I’m starting to hook up the pods now,” Hunk said, rushing to find the tether Pidge had designed, pulling it from a panel on the yellow lion’s flank. “It should be about two minutes, and I’d rather not have to deal with any of these damn Galran ships, so just keep ‘em off us until then, Pidge.”

“Nah, I got that!” another voice interjected, and the blue lion hovered above them. “Pidge, go help Shiro and make sure they all get out!”

“Copy,” Pidge acknowledged Lance’s suggestion and turned to jet back towards the base. Shiro was silent, only the faint sounds of his breathing and their footsteps echoing in the metal hallways coming through, and she couldn’t decide whether that was a good or a bad sign.

Nearing the facility, she dropped to her feet, switching her jets off as she continued towards the doors at a run. When she neared the entrance to the barracks, however, it opened and she couldn’t help but stumble. She kind of regretted hitting the ground just a few steps before, because she hadn’t been entirely prepared to her family appear before her so suddenly. “Sh-Shiro!” she managed, regaining her balance.

“Pidge…” he started, and then stopped, and she saw his eyes flick to her father and brother. She shook her head quickly, almost as a warning to him, and motioned for them to go by.

“We’ll figure everything out later,” she told him, leaving no room for arguments. “First, you need to get to the lions! Hunk’s already secured the pods, so D—Commander Holt and Matt will have to go in the cockpit of the black lion with you. I’m sure you already heard as much?”

Shiro’s expression was conflicted, as if he wanted her to tell them who she was at that precise moment, but he slowly exhaled and nodded. He lightly clapped her on the shoulder and squeezed momentarily before he answered, “Yeah, got it. Cover us, will you?”

He was trusting her, and showing how much faith he had in them. The smallest paladin couldn’t fully contain the pleased feeling that welled up and she was sure it leaked across the paladin bond, but then she smirked and quipped, “Of course I will! Just get to the lions safely.”

“Roger that,” Shiro grinned, and then motioned for her family to follow.

Before he passed her, Matt lightly touched her arm, and her heart stopped. And then he grinned at her, though some sort of recognition flashed across his features before he shook himself and said, “Thank you.”

She couldn’t form a verbal response because her throat was so tight, but she nodded quickly, turning her head away as if she was watching for enemies. Matt’s hand fell from her arm and she heard him turn to follow Shiro and her father, and her resolve settled once more.

 _Nothing_ would keep her from protecting them, not now that she had finally seen them alive and well for the first time in five years. They were skinny, too skinny, but they were on their feet and they had been speaking to Shiro, so she knew they still had at least part of their wits about them. For now, until they got back to the Castle of Lions, that knowledge would be enough.

And just then, as Shiro started to lead the way to his lion, the door slid open again.

The drones she had spotted earlier on her scan of the building had finally caught up to them, and she saw them taking aim at the escaping prisoners— _at Matt_.

“Watch out!” she called, diving behind him while shoving him towards Shiro. She pulled her shield up to deflect the shots from the Galran drones, but not quite fast enough to block all the rounds. One laser took her in the shoulder, and Pidge hissed with pain, but she heard Shiro urging her father and brother to move more quickly, so with bayard in hand she charged towards the robots.

“Be careful, Pidge!” she heard Shiro call even as she diverted another laser from her adversaries’ guns. Pidge grunted in response, because she was already upon them.

She slammed into the first, her shield between them as the drone fired a few useless shots that ricocheted back at its feet, and she jammed her bayard under its arm, where one of its many weak spots resided, and felt the electric pulse she transmitted as the machinery crumpled at her feet. She tucked into a roll then as the remaining drones, five of them, shot at their fallen comrade—or, rather, at _her_ , but she had already moved.

From behind the others, she used her bayard to lasso three of the drones together, delivering a hefty shock through the binding in order to override their power supplies. Before she could disengage, she had to use her shield to deflect shots from the two remaining drones. She dashed forward in a momentary lull in their firing to slam her bayard forcefully into the neck of one of the drones, and spun in a low kick to take the legs out from under the final drone. Its gun skittered away and she dropped a knee on its chest, driving her bayard into its armpit, almost like she had done with the first one.

“Pidge, we’re getting into the lion. Hurry back!” Shiro ordered, and with one last glance at the decimated machinery she was leaving behind, a brief wish to pick them over for scrap parts dashed, she started her jetpacks and headed towards her cloaked lion. She heard Matt’s voice, just faintly, and Shiro gave a soft reply. Her heart thudded in her chest, and she  could scarcely contain herself.

“Copy that!” she called to Shiro, rounding the corner as she saw the black lion’s mouth close. Beside it, the green lion shimmered into view.

“That Galra ship is getting too close for comfort, guys!” Keith warned, and the red lion flew by overhead. Pidge grimaced at the new dents and scrapes she could see on Red’s exterior, but then she spotted the ship Keith had warned them about and cursed. She wasn’t the only one. And then Keith added, “It’s too close, and it brought company.”

Bearing down on planet Millerna was a small fleet of Galra ships.

“Well, it sure looks like they called for backup,” Lance joked weakly, but she could hear how tense he was just by the sound of his voice. It wouldn’t have been Lance if he didn’t, though, and he forged onwards with, “I guess we didn’t get the memo, eh?”

The rest of the team remained silent, and the green lion lifted its head at its paladin’s approach. Pidge turned off her jets right above her lion’s mouth, and it snapped her out of the air with practiced ease.

Hunk mumbled, “Pidge, I wish you’d stop doing that!” even as she settled into her seat.

“Allura, we’re all ready!” Shiro’s voice was quick. “Open the wormhole! Hunk, you first, with all the pods you have. Lance, you’re after him, since you have some pods, too!”

“Got it!” Hunk was quick to agree, the yellow lion springing into the air and wheeling around as a glowing circle of Altean tech lit up not too far away.

“Shiro, go!” Keith urged, “You need to go, too, because you’ve got the Holts with you! They should be your top priority right now, so get them to safety. Pidge and I can handle this!”

Pidge appreciated Keith’s words—these were the same people he had once yelled at her over, when she had tried to leave the team in order to find them and save them. But now, after all the years they had spent together and after learning what _family_ meant through being a paladin of Voltron, she could hear the fierce understanding in his voice. Pidge was part of his space family, and by extension, those who were important to her were also important to everyone else.

She could tell, however, that Shiro didn’t want to agree with him. He preferred being the last one out, because that way he could watch over all the others. However, he also knew that he wuldn’t be able to dissuade Keith once he had decided on a course of action. Instead, in typical Shiro fashion, he cautioned them instead, “You’ve got the least armor, so be careful!”

The paladin of the red lion just laughed in return, a cocky sort of sound that made Pidge snort. She was no less determined, though, and with a well-timed blast, she took out six fighter ships at once, before they could chase after Lance and Hunk. Shiro lifted off the ground then, and Pidge zipped up into the air quickly after.

“That’s what our agility is for, Captain,” she tossed at him, rolling away from a laser sent towards her. “We may not have the strongest or most armored lions, but that’s why we make up for it with our speed!”

Lance snorted and chipped in, “Yeah, but Blue is still the best. Aren’t you, girl?”

He laughed as the warmth of his bond with blue fluctuated across the paladin bond. Pidge grinned to herself and gave her dash a loving pat. The lion around her rumbled with affection, and she once more dodged a Galra attack.

“Pidge, we gave them a headstart,” Keith’s voice came in, “we should follow them now!”

“Gotcha!” the paladin of the green lion wheeled around and joined the red lion, both of them blasting back towards the Galran ships in pursuit before turning to follow the rest of Team Voltron. They closed the gap to Shiro fairly quickly, partially due to their lions’ increased speed but also, Pidge suspected, because he had still dared to hang back a little.

Pidge grunted a little when a few shots clanged against her lion’s flank and jostled her in the cockpit, but the green lion quickly stabilized and continued. She dismissed the worried questions from her team easily and watched as Hunk and Lance disappeared into the wormhole. Keith had now overtaken Shiro and was entering.

Warmth filled her. They were practically home already.

Shiro crossed over the threshold of the wormhole, and Pidge reached it not long after he did. A glance in her sensors showed that they had nearly a fleet of Galran ships behind them, but as soon as she was through the wormhole, any ships that had been inside when Allura closed it would be scattered to the winds...as everyone knew from first hand experience, though they didn’t particularly like to talk about it.

Pidge reached the wormhole next, and entered easily. The pull of the warp took hold and she grinned to herself—until her warning blared and a force brought her to a screeching halt. At the whiplash, her breath rushed from her lungs as her harness cut across her chest. Reaching out, fingers flying across her controls, she finally got vision on the problem, and grit her teeth.

Her right rear leg had a glowing purple tether, and when her eyes followed it she found that it trailed all the way to the main ship of the fleet behind them. In fact, it was connected directly to the part of the ship that would usually house the ion cannon, so she could only surmise that the Galra had concocted some sort of new weapon to combat Voltron and its paladins.

Whereas an ion cannon into the wormhole could disrupt it, as they had all experienced firsthand and agreed to avoid if at all possible in the future, a tether on a lion could... _oh no_. Pidge’s chest constricted and her blood ran cold as she realized the ramifications of this new device.

The Galra were using her lion to _pull themselves through the wormhole_. Which could only mean a handful of things, but the first being that their target was the Castle of Lions.

Using Pidge, and their tether, they were heading directly for the base of Team Voltron.

Pidge smashed a button that would silence her microphone for a few moments and let out a steady string of curses. The wormhole’s pull had her in its grasp once again, and she was slowly being pulled inside. She had cut her own thrusters when she realized what was happening just seconds before, but the pull from the Altean tech was too strong, and not even the added mass of the Galra ship could break its hold.

“Think, Pidge, _think_ ,” she told herself, monitoring her sensors. Shiro was halfway through to the other side of the wormhole, and moving quickly, so she only had to stall for a little while.

 _But how could she get out of this_?

It hit her then, and with a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach, Pidge realized exactly what her best option was.

A few seconds later, after furiously typing in several codes in quick succession on her dash, Pidge had opened a direct link and reactivated her microphone.

“Princess,” she said, her tone sharp.

“Pidge!” the voice on the other side was unmistakably Allura. “Why have you turned off your thrusters? Your progress through the wormhole will only be a quarter of the usual speed—”

“Allura, I need you to listen to me.”

The Altean princess stopped speaking and there was a long pause before she asked, “What’s wrong? Your tone is extremely dark, Pidge. Has your lion malfunctioned? Have your thrusters failed and left you stuck in the wormhole?”

The paladin clenched her eyes and took a deep breath before answering. And then she spoke, as calmly as she could, “The Galra have a new weapon. It’s some kind of tether, Allura. And right now, the main ship of the backup fleet that came after us is tethered to the back leg of my lion.”

“ _What?!_ ” Allura’s incredulous tone, and her pitch, made the younger girl wince. “Wait, why isn’t anyone else speaking? What do you all think of this?!”

“They can’t hear us, princess. I hacked in with a direct communication link so I could talk to you alone.”

“Why would you do that?! Keith! I need to send Keith back to help you—”

Pidge groaned. She had known this would happen, but she couldn’t afford for the princess to be stubborn right now. She quickly regained herself and cut across in a tone much harsher than usual, “Allura, _no_. Listen to me, and listen closely. I turned off my own thrusters when I realized that the Galra are using this tether to enter the wormhole. The Altean tech’s warp is too strong for them to pull me out of it, but it also means that I could pull them directly through to the Castle of Lions. With the force of the wormhole all around me, I can’t maneuver into a position to get rid of the tether.”

“I don’t think I like what you’re saying, Pidge,” she said, slowly and with a tone that proved that the princess has suspicions.

“If you close the wormhole while I’m inside it, the odds are that it will break the tether and separate me from the Galra.”

The Altean woman gasped. And then Pidge heard her scrambling for something, anything to say. At last, the princess managed, “I thought we agreed that we wouldn’t be split up like that again?!”

“Our priority is keeping the prisoners safe! We can’t do that if I drag an entire Galra fleet back to the castle. You’ll have to close the wormhole while I’m still inside, princess! And right now, their fighters are almost here, so we need to do it as soon as Shiro breaks free!”

“Pidge, there’s no guarantee—!” Allura tried, desperate for Pidge to understand. “What if you still have Galra with you? We can’t predict where you’ll go or if any of the enemy will go there with you! We can’t even guarantee that you’ll get out of it in one piece this time! It’s far too risky!”

“Allura, as long as I don’t have to deal with the entire fleet, _I’ll be fine!_ ” Pidge nearly roared through their private comm link. “I can deal with some of them on my own, but I can’t deal with all of them! And I told you, the prisoners are our top priority right now. I can’t let these ships come through. Hunk and Shiro both have people in the cockpits with them, so it’s also too dangerous to form Voltron, and you know it! You’ll have to close the wormhole!”

“I—”

The princess’s words were lost when Pidge’s sensors started screeching. A glance showed that something was heading her way, and then the projectile collided with the left flank of her lion.

With a loud screech of metal on metal, Pidge felt herself roughly tossed around. She let out a shout as her harness bit harshly into her shoulders, unable to bite back the cry, and suddenly several voices were calling out to her. With a curse, she realized that her direct link to the princess had been broken by the impact. But she also noticed that Shiro had just broken free of the wormhole, and she set her jaw.

“ _Allura, do it now!_ ” she nearly shouted, and in the few brief seconds before she heard the princess’s small scream of frustration, she organized her thoughts.

“Pidge, you have to come back!”

“I will!” she responded, and then, as the integrity of the wormhole started to crumble around her, she added, “Shiro...keep them safe.”

Silently she added a belated, _thank you_.

Pidge heard the team’s mixed shouts of confusion, questions about what exactly was happening, but more than anything, over the noise, she heard her father’s voice over Shiro’s microphone asking what was wrong, and Shiro answering, in a tight voice, bordering on frantic, that he didn’t know. Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest, and she reached to place a hand over it, as if to soothe herself.

She closed her eyes against the blinding flash as the force of the wormhole bursting tossed her around. The last thing she heard before her consciousness faded was the heartrending sound of Shiro crying out her name.

“ _KATIE!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...don't hate me too much, 'kay?


	7. Helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her face swam before his eyes. Her smile, the sparkle in her eyes, the laughter, the nervousness leading up to this rescue mission...everything. The fleeting glimpses of something he kept seeing through the paladin bond they shared—things that she kept hiding before he could get the full picture, before too much could show through. But they were things that he had already seen, things that he recognized from his own thoughts and suppressed feelings. Things he wanted so badly that he almost didn’t believe it when he realized the thoughts and images were coming from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE'S CHAPTER 7
> 
> AND IT WAS REALLY HARD TO FINISH WITH ERIN WHISPERING LIKE A SERIAL KILLER IN MY EAR FOR AN HOUR AT 1AM

 

“ _KATIE!_ ”

The minute her name left his lips, in tandem with the other pilots’ shouts of “Pidge!”, he felt his heart clench painfully in his chest. He slammed his hand down on his dash, the black lion’s attempt at calming him falling abysmally short.

Shiro couldn’t think straight. Everything was a rush of sound and color and _memories_ and his throat was constricting and he was shaking and _he couldn’t even hear her breathing anymore_. He couldn’t tell if he was furious or terrified, or if he could possibly be a combination of the two. All he knew was that Katie Holt was _gone_ , cast off somewhere in the vast universe or _worse_ , and he couldn’t get to her.

 _I can’t get to her_.

Something rose to his throat, and for a moment he thought he was going to choke.

“Allura,” he forced out, and then he grit his teeth and his tone was more clipped, harsh, when he demanded, “Allura, _what did you do_? Why did you close the wormhole?!”

“Shiro—” she began, but he would have none of it.

“How are we going to find her?” he was trembling. From head to toe, Shiro was a trembling mass of...was it anger or was it fear? He certainly couldn’t separate them. Her face swam through his mind and his voice raised as he repeated, “ _How are we going to find her_? We have no idea where the wormhole will spit her out!”

 _Where_ , because he wouldn’t— _couldn’t_ —think of the alternatives. It was too much.

He _couldn’t_.

“She—”

“Why didn’t you ask us? We’re a _team_ , Allura, so why didn’t you send someone to check on her? Why didn’t you make sure she was clear?” his demands were becoming even more frantic as the Castle of Lions drew nearer. “Why did—” he paused as his treacherous thoughts whispered, _she tell you to ‘do it now’?_

Allura’s voice was quick when he had paused, as if she was afraid he’d stop her again...which, given his current mood, was very likely.

“Pidge opened a private comm link and asked me to close the wormhole,” the princess informed him, her voice clipped. She sounded almost like she wanted to cry.

“But... _why_?” Shiro’s voice broke. It broke and there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

 _I can’t get to her_.

Her face swam before his eyes. Her smile, the sparkle in her eyes, the laughter, the nervousness leading up to this rescue mission...everything. His thoughts were all Pidge and all Katie and listening to her excited discourse on some sort of new alien tech they had encountered or watching her face light up when she saw a new gadget. The nights he roamed the halls, unable to sleep for the nightmares, only to find the light to her workshop on and find her either clicking away at her keyboard or tinkering with a new device or slumped over a project, sound asleep. The nights he had carried her back to her room after finding her somewhere in the castle, sound asleep, and tucked her into her bed, only taking a moment to slide her shoes and socks off before pulling up her cover.

The fleeting glimpses of _something_ he kept seeing through the paladin bond they shared—things that she kept hiding before he could get the full picture, before too much could show through. But they were things that he had already seen, things that he recognized from his own thoughts and suppressed feelings. Things he wanted so badly that he almost didn’t believe it when he realized the thoughts and images were coming from her.

Her warmth when he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tightly against his chest and begging her to be careful, to _stay safe_.

 _I can’t get to her_.

“Allura…” the black lion had landed in the midst of the remaining three. “ _Why_?”

“Please…” she whispered, “I’ll tell everyone soon. But first we should help our new guests.”

 _The prisoners_ , he realized, and sucked in a breath. And then, suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder and he jerked around, eyes wide when he remembered exactly who had been in the cockpit with him.

Commander Holt’s eyes were inquisitive, intelligent ones, and Shiro could see the gears turning beneath the calm face he wore. He suspected...maybe he _knew_. And all because Shiro had broken the promise to her and had used her real name. Matt looked almost like he’d been punched, and Shiro wasn’t quite sure that the full implications had hit the younger Holt yet. The name, he’d recognized, but Katie was a common name, and he looked so conflicted.

 _It’s all my fault_.

“What’s happening, Shiro?” Commander Holt asked gently, though Shiro detected a slight edge to his voice. Maybe he was imagining it, or maybe it was there, but Commander Holt squeezed his shoulder gently. “Your...friend. What’s happened to her?”

“She…” he swallowed, the excuses scattering in his mind. He wanted to tell them, but Katie— _Pidge_ —had asked the team to wait until _everyone_ was back safely. _She wasn’t back yet_. He faltered before finally answering, “She’s been separated. We don’t know all the details yet,” he took a deep breath and finally, his voice stopped shaking. “Right now, our priority is making sure all of the people we’ve rescued are taken care of.”

And then Shiro had to get to his feet, as if he was perfectly fine and capable of functioning like a team leader and defender of the universe, in order to lead the way out of his lion with the Holts in tow.

Her smile flashed through his mind and Shiro clenched his jaw, momentarily squeezing his eyes shut against the images.

 _I can’t get to her_.

A deep breath, and he opened his eyes and continued forward, as if nothing had happened. But he could feel it like a plague within his very being, as dead weight filled his existence to make up for every thought he had of her. Each step he took was like another step away from Pidge, another step on the path to forgetting how slender and soft she felt, tucked safely in the cage of his arms and hidden from the world.

Every second he drew breath without her by his side felt like another piece of his soul crumbling to dust.

* * *

 

At first, Shiro had been furious at the news that Allura had to share. After all his warnings, his _pleas_ for Pidge to be safe and be careful and come back, she had been the one to decide all on her own that the wormhole had needed closed. She had refused Allura’s idea of sending Keith back through to help, and she had purposely bypassed all team communication to appeal directly to the princess herself. And while he hated to admit it, it was probably because Allura was the most objective out of everyone, aside from Pidge herself. The princess would see the youngest paladin’s reasoning more clearly than anyone else.

But the fact that she had effectively _sacrificed_ herself for everyone had only rubbed more salt in the wound.

Shiro knew, in hindsight, that he was being foolish and that Katie— _Pidge_ , he forcefully reminded himself—had made the right decision. She had been able to make a calm judgment and a levelheaded decision, which was more than he could say for himself in the last few hours. The only way for him to describe himself was as a complete and utter _mess_. And, from the way he had reacted when interrogating the distraught princess, the feelings he’d been doing his best to hide were probably out in the open.

It had been six hours since they had returned to the castle now. Four hours since they had figured out the rotation order for the refugees that needed time in the infirmary’s healing pods and settled everyone into rooms of their own. Sam and Matt Holt were placed in the same wing as the paladins because there weren’t many more rooms to be had elsewhere in the castle...and because Allura, even if she wouldn’t say it, wanted them close to Pidge’s room and probably the first humans they’d seen in five years.

It had been three hours since Allura had replayed her entire conversation with Pidge for the paladins to hear, and three hours since Shiro had felt the last dregs of resolve fade away.

 _She promised she’d be fine_ , his mind taunted him.

 _I can’t get to her_.

 _It’s all my fault_.

Shiro let out a shout and punched the bag in front of him. The Altean tech holding it in place whirred and creaked from the force, but he scarcely paid it any heed. He had been on the training deck for two hours, ever since the meeting and Allura’s explanations had finished, and all he could do was curse himself and punch things. It wasn’t very productive, and it didn’t even make him feel any better, so he wondered at times why he was still here.

When Sam and Matt Holt came to find him, he realized that he had only been waiting for them.

“Shiro…?” Commander Holt asked softly as they stepped into the room, and the paladin grunted to show he’d heard. At the time, he was leaning his forehead heavily against the punching bag, trying and failing to push the cocky, confident voice of hers out of his mind, out of his ears, just _out_.

He was failing, and all he could hear was that same promising, _“I will_ ,” replaying over and over again.

“You don’t look too good, Shiro,” the commander’s voice was calming, gentle...but all Shiro heard were accusations. Hidden inflections in his tone, the future insults that would be cast at him when the older man found out that his only daughter was lost somewhere in the universe in the middle of a _war_. “Why don’t you take a seat?”

“I can’t,” he found himself speaking, weakly punching at the bag before him. “ _I can’t_.”

“Is this about your friend?” Matt’s voice spoke up, tentatively. “The one in green, who helped us out. The one that’s not here. Have you been able to locate him yet?”

“ _Her_ ,” Shiro was quick to correct him, and then straightened and socked the device before him with more strength. “The paladin of the green lion, and the left arm of Voltron. It’s a _her_. And we have no idea where she is yet.”

There was a pensive silence until Commander Holt suggested, “There’s a lot of ground to cover, but I’m sure she’ll be back fairly soon. The one in yellow, I believe his name is Hunk, told me that she promised she’d find her way back, so you shouldn’t worry too much.”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Shiro grunted, jabbing forward again. He couldn’t just stop worrying about her, not when his mind was filled with thoughts of her.

The older man sighed. Shiro heard it, and it made his stomach clench. He knew that Commander Holt suspected _something_ , so when was the man going to just come out with it? He’d _heard_ the way Shiro had called the paladin of the green lion _Katie_ , and even if Matt seemed willing to push the thought aside, dismissing it as just some sort of delusion because he missed his sister, no doubt, Commander Holt wasn’t that kind of man. Even after years of captivity, just from his tones and the vivacity in his eyes, Shiro knew that he his mind was still just as sharp as ever.

And then finally he spoke, asking softly, “What is it that everyone is hiding from us about her?”

Shiro’s next punch stopped short, and he finally turned to look at where Commander Holt stood, ten feet away and examining him closely. Matt was examining some of the drones that Pidge had reprogrammed, over against the wall, but had perked up when his father asked.

“What do you mean?” he knew he had to tell them, but he wanted to know how all the others had danced around the point. They were all abysmal liars, so their excuses had probably only created more doubts and curiosities than answers. And besides, not a single one of them knew the Holts nearly as well as he did, or as well as he used to know them.

Matt had been his best friend, and he didn’t know how he’d be able to take being hated by him.

 _I can’t get to her_.

Shiro grit his teeth against the memories, against the idea of being shunned by two of the men he had been closest to in the past. But...it was his fault. He deserved the blame...he would _deserve_ their hatred. His fists tightened.

“Please don’t trifle with me, Shiro,” the older man looked more weary than the former pilot had ever seen him. “Some of the excuses they’ve used to get away when I have asked about her have been positively ludicrous—” Shiro winced, but he couldn’t say he hadn’t called it, “—and I haven’t forgotten what you called her.”

Shiro dropped his arms limply to his sides and had to avert his gaze for a few moments.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I couldn’t keep her safe. I warned her to be careful, and she said she would. I…”

“Why are you apologizing…?” Matt asked slowly, his tone calculating as he stepped up next to his father. He was starting to realize that there was something more to the situation than just a missing woman in space. Shiro could hear it in his tone.

“Because it’s my fault,” he found himself answering. He finally looked up at them, standing side by side once more, and continued, his voice growing stronger but also just a tiny bit more desperate, “First, I couldn’t protect the two of you from the Galra, and then I escaped alone and failed to bring help back. And then, when we finally found you, I couldn’t protect _her_. And she’d been tracking your location for more than four years, since we took out Sendak’s ship the very first time we formed Voltron. Just a few days ago, I promised that we’d find you, if you were on planet Millerna, and that we’d bring you back if we could. And now you’re here...but she’s _not_.”

 _Blame me_ , he seemed to be screaming.

 _I can’t get to her_.

“That’s not your fault, Shiro,” the commander was ever the tone of reason. It was one of the many things that Shiro had always admired about him, but right now it felt like a curse. His chest was tight, his lungs screaming for air that he wouldn’t breathe in, and his mind was full of her.

Her smile, her laugh. The words, _I will_ , replaying like a mantra. And then the words, _keep them safe_ , echoing at him from the deepest caverns of his mind. With a curse, he looked down at his clenched, shaking fists and he _knew_. Despite the fallout, despite everything, they had to know now, and he had to be the one to tell them. Aside from Pidge herself, Shiro was the _only_ one that had the right to tell them.

“Why don’t you blame me, Commander?” his voice shook, and he raised his head to meet the older man’s gaze. “You know. You know who she is, and you’re still not blaming me because I couldn’t protect her.”

“Shiro, you’re speaking in riddles,” Matt sounded exasperated. “Why would we blame you?”

“Matt…” Sam put a soft hand on his son’s shoulder, as if  he was preparing to tell the younger man his hunch, but Shiro shook his head at him and he stopped speaking.

The grimace on the older man’s face spoke volumes. He knew exactly what Shiro wanted— _the blame_. And they both knew that Matt was a very protective older brother, and Shiro’s best chance at getting what he thought was his due. And aside from that, he had to say it. The words were his to speak, more than anyone else inside the Castle of Lions. The Holts had to know, directly from Shiro’s lips, who the paladin of the green lion was.

“Matt,” he breathed slowly, trying to unclench his jaw. “The paladin of the green lion, the left arm of Voltron...is your sister, Katie.”

There was a very pregnant pause as the information finally settled into place. At first, Matt looked completely stunned, as if he couldn’t possibly accept the fact that his darling baby sister was fighting a galactic war of epic proportions. But then a look of recognition dawned, and he breathed, “I thought she looked familiar…but the damn _helmet_ …”

And then the surprise hardened and he looked up at Shiro.

“You _knew_?” he demanded, and Commander Holt reached forward to take his son’s arm. Matt pulled from his father’s grasp and stepped towards Shiro. “You knew it was her, and you still let her do something so dangerous?”

“I didn’t _let_ her,” Shiro protested weakly. “We were _chosen_ for this.”

“You could have still kept her from danger!” Matt’s voice rose. “You could have tried to keep her back, to keep her safe. Didn’t we always tell you, Shiro? That my little sister was our family’s pride and joy?! That she was _everything_ to us? _And you let her slip away_!”

“ _Matt_!” Sam snapped at his son, but the younger Holt didn’t stop advancing toward Shiro.

“Why was everyone hiding it from us, even when we got back to the castle? If _everyone_ knew, why didn’t someone _tell us_ that it was Katie?! Why did they have to come up with the ridiculous nickname _Pidge_? Is it too much trouble to tell us that we were rescued only to lose one of our family members?” Matt was upon Shiro now, and he was practically yelling by this point. And then he added, fiercely, _“Why didn’t you tell us_?”

“She asked us not to,” Shiro kept his voice as controlled as he could, but there was a waver in it, a catch that he couldn’t completely cover up.

With a furious shout and a quick movement that caught the paladin off guard, Matt Holt’s knuckles collided with Shiro’s jaw.

Staggering backwards a few steps and reaching a hand up, struggling to make sense of things, Shiro managed to grunt, “I deserved that.”

“Damn straight,” Matt seethed even as Commander Holt pulled him back a few steps with a few words of scolding. “You’re lucky that I trust you, Shiro, otherwise I wouldn’t let you off with just that.”

 _I trust you_.

Shiro blinked in confusion and looked up at him. There was annoyance in Matt’s eyes, a certain anger and a burning fire, but he saw no hatred. What he saw there was determination that perfectly matched the molten amber eyes he couldn’t get out of his head.

“...Matt?”

“You’ll find her,” Matt’s voice was tight, but he was no longer yelling. His shouts had brought Coran and Lance to the door, wide-eyed and worried. Coran held out his arm to keep Lance from barrelling into the room, and Shiro was thankful for that. “I know you’ll find her, because I’ve seen the way you’ve been acting ever since we got back. And while we still need to have some _words_ about that, I’m going to keep trusting you, Shiro.”

It had only been hours. Hours since he had brought the two missing Holts safely aboard the Castle of Lions. It had been hours since she had disappeared, and they still trusted him enough to believe that he would _find her_.

It had only been a few hours, and already the feelings he’d been hiding for just over a year had been seen through. His frantic scramble to _know_ where she was, _how_ she was, his distress over the fact that she was no longer by his side...it had compounded until concealing it had no longer been possible.

 _I trust you_.

“I don’t…” he choked, but broke off in confusion. He really didn’t understand how he still had their trust. He didn’t _deserve_ it, after everything he had failed to do. Shiro didn’t know how it was possible for someone to have so much faith in him. But, as he rubbed his jaw, straightening to his full height, Matt gave him a tense, sheepish grin and answered that question for him.

“You are my best friend, after all.”

Shiro stared at him for a few moments, and then, as if some invisible weight had been lifted from his shoulder, he felt all the tension drain from his body.

Even after everything they had been through, everything that must have happened while they were apart, Matt still had faith in Shiro. He still valued their friendship, the camaraderie they had shared both in the Garrison and on the Kerberos Mission, and it made the pilot feel weak in the knees.

Matt stepped forward then, holding out his hand.

The paladin was uncertain at first, but when he glanced into his old friend’s eyes, he closed the space between them and took the offering. Matt grinned and pulled Shiro in to clap him on the back, and Shiro did the same, a small smile of his own gracing his lips.

“It’s good to have you back, Matt,” Shiro managed softly.

“It’s good to see you’re doing well,” the scrawny male acknowledged dryly, then laughed. “You haven’t changed a bit, have you, buddy? Always working out, always taking charge. And…” Matt paused for a minute, as if thinking about what he wanted to say, and then said, “...always trying to take the blame.”

 _It’s all my fault_ , his treacherous mind hissed again, but it was fainter than before. It was as if being close to the Holts, to being _forgiven_ despite all he’d done, was blocking the voices out. And he felt more at ease, despite everything. And the change in his expression from that realization must have been something that Commander Holt noticed, because when Shiro opened his mouth to respond, the older man stepped up.

Placing a hand on each younger man’s shoulders, he smiled and declared, “You both are very impressive young men, you know. And I’m happy to see you both here, right now, away from the hands of the Galra.”

“Commander Holt—” Shiro began, but quieted when Sam lightly squeezed his shoulders.

“This is some interesting tech here, and in those lions,” he said, grinning. A devious, calculating light shined in his eyes when he added, “and I’m sure there are a few interesting tracking devices to be had, hmm? Katie must have been tinkering somewhere. Why don’t you take us to her workshop? We might be able to figure some things out.”

 _We might be able to help find her faster_.

“Of course,” Shiro answered nearly immediately as the three men separated. And with a quick gesture that meant _follow me_ , the two Holts followed him off of the training deck.

* * *

 

“... _fascinating_ ,” Matt was murmuring to his father about some Altean gadget that he had found whilst rummaging through the shelves in Pidge’s workshop. Shiro watched as Sam messed with Pidge’s computer after having Coran assist him in changing it from Altean to English, and he was already getting the hang of a system that even Hunk had struggled with at first. “This Altean tech is so advanced...and it’s _ten thousand years old_?”

Commander Holt’s response was soft enough that Shiro, who had just been helping the two men find things they asked for, hadn’t heard it. He was still there since he knew Pidge’s workshop fairly well from all the times he’d had to drag her to bed in the last several years, but he was starting to get anxious. Allura had yet to find the green lion and its paladin, even with the way her life force was connected to it, though Coran did explain that the connection could have been weakened by the strong bond between lion and paladin.

She’d still be able to find the lion, but it might take time.

Shiro—and both of the men from the Holt family—had declared that they might not _have_ that much time. The universe was vast, and in unknown parts, Pidge could be in danger.

Lost in his thoughts, he almost didn’t notice when Matt went to put the gadget back on the hovercart he’d grabbed it from. He did notice, however, when Sam sprang back, surprised, as a holographic map spread across the wall in front of him.

It still had the markers on planet Millerna, and that was the first thing that drew Shiro’s eyes, and when he stepped up to put a gentle hand on Sam’s shoulder. When the paladin had stepped up, he watched as the older man reached out, as if he could touch the flickering hologram in front of him. It was the evidence of his daughter’s search, of how long she had been trying to find them, and Shiro could see the pained pinch in the older man’s brow.

 _I can’t get to her_ , his mind whispered as his eyes searched the endless map in front of him.

But...his fingers tightened on the commander’s shoulder and he assured him, with mounting determination, “We’ll find her.”

Matt’s hand rested on his father’s older shoulder, and he agreed with Shiro.

Sam Holt, however, pulled his hand back and chuckled. When he turned to look at both of the younger men, he said, “Of course we’ll find her. She found us, so we have to return the favor, after all. And in the meantime…” he looked at Shiro, and the paladin felt like he was suddenly twenty-four and flying to Kerberos again when his commander teased, “...Shiro can tell us all about these feelings he’s been hiding.”

Shiro’s hand fell from the older man’s shoulder as Matt let out a bark of laughter and turned to look at him.

“Yeah, Dad, I think that’s a _great_ idea.”

Feeling rather small in the face of the two Holts, despite being taller and broader than either, he stepped back. In a nearly petulant tone, he muttered, “Some best friend _you_ are.”

Both of them started to laugh, and Matt clapped Shiro on the back.

They weren’t okay—they wouldn’t be okay until Katie Holt was back in their midst, safe and sound—but Shiro was so relieved to see them smiling that he could almost forgive their heckling. But his neck was growing uncomfortably warm, and Matt’s face softened.

“C’mon, Shiro,” Matt’s tone was gentle, understanding, and he was only teasing halfheartedly when he finished, “after the way you reacted earlier, we can all see that she’s at least as important to you as she is to us.”

Shiro opened his mouth, though he wasn’t entirely sure what he was about to say, and then closed it again after a moment.

He knew what he felt, that was true. He knew that she was his best friend’s younger sister. He knew that she was the daughter of his respected superior. But...it was something he had been hiding because he knew she had a _goal_ , and it was best to focus on their duty. Katie had things she wanted to accomplish, and he was content to wait for their job to be done.

Or...so he had thought.

But when she wasn’t at his side...when he couldn’t watch over her, or see her, or hear her laugh, he was _lost_. When he knew that she wasn’t just a few doors away like usual, when he knew he couldn’t find her if he walked to her workshop, he felt so empty. It was in the same way he’d felt when he was a prisoner, away from home, and the same way he’d felt when he had been separated from Sam and Matt Holt all those years before, but there was more to it.

There was a pulling at his heartstrings that he hadn’t felt, an overlying ache that made being without _her_ so much worse than any other torment he’d been through.

And he hadn’t forgotten the way he’d acted after losing her. The way he’d lashed out immediately, the sheer panic and fear that had risen and constricted his throat, the horror that filled him at the thought that _he couldn’t get to her_. The fact that he was so far away, and that he had absolutely no idea where she was, terrified him. Just thinking about the fact that she could be injured somewhere, and alone, nearly made him return to the same shaking mess that he’d been right after Allura had replayed her conversation with Katie right before she was cast off into the vast unknown.

“I…” he found his voice without even intending to speak, and as he clenched his fists at his side, nervously, he finally admitted to the floor, “ _I can’t live without her_.”


	8. Repairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge could take care of herself, of course, and her lion was excellent company, but it was unnerving being alone out here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy. Did you miss me?  
> Probably not, but never fear, I'm back anyway to bombard you with more LAF and such. I'll take a brief break after this chapter, to work on a few other things (helping edit a friend's master's dissertation, drawing the [Sailor Paladins](http://panda013.tumblr.com/post/149338262865/im-serious-i-swear-i-create-quality-content), writing an angsty Klance fic, etc), but I should be back by this time next week for chapter 9, if all goes well.
> 
> Anyway, here's chapter 8! Hope you guys enjoy :)

 

_Don’t be reckless, Katie. Be careful and stay safe._

The thought was warm. The words were gentle, worried, but the feeling with them made her feel as if she was surrounded by something strong and comforting, almost like an embrace. It sounded distant, though, almost like some sort of far off memory.

_Be careful, Pidge._

These words held a small hint of warning, the edge of a plea, but they still made her warm inside. Someone was worried enough about her to care if she was safe, to caution her, and she was so very thankful for it.

_Be careful._

Worried. The thought was clearer than those previous, and these words came through as more worried than before. She started to feel a little nervous, just a bit unsure. Yes, it was nice to have someone worry about her, and there was still some warmth from that thought alone, but she didn’t like for people to sound so scared when they did. It wasn’t like she’d voluntarily get into trouble, after all.

_I’ve got them. They’re safe. They’re here._

These words made a strange elation well up within her. She had no idea why, but knowing that _they_ , whatever _they_ were, had been safe and sound had made her so relieved she could have collapsed.

_Be careful, Pidge!_

That again? Her weary mind struggled, but she identified that there was more urgency this time, and she wondered if she was in trouble. But she also felt a strange sense of determination, the urge to _protect_ , and she knew that she would be alright. She only wished she could reassure the voice of that, so he would stop sounding as though his world was crumbling right before his eyes. She wanted to promise him that she’d be fine, but she didn’t know how to find the words to explain it to him.

_KATIE!_

With a startled shout, her eyes shot open and she lurched forward. Pidge tumbled to the floor with a curse, pain flaring up in her shoulders and in her chest as the memories came flooding back to her. Her helmet hit the ground and rolled away, stopping halfway across the cockpit.

She remembered the wormhole dispersing, the whirl of light and color as she was ejected somewhere else, probably far away from her destination, and the heartrending cry that had been the last thing she’d heard before her headset communication link crackled into nothingness. Her chest squeezed painfully and she rested her forehead on the cool metal of the cockpit floor, furrowing her brow against the aching in her body and in her mind.

“ _Shiro_ ,” his name slipped out unbidden, a pathetic whimper. “I’m so sorry…”

Sorry for making him sound like that, as if a piece of him had been torn away. And he was probably blaming himself, wondering if there was anything he could have done even when there wasn’t. She remembered making her decision so she could save her team and not only them, but...Matt’s face flashed through her mind, and she _remembered_.

 _Her family_.

Her family was alive. Her father and her brother were _safe_ , and had to have made it back to the castle with Shiro. At least her family would be safe with him, but knowing the team leader’s sense of duty, she suspected that they already knew who she was. She had no way of knowing for sure, of course, but it was a gut feeling. She’d learned to trust those, and considering the way that Shiro had called her name, it wasn’t too hard to assume that they knew.

The bottom of her stomach dropped out at the possible implications of that.

 _Are they blaming Shiro?_ she asked herself, horrified. _Are they blaming the team? The princess? No...it’s not their fault. It was my decision, I’m the one who chose to let go so everyone would be safe. Please...Dad, Matt, please don’t blame anyone else._

A slow rumble, a tug in the back of her mind, alerted her to her lion’s attempt to comfort her, to ask if she was okay.

If Pidge was perfectly honest with herself, she wasn’t okay.

Regardless, she pushed herself into a sitting position, groaning at the effort, and reached to pat the dash. Her chest gave a throbbing ache and her knee gave a sharp pain but she bit her lip, dismissing the pain to focus on her lion. The soft whirring of Greenie trying to comfort her made her smile a little, and after sitting there for a few moments, she knew she’d have to start assessing the damage.

Pidge didn’t know where she was or how badly Greenie had taken the crash landing. She assumed it had been a crash landing, at any rate, because she could feel it in her bruises and scrapes and in her _bones_. Everything ached in a way that was similar to the first time this had happened, and she remembered how she’d never wanted to feel this again. With a wry laugh, she noted that it’s always the situations you’d least like to relive that end up coming back to you.

Only this time, instead of watching her family disappear, they had to watch her disappear.

“Don’t think about that right now,” she hissed to herself, and she found her voice was much raspier than she’d expected. But...in hindsight, she wasn’t surprised. She’d done a lot of yelling, and she had no idea how long she’d been out for. She had to get up and assess the damage before she could figure that out. She’d also have to see how her emergency store of food goo and medical supplies were holding up, because she’d probably be needing both before she was able to get back to the Castle of Lions.

She took a deep breath, in preparation to pull herself up, and slumped back to the floor for a moment, stars dancing across her vision. Her chest...her chest was screaming in pain, and breathing was suddenly a lot harder.

How had she been breathing so easily before? How had she not noticed whatever _this_ was?

 _Fractured ribs_ , her mind supplied readily. It wasn’t like it was the first time she’d had them, but the delayed pain was new. It hit her like a trainwreck, and she tried not to panic. Panic wouldn’t help—it would just make everything worse. She tried to calm herself by adding, _or bruised ribs._

Last time she’d been hurt like this, though, she’d had help nearby. She’d been wheezing over the headset, not entirely certain that she’d actually been able to form the words. But Lance and Hunk had been the first to find her, clinging to a wall in the compound they’d just stormed and clutching at her chest, and they’d managed to relay the situation and get her out. The healing pod she stepped into shortly after had been a saving grace after the awkward ordeal of having Allura help her into the jumpsuit they used while trying not to put any strain on her ribs.

The memory of the healing pod slowly easing the tension from her body somehow made the pain in her chest easier to bear, and breathing became easier. She could only take shallow breaths and sometimes even those pained her, but she grit her teeth. Pidge pushed herself up and tried to focus on the tasks at hand. First things first, somewhere there was a medical kit and in that medkit there was an Altean painkiller of some sort that she’d have to take her chances on. Especially if she was going to tackle the repairs she was starting to realize were necessary.

Her cockpit was a mess. Her displays were all flickering or down, and the normal steady hum of machinery was an erratic pattern of thumps and whirrs. A few dials had been dislodged and were scattered across the floor, and she grimaced. She had some spare parts and pieces stashed away for cases similar to this, but she had to see how _those_ had survived the crash landing first. Pidge would have to make do with what she had and salvage what she could, she was sure.

“We’ll get through this, Greenie,” she said softly, the comforting rumble of her lion weakly reverberating around her. She continued speaking mostly to comfort herself, to pump herself up. “We’ll get through this together, and we’ll get you ready to fly. I’ll get our systems back online and get the maps working and then we’ll find out where we are. When I do that, we can finally figure out how far away everyone else is and make our way back to them. I made a promise, after all.”

She felt the lion’s approval and sighed, lightly rubbing a circle on the floor of the cockpit. She preferred giving comforting pats via the dash and control panel, but she knew her lion understood her intentions no matter where she did it. And in her brief convulsion over her chest pain, she’d somehow ended with the control panels behind her, so the floor was a simpler choice.

Steeling herself, Pidge decided it was time to get up. She reached for the arm of her pilot’s chair and her right knee locked in place in front of her with a shooting pain.

 _Oh, please, nothing else, not on top of the ribs_ , she found herself pleading internally, but she dropped her outstretched hand down to poke and prod around her knee. Before her fingers had actually made contact, she could see the chip on her knee armor, and cursed internally. And when her digits probed lightly around it, she yanked her hand away and leaned her head back against the dash, whimpering a little. Her quick movement sent a throbbing ache through her torso, and Pidge squeezed her eyes closed.

She felt the concern that Greenie was sending her way, asking how she was doing through their bond.

“I’ve been better,” Pidge responded, not willing to move yet.

She needed to. She knew she needed to get up and get the painkillers and tend to what wounds she could tend to, but she wasn’t sure she could stand on that knee. And, if she was painfully honest, Pidge wasn’t sure she wanted to find out.

One thing Pidge prided herself on, however, was doing what needed to be done when it needed to be done, and she took a few short, shaky breaths before sliding carefully nearer to the pilot’s seat and firmly gripping it with both hands. A few more preparatory breaths, and she was hauling herself up, carefully avoiding putting her weight on her right leg until she was fully upright.

 _One thing at a time_ , she told herself bitterly. _Stand up, then test your weight on your knee, and then see if you can make it to the supply closet. If you can make it that far, find out where those painkillers are, and then take some, and then grab the medkit. Make it back to the pilot’s seat and figure out how to bandage things up. From there, you’ll have to start checking Greenie for damage and see what it will take to reboot the systems. And see what kind of planet this is and if it has a breathable atmosphere or not. If it doesn’t, you’ll have to make sure there aren’t any leaks in Greenie’s armor or that the oxygen converter is still fully functional._

Pidge slowly organized the checklist in her head, breathing as evenly as she could. And then she slowly started to put pressure on her leg.

At first, the pain was dull, a throb that she figured she could get used to. But it took only a tiny bit more pressure for Pidge to shout and nearly topple over again.

“ _Fuck me_ ,” she hissed, releasing a steady stream of curses under her breath. But, injuries or no, she knew she had to make it to that damn supply closet. The medical supplies she’d find there would come in handy, and there were also some spare changes of clothes in there. And, whether it would make her knee worse or not, she needed to be able to stand and walk and move to make repairs so she prepared to grit her teeth against the pain.

She couldn’t _wait_ to dig out those Altean painkillers.

Pidge put her weight back down on her leg, this time prepared for the pain. And it came just as it had the first time. Even biting her lip, a little whine escaped as she finally stood on both legs equally, releasing her hold on the pilot’s seat. And then she forced herself to stumble forward, noticing for the first time that the cockpit was at an angle. _That_ certainly didn’t help matters, but she pushed on, hand flailing for the wall when her knee nearly gave out.

By the time she had reached the doorway, she realized that she was sweating. And not only that, her body was trembling.

 _Shit. I probably have a fever or something_.

Shaking her head, the petite woman stumbled through the doorway and glanced either direction. Small bits of debris and dislodged paneling littered the small hall and she stifled a groan. Instead she worked her way along the wall to the door she wanted, the supply closet that was only ten feet away, and prayed that Greenie had enough control and power to open the door for her.

The relief that struck when the door opened before she reached it nearly sent her to the floor again.

“Thanks, Greenie,” she breathed, her breath choked and ragged. She needed to get one of her water pouches from the supply closet, too. And probably one of those portable tubes of food goo, since she had no idea how long it had been.

Pidge fumbled with a few things in the closet, all jumbled up and tossed about from the crash, and managed to find a water pouch first. Next, she found the medkit. It was a large box, so she popped it open and started to place some other items she’d need inside. The kit would be easier to carry than juggling fifty different pouches in her arms, after all. And once she had that, she sat the box outside the closet and started rifling through the mess of sheets and towels and clothes until she had an old baggy sweater and a pair of sweats in her hands. Those went over her shoulder, and then she stepped back, gritting her teeth as her knee protested and her torso gave her a brief pain, to pick up the medical supplies and head back toward the cockpit.

She heard the faint whirring sound as Greenie closed the supply closet door behind her, and she felt the gentle thoughts that the lion was trying to comfort her with. Pidge appreciated it.

On her way back to the cockpit, Pidge nearly lost her footing two more times, even though it was barely more than fifteen feet away. It was harder to catch herself without making the pain in her knee any worse, but finally she reached her destination. The pilot’s seat had been moved backwards, and Pidge mentally thanked her lion again, sagging into the chair nearly instantly. For a few moments she just sat there, head tossed back and her labored breathing making her chest ache. But she knew she couldn’t wait any longer for first aid—or those painkillers—and finally she started moving.

The first thing she had to do was figure out how to strip off her armor without making anything _worse_ , and pray that her ribs were only bruised.

* * *

 

Pidge was on her back under the dash, reconnecting wires and fixing what she could to get Greenie’s systems up and functional again.

The pain in her knee and in her torso convinced her that staying within the lion was perhaps her best option right now, and though she had seen a little of the planet she’d crashed on through the eyes of the green lion, she would feel much better once the systems were running and she could get a full scan of the area. She’d also be able to run a diagnostic test on the lion itself to see how much damage had been sustained.

As she worked, she mumbled to herself.

“The blue connector...careful with the... _quiznak_ , that doesn’t look good!” she prodded at a small cube. One side was flickering faintly, but the others were dark. And when she looked, the bottom of the tiny component had a blackened hole, as if one of the circuits had shorted out. It took her a few moments to figure it out, but then she realized what it was. “This is part of the cloaking mechanism,” she mused aloud, turning it to look more closely. “But it’s not one I installed...did a previous paladin figure out how to reverse engineer the maze, too?”

An affirmative rumble filled her.

“Huh,” Pidge let out a small, impressed noise. And then, grumpily, she remarked, “Well, I don’t know why Coran and Allura seemed so impressed if it’s been done before. Maybe I’ll take a closer look at this one sometime, see if there are any parts that will help perfect mine. Anyway…” the paladin patted the underside of the dash and carefully wormed her way out from under it. “That’s about all I can do for right now, at least here. I’ll have to go to the switchboard in the hall now. Sit tight, Greenie, and we’ll be up and running in no time!”

The lion believed her, she could tell. The warmth that filled her, and hopeful images of the castle in the distance, made Pidge smile.

Before she headed to the switchboard, she turned back to mess with some of her controls, examining how her progress was coming along. Several of her displays were working once again, and the greenery of her current planet flickered into view. She took a step back, surprised for a few moments, before grinning.

“Perfect,” she said to herself, nodding.

Pidge limped back to the hallway, trying to remember exactly where the panel she needed was. She was starting to be _really_ grateful to those ancient Alteans for their super-strength painkillers, because aside from a limp she couldn’t shake and some dull, throbbing aches, she wasn’t feeling her injuries at all. She knew she’d feel them _later_ , but as long as she had most of the repairs made before then, she’d deal with that when she got to it.

Her work in the cockpit had taken the better part of two hours, but a glance in the switchboard and she knew she’d be working at this for a while. And she’d probably need to find the cupboard she’d stashed some spare parts in, too, because there was a definite charred spot in the mass of wires that had presented itself when she’d opened the panel. She’d have to find out what had melted the sturdy Altean coating and fried at least three of the wires themselves, but her first priority was fixing the issue.

She hated the thought, but Pidge knew there were a few things she could temporarily bypass just to get the lion up and running again. As long as she got her diagnostic system running again, it would be able to alert her to dangers in her shoddy repairwork if it came to that while she was on her way back to the castle. She’d find a peaceful planet to land on and fix things better when and if those problems arose, but for now her sole mission was to just be functional.

First, she wanted her external sensors. They would tell her whether anything was approaching, whether the air on this planet was breathable, if there was anything edible nearby, and even if there was water. After that, she decided as she examined a frayed blue wire, she wanted her map. With her map, she’d be able to tell where she was and find out just how far away from the Dryden system she had been tossed. And if the map came back, she’d have the Altean time, so she could make a rough estimate of how long she had been unconscious and on her own. The last thing she decided was necessary was making sure that Greenie could fly. That would certainly make getting back to the castle easier, and if she happened to be out of Allura’s range somehow, flying nearer might help the princess find her.

And _boy_ , was she ready to be found.

Pidge could take care of herself, of course, and her lion was excellent company, but it was unnerving being alone out here. So she threw herself into repairs, working as quickly and as thoroughly as she was able, given her limited supplies and resources.

* * *

 

After a grand total of seven and a half hours, roughly, Pidge managed to get all of her necessary displays and systems functioning again. They weren’t at one hundred percent, of course, but there wasn’t much more she could do without time to heal and the proper parts and tools. That Altean medication was still dulling her pain enough for her to move, but she could tell that it wouldn’t be pretty when it wore off. She could already feel the ache growing in her sprained knee, and she didn’t want to think about the pain her ribs would be giving her after she’d worked on fixing the lion. She’d been as careful as she could, of course, but there was only so much she could do when there were things that _needed_ done.

As she sat in her pilot’s seat, booting everything up, the first thing she did was pull up the map and search for the Dryden system. When she realized that it was about as far away from her as Earth had been from planet Arus, she flinched. There was a chance that Allura couldn’t pick up her signal yet, especially since her link with the lions had slightly lessened as the bond with the paladins grew. Pidge would have to start flying that way and hope that she didn’t run into any significant Galra forces as she did so.

“That’s great,” she muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. “Just what I needed.”

With a sigh, she turned her attention back to the map, zooming in on her current location. It was a relatively peaceful sector, at least so far, so she wouldn’t have to worry too much for a little while yet. And—

Pidge froze, staring at the map, and then switched the labels from Altean to English just to make sure she wasn’t seeing things.

 _Earth_.

 _Home_.

It was only one sector away, in the opposite direction of the Dryden system. It was still blue, still no distress signals or signs of Galra attacks, and it was _so close_. A lump rose in her throat, and she leaned forward and started typing furiously on the computer keyboard she’d installed herself in the past several years.

She didn’t know what she was doing herself, not entirely, until she was bypassing a familiar firewall—still child’s play, even after all this time—and hacking into a database that her thirteen and fourteen year old self had known inside and out. And suspicions she’d tried to ignore for years were proven true as she found the classified file about a flying blue lion and the disappearance of three cadets, a former cadet, and the recently returned Takashi Shirogane.

_OFFICIAL STATEMENT: These three students were tempted by a previously expelled student and ran away from the Galaxy Garrison. We are using all available resources to find them and bring them home to their families as soon as possible._

Pidge bit her lip, hard. This was the lie they would have told her mother this time...if they had figured out that Pidge Gunderson was, in fact, Katie Holt. If they hadn’t, then eventually her mother would have approached them and revealed the ruse and demanded to know, and they would have told her then. And if that was the case, could they have detained her mother for endangering state and military secrets?

A few quick codes later, and Pidge was reassured.

Her mother hadn’t been arrested, hadn’t moved, since the rest of the Holt family had disappeared. The address on file remained the same, and while there was evidence that the Garrison had watched the household for a period of time, they’d eventually been convinced that Mrs. Holt was hiding nothing from them. This surveillance meant that, at some point, they had learned that Katie had managed to bypass their security yet again, and they suspected she had her mother’s help—which was true, though the older woman had been reluctant about it.

And then an idea started to take route. A clenching in her chest accompanied it, and she lifted her fingers from the keyboard, debating.

It was _so close_. She could...she could possibly drop by? She was injured, after all, and while the technology on Earth wasn’t nearly as advanced as the Altean lion around her, she could probably find some parts to help fix Greenie up a little better. And she could tell her mother that she was okay, that Dad and Matt were okay. For now, at least, so if she could just stand it a while longer, and maybe they’d bring them home—but no.

Pidge shook her head harshly, trying to banish the thought.

She _couldn’t_. No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t go out of her way to do that. For one, the Garrison would probably assume that the green lion was similar to the blue one, and they’d probably try to detain her like they had done Shiro. And her cloaking mechanism was absolutely fried, so getting back to the castle was going to be hard anyway if Allura couldn’t sense her and send a wormhole soon enough.

No matter how much she wanted her mother to know she and her father and her brother were still out there, she couldn’t go see her.

 _Mom_.

The burning in her eyes was almost too much to bear, and for a few moments Pidge sat there, pressing her palms to her eyes and trying not to cry. But she couldn’t hold it back anymore, not after everything she’d been through. She’d seen her father and brother _alive_ for the first time in years, she’d heard her brother’s voice, she’d basically sacrificed herself for her team. She had heard desperation in Shiro’s voice, which was rare aside from the times that his flashbacks or nightmares plagued him, and she had woken up in pain and alone to find out that she was so close to home for the first time in over four years.

It was surprising that she’d managed to stay composed _this_ long, all things considered.

Around her, the green lion rumbled affectionately, trying to provide what comfort she could with soothing images of green, green forests and blooming flowers. Pidge laughed a little, her hand instinctively reaching out to lightly rub the dash. Her eyes were burning, and she could feel tears streaking down her cheeks, but she couldn’t help it. A garbled sob forced itself up and she huddled in on herself, ignoring the dull ache in her chest.

She wanted her mother. She wanted her father and her brother. She wanted to be back at the Castle of Lions, working on Greenie’s repairs and making sure that Keith’s lion hadn’t taken too much damage in his scuffles. She wanted to be surrounded by her friends, and her family, and she wanted to help end this war so that they could go _home_. But...almost as much as she wanted her family, she wanted to be with _Shiro_.

He was the first person she’d remembered when she came to. His was the voice in her head, cautioning her to be careful and then crying out her name. Despite the fact that her family should have been first, as they had been for years, this time it was Shiro.

She already missed his warm voice, the gentle hand on her shoulder or the way he ruffled her hair. His hand on her back, propelling her to bed on the nights that she’d dozed off in some obscure part of the castle, or the gentle reprimands when he discovered she hadn’t slept at all. Maybe most of all, though, she missed the warmth of his arms wrapped around her, the feeling of being safe and protected and maybe just a little _loved_.

Her family loved her, and she loved them. She _knew_ that. But she also knew that Shiro meant as much to her as any of them, and no matter how many times she tried to fight it, the feeling never went away.

“I’m pathetic,” she sniffled to her lion with a dry laugh. Greenie tried to reassure her yet again, and the verdant green images made Pidge smile. “I’ll be fine. I just...I’m just a mess. It’s a lot to process.”

There was a gentle rumble, a soft mechanical purr that Pidge knew was another attempt to cheer her up. But then the images her lion was showing her shifted, and she realized that it was an idea that Greenie was trying to give her. From their bond, the lion pulled pictures of home, of Pidge’s mother, and then...of the phone?

“What do you…” she started to ask in confusion, before the displays shifted and started showing the various radio waves that reached from their location all the way into the next sector. All the way to _Earth_. And Pidge knew. She breathed softly, “You want me to call home.”

An affirmative rumble.

“You think it will work?” her throat tightened a little as she leaned forward again, scrubbing briefly at her tearstained cheeks. “Do you have the range to send a signal that far, even with the damage you’ve sustained?”

This time, Pidge felt a little indignation and she interpreted that as _of course I can!_

Pidge sniffled a little. She acknowledged that she might not stop being tearful for a while—especially if she was able to patch through to her mother—but she was going to try. She had to do this. Even...even if she didn’t make it home at the end of the war like she wanted to, she had to let her mother know that she had made it at least this long, and what she was fighting for. If she could do that, then it might not hurt as much.

Biting her lip, she set to work. And it took almost forty minutes before she heard the patchy, muffled ringing of a phone, a familiar sound that she hadn’t heard in years. She almost started crying again from just that, but she took a shaky breath and waited.

“ _You’ve reached the Holt Residence. We are out right now, but leave your name and a message after the beep._ ”

Pidge hurriedly reached forward to push a few buttons, and a robotic voice sounded, “ _Message time limit extended, Katie._ ”

An old hack she’d used to allow her to ramble in messages when she called home...and it still worked. She could ramble to her mother for longer now, if she needed to. And since she was the only one who ever used that trick, her mother would _know_. Her heart lodged in her throat and she laughed a little as finally, after what seemed like forever, the beep sounded.

“H-hey, Mom? It’s me. It’s Katie,” she started, unsure of how to proceed, but there was the feeling of warmth through her bond with Greenie, and she took a steadying breath. “I know it’s been a while and I know you want an explanation, but I’ll have to be really quick. Whatever the Garrison told you about us running away is a lie. I mean, we did leave, but it wasn’t entirely our fault. That came out wrong, _shit_ ,” she laughed a little, dryly. Her voice was shaking, but she cleared her throat.

“The day we disappeared, we had just helped rescue the pilot from the Kerberos mission. He had crashed near the Garrison, and was trying to warn them about an advanced alien race that was looking for a superweapon called Voltron, but they wouldn’t believe him. Not surprising, considering he was in a panic and he had an alien prosthetic arm and all. But anyway, we broke him out, my team and Keith, and then we found the first piece of the superweapon, Mom. It’s...hard to explain. But Lance...Lance has a bond with it, oh god this sounds so weird, Mom, I’m sorry, but basically, Lance is the pilot of a giant alien robot in the shape of a lion that happens to be the right leg of a giant robot named Voltron, and Hunk is the left leg, and I’m the left arm, and Keith is the right arm, and Shiro—Tak...Takashi Shirogane, the Kerberos pilot—is the head and captain,” she took a breath.

“Listen, I know how ridiculous this sounds right now, but we’ve been...fighting, for the last four years. We’ve been fighting an ancient alien empire known as the Galra in order to keep them from taking over the universe.” She couldn’t help but laugh a little, and that’s when she realized she was crying again. Pidge cleared her throat once more and continued, shakily, “Please, Mom, you have to believe me. I’m sending this message from just one system away...but I can’t come home. We just had another battle and I-I’ve been separated from the team, so I have to find them as soon as I can get my lion working. But I couldn’t...I couldn’t leave without trying to tell you what happened.”

One more breath. She had to wrap it up, and soon. Her timer was counting down and she had to finish the message.

“If you get a chance to talk to Lance’s family and Hunk’s family, can you...can you let them know? That Lance misses pizza on the pier, Veradera beach with his siblings on the weekends, and his mom’s hugs. H-Hunk misses cooking with his mom and talking crazy conspiracy theories with his dad. And I-I miss you. And I miss home,” she nearly choked, but she forced herself to continue. “And I’m sure Dad and Matt miss it, too. J-just before I got separated, we found them, Mom. We rescued them from a Galra prison camp, and Shiro got them out safe. S-so just...believe in us, okay? I’ll do everything I can t-to get them b-back home, okay, Mom?”

A soft beep sounded—her ten second warning. Trying to stop crying for long enough, she managed, “I-I miss you, Mom. I love you.”

The beep that signalled the end of her message sounded, and Pidge slumped back in her chair, another soft sob escaping her lips. But she had to start heading back to where the others were last, and soon, so she furiously wiped at her eyes and tried to convince her lion that she was okay. Greenie didn’t believe her, but she shifted and started to slowly stand anyway, turning her head in the direction of the Castle of Lions, and Pidge tried to compose herself.

Finally, after several long minutes, she hoarsely said, “Okay, Greenie, let’s go.”


	9. Location

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I have it,” she breathed, hope practically shining in her every expression. “It’s faint, but I have a connection with the green lion. Coran is setting the course for it as we speak.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 9! A bit slower than previous updates, and I'm sorry for that!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it! Feel free to drop me a comment/review - even if I don't always reply, I read and cherish every single one!

 

Despite the hard work of everyone within the Castle of Lions, Shiro had to acknowledge that they weren’t any closer to finding the missing paladin.

It had been three days since they had lost contact with Pidge, and Allura had yet to pinpoint an exact location for the green lion. She also couldn’t establish a communication link, even though distance shouldn’t have been a huge problem with the castle’s advanced technology, which led them to believe that some of the software of the lion could be damaged. Shiro didn’t like the thought of that, but it was something he’d forced himself to at least consider from the very beginning.

The Holts had temporarily claimed Pidge’s workshop for their own. With as many hours as they stayed and tweaked some small Altean gadgets, sometimes under the watchful eye of Hunk or Coran, Shiro no longer wondered where the youngest had found her passion for machines. And while Sam and Matt were making progress with Altean technology in leaps and bounds, they still had a lot to learn. Despite their gusto and their determination to help and the sheer genius they both possessed, they hadn’t made much progress with tracking mechanisms yet.

The previous day, Matt had figured out how to change the Altean displays to English with a little help from Coran, and that had helped them with a few hurdles in their self-education. It had led to Matt’s successful rewiring of an old ticker he’d found on Pidge’s shelves, and Commander Holt had been able to find the schematics of the lions on his daughter’s computer. He spent a few hours carefully analyzing the green lion, and had figured out roughly where most of the tracking elements were. Shiro didn’t know what his goal was from there, but he and Matt were doing a lot of whispering today, and using a holographic diagram to build some sort of prototype, so he didn’t say anything.

The leader of the Voltron paladins found himself on the training deck again, alternating between sparring with Keith and Lance or together with them against the Gladiator. It was a simple way to distract himself, but it didn’t work for long.

He threw in the towel after forcing himself to stay for a full hour, stretching and bidding the two younger paladins farewell.

“See ya, Shiro!” Lance chirped, his tone light and optimistic.

“Later,” Keith was more subdued, as usual, but he gave Shiro a comforting grin. Somehow, his team never ceased to amaze Shiro. Even though he’d been rather closed off after blowing up at Allura, a sight that they had _all_ witnessed, everyone was treating him relatively the same...with an added bonus of trying to comfort him.

Honestly, he felt a little like he was cheating them. _He_ should be the calm, level headed one in this situation, but he had lost control of himself. When Pidge’s whereabouts were completely unknown, _calm_ was the last thing he was capable of being.

Helpless, maybe? Still harboring guilt over it, _definitely_. But calm? Shiro was far from it.

It was only the third day, and already Matt had talked to him at least five times about how antsy he had been. Of all people, Matt and Sam Holt had the most right to be on edge with Katie gone, but Shiro was probably showing it the most. Whatever he had been doing to hide his emotions before had completely failed him now, and even Allura had mentioned it once, pulling him aside after breakfast just that morning.

She hadn’t accused him of anything, but had carefully asked how he was doing and he just _knew_. Her mice were her eyes and ears throughout the castle, and one of them had probably been present when he’d admitted to her family that he couldn’t live without her.

In hindsight, he knew that he had sounded more than a little desperate, and he regretted the phrasing...but the validity? _That_ much hadn’t changed. Shiro was still every bit as torn apart by being away from Pidge as he had been the second he had lost her. In fact, as he left the training deck behind him, what little distraction it _had_ been providing crumbled and his mind was once more filled with the missing paladin of the green lion.

He took to walking the halls of the castle, lost in his own thoughts and clinging desperately to the memory of her voice.

Somehow, his feet always took him to her door, as if hoping she’d be there. And when he forced himself to move on, he tread lightly past the workshop, peering in as the father and son duo bustled around and messed with electronics. When Matt spotted him and waved, he absentmindedly waved back, but pushed himself to leave again.

His wandering eventually took him to his lion, and he lightly pressed a palm to a giant metal forepaw.

“What’s wrong with me, Kuro?” he asked with a dry laugh. Hunk liked to call the black lion _Blackie_ , but Shiro drew on half-remembered words and phrases from his childhood in a language that his mother had often sang to him in. His Japanese was rudimentary at best, and when he thought about how Pidge had been learning so many other alien dialects, he wondered if he could pick it back up. It was nostalgic, and it felt like home...but now, whenever Shiro thought of home, his picture was incomplete.

Kuro hummed in the mechanical way that all the lions did, as if to comfort his distressed paladin. Shiro slipped to the ground, leaning his back lightly against the lion, and sighed heavily.

Down here, he could think without being interrupted.

Down here, he could blame himself without everyone telling him that it wasn’t his fault.

_I still can’t get to her._

* * *

 

Shiro twitched at the sudden sound of footsteps, but after a few moments of panic, he managed to calm himself. He had no idea how long he’d been just sitting down here, with the black lion, but he most certainly hadn’t expected any other living beings to come down to him. The surprise was probably what put him so instantly on edge, especially when combined with the nights of little or no sleep since Pidge had disappeared. Honestly, though, whoever was coming down the hall was pretty lucky that Shiro had heard their approach, because he was just as likely to lash out when alarmed as he had been during his days as a Galra prisoner.

He had to remind himself, sternly, that he was on a friendly vessel and that no one here would attack him.

As he worked on composing himself, forcing himself into the picture of a calm and collected leader, a plate of food descended into his view. The image of bright, inquisitive golden eyes swam in his mind and he turned away from the food, mumbling, “I’m not hungry, thanks,” as he did so.

“Don’t give me that, Shiro,” the voice was unmistakably Hunk’s and a few seconds later, he had placed the food on the floor in front of the team leader. The bulky paladin flopped down beside Shiro a moment later, leaning back against Kuro with a cheerful greeting to the lion. And then he turned back with a pointed look and scolded, “You’ve skipped the last three meals, pretty much, and you’ve totally missed more than one night’s sleep. You know you’ve got to eat and sleep and stay healthy as our team leader, right?”

“I’m just—”

“— _not hungry_ , yeah,  yeah,” Hunk dismissed Shiro’s unfinished statement with a wave of his hand. “You can’t survive like this, Shiro. Pidge is still out there, somewhere, and you need to be healthy when we find her, man. Especially since Commander Holt and Matt are refusing to go to the infirmary until all the other refugees have been healed _and_ until she gets back. So you have to be well enough to take care of them while she’s gone, right? And you totally don’t want her to see you like this when she gets back, do you? I know you’re blaming yourself, man, but _everyone_ knows it’s not your fault. Pidge is as stubborn as they come, and as soon as she decided that closing the wormhole with her in it was the best course of action, no amount of arguing would have convinced her otherwise.”

He paused, glancing over at Shiro. The older paladin bit his lip and turned away, and Hunk took that as leave to continue.

“Besides, she’s the smartest out of all of us, even I’ve gotta admit that. So, in the end, she probably made the right decision. And I know you’re messed up over it because you think it’s your fault and because you like her, but you’ve gotta trust her _because_ you like her. She _said_ she’d find her way back, so she _will_.”

Shiro had barely registered the rest of Hunk’s statement after _because you like her_. He turned his head quickly to stare at Hunk in surprise, and he thought for a few seconds that he had misheard.

He knew that his façade had been crumbling for the last several days, ever since they had lost her, but he hadn’t really expected Hunk to come talk to him about it. Shiro had still been cautious about exactly what he said or what went across the paladin bond, despite _knowing_ how he felt. But Hunk seemed to know exactly what he was thinking, and he grinned in a manner that he must have learned from Lance.

“Come on, Shiro. I’ve been feeling the vibes from _both_ of you for _ages_ now. I’ve always been the best at reading things across the paladin bond, after all. But I digress,” Hunk reached forward and retrieved the plate, shoving it into Shiro’s startled hands. “I _came here_ to tell you that I’m gonna sit here until you eat all of this, and then we can talk more. About your lion, about Pidge, about your _feelings_. Whatever. But first you’ve gotta eat.”

Dazedly, Shiro reached for the spoon and started to eat, his frazzled nerves trying to come to terms with the phrase _I’ve been feeling the vibes from **both**_ _of you for **ages** now_.

The paladin of the yellow lion had been perfectly honest—he _was_ always better with reading the emotions and images that transmitted through the paladin bond. He had been ever since that first exercise, when Pidge had exploded at him for rooting around in her mind. Shiro had always blamed it on his caring, considerate nature. Hunk was just good at reading _people_. He could tell when Lance was about to start arguing with Keith and could slip in and mediate more smoothly than Shiro could, and he could see when Pidge was starting to overwork herself before anyone else even suspected. He knew when Shiro had been plagued with nightmares all night, or when Lance was feeling particularly homesick, and both occasions called for a warm drink he’d concocted somewhere through the years that tasted almost like hot chocolate.

After his initial shock at being addressed so suddenly, Shiro realized that he honestly wasn’t surprised that Hunk _knew_. Honestly, Hunk had probably known for some time and had just been keeping it under wraps because he knew that Shiro was withholding it.

He was a little curious, though, as to how long Hunk had actually known. _Ages_ could mean any number of different things. Weeks, months, even up to a year. It could be used with sarcasm, or in total seriousness, and Shiro was never quite sure. But from the casual way that the paladin had dropped the words, he had to assume he meant at least a few months.

And Shiro had thought he’d been hiding it well, at least until the last few days.

“Y’know something?” Hunk mused aloud, leaning back against Kuro as he did so. Shiro glanced at him, waiting for him to continue while he took another bite. “If it had been anyone but you that had walked into her workshop, Pidge probably wouldn’t have admitted how close we were.”

“You don’t know that,” Shiro’s response was almost automatic. Hunk snorted.

“Please. She would have let it drive her _insane_ and she would have focused too much on all the _what ifs_ and she’d be getting even less sleep than she used to, worrying about it. But...since it was you, and since she trusts you more than anyone, she let you in. She told you how close we were and how much she wanted to go, even though it’s been over four years since we got that information from Sendak’s ship. And she told you, even though she wouldn’t tell anyone else for the fear that we’d think she was being selfish. So while you’re probably going to use that as another ill-conceived excuse to blame yourself, Shiro, it’s also thanks to you that all of these innocent aliens are free now, with beds to sleep in and plenty of food to eat, probably for the first time in years.”

“It’s not an _ill-conceived_ excuse, Hunk—”

“—oh, just shut up for a second and _think_ , man,” Hunk clapped him on the shoulder, an affectionate gesture to contrast with his sharp reprimand. “You were the one she told to keep her family safe, and the one she actually trusted with the info on _how close we were_. I don’t care _what_ you say, but you are the one that Pidge trusts the most. What do you think she would she say if she heard that you’re _doubting_ her trust in you? She trusted you to help find her family, and you did. She entrusted you with their safety, and you delivered. They’re here in the castle, eating and sleeping and waiting for her to get back, and they’re as healthy as they could possibly be before spending some time in the healing pods. Pidge believed in you, Shiro—she _believes_ in you—and you need to believe in her, too. It’s not a one way street, and I’m _not_ gonna tell you that again.”

Shiro wisely chose to close his mouth, and he pondered what Hunk was saying. While he could acknowledge, albeit begrudgingly, that Pidge trusted him more than some of the others, he just couldn’t bring himself to believe that she wouldn’t have told even Hunk if he had stumbled upon her that night, tracking planet Millerna as they drew nearer. They were thick as thieves, always sharing some sort of technical jargon that flew over his head.

“Hunk,” he finally started, then bit his lip. How did he say anything after the warm, empathetic paladin had actually raised his voice to scold him? Lance and Pidge got that treatment all the time because Hunk was a mother hen, but it was rare that he dared to contradict Shiro.

“Yeah?” he prompted, after Shiro’s prolonged silence.

With a sigh, Shiro ran a hand through his hair. And then, a little tentatively, he said, “You know I can’t accept everything you said just like that...but I’ll think about it, okay? And I _do_ believe in her, Hunk. I’m just…”

He trailed off, looking around a little helplessly. All he could see was Kuro’s haunches in his peripherals and a few scattered tools around the hangar, but in his mind he saw a mischievous smirk and eyes full of curiosity.

“You’re just worried,” Hunk supplied, his voice once more that calm, soothing tone that Shiro was used to. “Again, though, Pidge is strong. She’s tougher than you think, and she can handle whatever the universe throws at her. She’ll be back before you know it, and everything will be great. You can start ignoring your feelings again or actually tell her about them, and then you can let her decide what she wants for herself instead of making the decision for her.”

Shiro felt the back of his neck grow warm and he groaned aloud.

“Hunk, not now,” he muttered, bashfully. “I’m getting enough of this shit from Matt, I don’t need it from you, too.”

Hunk started to laugh, the kind of infections laughter that came from somewhere deep down, and Shiro couldn’t help but crack a smile. And when his companion finally started to catch his breath, he spoke again, “Phew. Man, Shiro, I did _not_ expect that...but, you know, I’m totally not surprised. You’ve been _awful_ at keeping your feelings to yourself since the mission _started_ , let alone since we got back. At least he’s just teasing you and not giving you the _‘if you hurt my little sister, there will be hell’_ speeches. Yet.”

“Don’t give him any ideas,” Shiro sighed, reaching to finish the food that Hunk had brought down with him. At long last, the leader of the paladins gave in. “I think he’s saving that until we get Ka—Pidge—back.”

Somehow, calling her Katie was getting easier and easier with each passing day. And it wasn’t _wrong_ to call her by her name, but Shiro tried to respect her desire to go by Pidge among the rest of the crew. He had the special privilege of calling her by her name sometimes, when it was just the two of them, partially to remind her that Katie and Pidge were two halves of a whole. It had been over a year since they’d had that particular conversation, and he’d nearly forgotten it, but he remembered _why_ they had discussed it.

She used the name Pidge Gunderson for a very specific reason; to represent that they had yet to achieve their goal. And while she had no problem with _Katie_ , she wasn’t likely to be using her given name until the Galra threat had been eliminated.

She thought the name _Katie Holt_ had made her weak, but when he looked at her family, Shiro thought it had made her stronger.

If Hunk had noticed Shiro’s slip, he decided not to say anything, merely taking the now empty plate from Shiro’s hand and sitting it aside. With a teasing tone, he asked, “So...in that case, since you practically have big brother’s blessing, are you gonna actually confess? Tell her you l—”

“Hunk, don’t _go_ there,” Shiro practically whined, and the younger man started laughing.

“Just because you won’t admit it out loud doesn’t mean it’s any less _true_.”

And _of course_ Matt was there, standing in the doorway with a hand on his hip and that Holt family smirk on his lips. His delivery, the deliberate way he’d spoken, made the targeted paladin groan deep in his throat. Now Shiro _really_ understood where Pidge got her mischievous streak from. He had suspected for years, but now that he had seen Matt again, he was absolutely positive that the man had taught his younger sister everything he knew about being a _pain in the ass_.

“Indeed, my man!” Hunk agreed readily, a happy chortle continuing to pour forth. Matt started to chuckle as he walked into the hangar, eyes trailing up to survey the black lion. “See, Shiro? You gotta admit—”

“ _Guys_ , please!” Shiro laughed, hoisting himself to his feet. “I get it, I get it. I’ll _think_ about it, okay?”

Hunk had started to stand, but fumbled with the plate and dropped it as he turned to look back up at Shiro, eyes twinkling hopefully. And then, in a stream of words that nearly blended together, he blurted, “Holy crow! I didn’t think I could get you to even _consider_ the idea of _confessing_ so this has definitely already exceeded my expectations! I mean, I thought I’d have to bug you _endlessly_ and risk you getting mad at me and—”

“I get it, Hunk,” Shiro tried, but Hunk ignored him.

“—I thought I’d have to come up with like, seventeen different plans for when she gets back. Like, leaving fake notes that said one of you wanted to _talk_ to the other, but I knew she’d at least see through that pretty instantly, and besides, she would communicate mostly with electronics _anyway_ , so—”

“ _Enough_ ,” another attempt, yet again in vain. Shiro stifled another groan.

“— _that_ plan wouldn’t work, and then I thought about getting you to help, Matt, because I’m sure you know _something_ I could use—”

Matt wasn’t being helpful _at all_. He was snickering as Shiro grew even more uncomfortable and once again tried to cut Hunk’s rambling off with, “I heard you the first time, Hunk!”

“—then I thought, _of course_ , I’ll just talk to Shiro, even though I had already realized that it would be hard to get him to admit to _anything_ , and how he’s said that he’ll _think_ about it and it worked so much quicker than I thought!” Hunk threw his hands up, chest heaving, and then laughed and clapped Shiro on the back with more force than the older man had expected. “I’ll have you admitting the rest of it out loud yet, don’t you worry!”

“Y-yeah, Shiro, don’t y-you worry!” Matt was practically wheezing, patting Shiro on the arm. “And when you finally admit it out loud, I’ll finally get to have that talk with you, hmmm?” he grinned again, and Shiro pointedly looked away.

“Are you guys done?” he asked, his tone a little deadpan.

“I’m heading back up to the kitchen!” Hunk piped up, reaching down for the plate and spoon he’d dropped. “I promised Coran I’d help clean up after I made sure you finally _ate_ something more than a snack. So I’ll catch ya later!” he saluted, grinning, and slipped from the hangar, whistling to himself. Shiro exhaled slowly, then turned to Matt and raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, I’m not here to tease,” he held up his hands with a chuckle. “Well, not much. I’m actually here to ask if I can take a look at your lion? I wanted to see some of the mechanisms up close. Hunk and Coran have both told me that some of the components differ between the lions, so I wanted to see examples. Hunk let me take a look at the yellow lion, so I wanted to compare.”

“Sure thing. That alright with you, Kuro?” Shiro glanced up at the black lion, and the thrumming of her agreement seeped into his mind. “It’s fine with her. Which part do you need to see?”

* * *

 

Another day passed with no news of Pidge.

Allura couldn’t pinpoint the green lion and it had already been four days. Four days since they had last seen or heard from the youngest and physically weakest member of their team. And while Shiro did believe in her, even before Hunk’s scolding, worries still plagued him.

Was she hurt? How much damage did the green lion take, and was she on a planet with the resources to fix it? Where all of her stashed parts and gadgets enough to be able to make repairs if she was in a more primitive system? Were her systems damaged, and that’s why Allura’s connection with the lion wasn’t helping them find it? Find _her_?

_I can’t get to her!_

No matter what he did, no matter how many times Hunk or Matt or Commander Holt or even Princess Allura had tried to help, it always came back to the fact that Shiro couldn’t help her right now. He wasn’t the technology guru, nor was he a genius like Pidge herself. And while he willingly provided aid to everyone who _could_ do something to help find her, he still felt _helpless_.

He wanted to be out there, searching. Something— _anything_ —to make him feel like he was helping.

Finally, though, Hunk’s words had settled in the back of his mind. The confident way he had told Shiro that _she’ll be back before you know it_ and how he had implored him to _believe in her_ because she _trusted_ and _believed_ in him. He could finally acknowledge the true validity of those statements, and it wasn’t just Pidge that trusted him. He still had the trust of her father and her brother, even after all these years, and he wasn’t about to waste that.

Today was one of his days of determination. His manner had fluctuated constantly since they had returned to the castle without her, from the moments where he was hellbent on finding her and on down to the moments where being without her sent tremors through his entire form and he had to concentrate just to remember how to _breathe_. His favorite hours were those when he was filled to the brim with confidence, with belief that she’d be okay.

Maybe Shiro wasn’t able to do much to help find her, but he would do everything in his power to help where he could. He wanted to find her working in her lab at obscene hours of the night, tapping away at her computer or rewiring any number of the Altean gizmos on her shelves. He wanted to see that clever gleam in her eyes, the one that was always there when she had thought of a new way to embarrass Lance or Hunk or even when she imagined a new modification to the lions. He would do anything to have her back by his side, to be able to hold her in his arms and _know_ that she was alright rather than relying on the speculations and blind trust that were _somehow_ enough for everyone else.

That blind optimism wasn’t enough for him, so he chose to believe in _her_.

But the way Allura rushed into the dining room, not even bothering to use the castle’s intercom, her face flushed and eyes bright, he thought there might me some substance to whatever she had to say. Everyone clambered a little straighter in their seats as she breathed heavily, and then smiled at the room. All of the paladins and the Holts were present, as well as a few of their recently rescued alien comrades.

“I have it,” she breathed, hope practically shining in her every expression. “It’s faint, but I have a connection with the green lion. Coran is setting the course for it as we speak.”

Hunk and Lance erupted from their seats with whoops of joy, and Shiro slumped back in his, relief unspooling some of the tension in his gut. If the lion was reachable, there was a greater possibility that Pidge was still there, and he would cling to it with everything he had.

Allura frowned just a little when she added, “I’m not quite near enough to know the exact condition of the lion or its paladin, but some of the systems must be functioning for me to feel it. It’s unfortunate, but without knowing the exact status, I can’t safely open a wormhole.”

“Well then,” Commander Holt spoke up in the collected way Shiro remembered him for, smiling calmly but with a distinctive glint in his eyes that spoke of the true depths of his excitement, “I think it’s time for us to mention that we _think_ we have found out a way to increase the probability of picking up a signal from the green lion’s built-in tracking device. The one that _isn’t_ directly connected to the Princess’s life force.”

The paladin of the yellow lion turned to him instantly and posed a question full of so many technical terms that Shiro couldn’t even begin to follow just what was asked. He took it to mean that Hunk had taken part in their endeavors, though, and when Matt answered in the affirmative, Hunk let out yet another cheer.

“Sweet! It’ll work stronger from the lions, right?” he asked, scooping up another bite of his dinner even though he was still standing. “I mean, with the weird magic-science connection they have, and the paladin bond, it would make more sense for it to work better when it’s installed on a lion. Doesn’t it?”

He paused to ask, and Matt grinned, nodding enthusiastically.

“Yes. We’ve made two of them, and they’re modified for the black and yellow lions,” Shiro started at this information, and leaned forward to listen. “If you guys will let us install them, you won’t really have to do anything but keep in touch with your lions. From what we understand, they can let you know, even from the slight distance from the castle to the hangars, if something comes up by contacting you through your bond.”

“Of course,” Shiro and Hunk spoke in unison, though the latter spoke with more gusto and continued, “I can totally help! And can I take a look at the specs? I’m super curious about how you finally managed to get it to work!”

 _Finally_? The older Holts had barely been onboard for half a week, so how was tinkering with foreign alien tech and making a possibly life-saving tracking device a situation that required the word _finally_? Shiro was _amazed_ at the progress the duo had made in just their short stay in the castle thus far, but he supposed he shouldn’t be too surprised.

The Holts were _all_ geniuses...and they could all take care of themselves.

“This should make it easier to get in contact with Pidge and see how her lion is,” Keith observed, “right?”

“Exactamundo!” Hunk cried, pumping his fist in the air. “Which means we _might_ , remember it’s an experimental device so we _might_ be able to check the area and open a wormhole quicker than we would otherwise!”

Coran’s voice crackled over the speaker then, cheerfully proclaiming, “The Castle of Lions is on course! We’re on our way straight to number five’s estimated location!”

There was no room for negative energy in the dining room. Even their guests celebrated with them, and Shiro couldn’t help but smile. There was still a possibility that the green lion was in enemy hands, that _Pidge_ was in enemy hands, but he overheard Allura assuring Hunk then that there were no distress signals of an immediate sort, and once again reminding him of the fact that her connection meant that some of the systems must be up and running again.

Warmth bloomed in his chest, and Shiro drew in a deep breath. They were one step closer to finding her, to a moment when he could be holding her in his arms and making sure she was okay first hand. And even though it was hard not to beg Allura to send him on his own, through a wormhole in Pidge’s approximate direction, he knew that the next step was important. They had to know that it was safe first. As hope stirred, his determination followed, stronger than ever.

 _We’re coming, Katie_.


	10. Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was excessively thankful for the fact that her lion was considered a guardian of the forest and wanted to frolic a little sometimes. Or, in this case, bask under the foliage and wait for more repairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 10!
> 
> This was pretty much typed between the hours of 8pm and 2am so if there are any inconsistencies, I will fix them in the morning!
> 
> And a quick update about future chapters: I've just been hired for a part-time position, which may delay my writing somewhat. I'll still try to keep on at least a weekly schedule for this fic, and at least monthly for [Café au Lait](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7825351/chapters/17862583), my other current Shidge story, but please keep that in mind!
> 
> Anyway, here's chapter 10, and I hope you enjoy it! :) Thank you for reading!

 

Pidge had been travelling for approximately sixty-two hours, not including the time she’d been unconscious, which she estimated around six hours or so, and the time she’d taken to repair some of Greenie’s systems, which had been about eight hours. All in all, from her best estimate, she had been separated from the rest of the paladins for about seventy-six hours. That, her brain told her matter-of-factly, was just over three days.

It was a fact she was acutely aware of.

She could barely go three days without hearing Lance’s rambling when she knew he was safe in a healing pod and would be back with them shortly. The last time she’d been without Hunk’s cooking for more than three meals—when he was ill and Coran had to cook—she thought it was going to be the end of the world. The fact that she couldn’t listen to Keith’s deadpan responses to whatever insult or quip Lance threw at him was grating on her sanity. The way Allura cheerfully induced them to work themselves to exhaustion in the simulations was a nearly daily occurrence, even so long after they had truly bonded as a team, and Coran’s outlandish reactions to little customs or minor missteps by any of the Earthlings was already fading to a fuzzy memory in her mind. But that wasn’t even the worst part.

Just the thought of whatever face Shiro had made when he’d called her name made her chest squeeze painfully. Did this separation hurt him even half as much as it was hurting her? She knew that he was at least fond of her, that she was probably as close to Shiro or closer than his foster brother Keith, but were her feelings the only ones that waxed romantic? She wasn’t entirely sure, but Pidge was clinging to the memory of his arms wrapped tightly around her, before they had left the castle.

His warmth had surrounded her, enveloped her in a cocoon of comfort and shrouded her in a feeling that she was safe and protected, and it was a feeling she desperately wanted back.

A beep sounded on her radar, drawing Pidge from her reverie, and she sat forward to examine the small screen she had functioning. It was fuzzy at best, but she managed to read the Altean words with some difficulty, and groaned.

“Greenie, recalculate to go on the other side of plant Yldir and its moons to avoid the Galra battleship,” she said aloud, typing a few things in. The soft, mechanical whirring and a soothing feeling counted as her lion’s agreement, and after roughly calculating coordinates, Pidge started to input numbers. While Greenie was fairly capable of flying on autopilot, the paladin’s trajectory calculations would help ensure that they went the way she wanted to do. And from there, Pidge had to just hope that the Galra ship and its scouts throughout the system didn’t spot her.

This wasn’t the first time in her solo tour of the universe that she’d had to avoid a Galra ship, but it still made her heart leap every time. Without a functioning cloaking device, she couldn’t blend into her surroundings as well, and she couldn’t be sure how well her signals were protected. Not until she got back to the castle and was able to run diagnostic scans, at any rate.

“Nice and easy,” she murmured, shifting a little in her seat. Her knee, stiff from disuse, gave a twinge of discomfort, but she did her best to ignore it. “If we keep going in this direction, one of the six moons of Igsa will hide us from the main ship in about three minutes, and as long as we stay on this side of these two planets, we’ll be good…”

She forced herself to stop talking and focus on checking the radar. The smaller scouting vessels could get closer before her glitchy scanners could pick them up, as she had already learned. She didn’t want a repeat of _those_ evasive maneuvers.

Her ribcage throbbed at the thought of a repeat performance, and she grimaced.

In her condition, and with the condition of her lion, Pidge didn’t think it would be wise to have another surprise meeting with some Galra scouts. Especially not when their battleship was so close. They could be upon her in literally _minutes_ , and the thought set her on edge. Watching her radars was the only thing on her mind, waiting and silently begging that no enemies showed up in range. This system didn’t have much in the way of debris or asteroid belts, so it was going to be hard to take cover if she did come across a scout.

Pidge scarcely allowed herself to breathe until she and her lion had put planet Yldir between the Galra battleship and themselves. She couldn’t exactly _relax_ yet, but she breathed a little easier and continued to observe as they slipped further into the system. And when she was fairly certain that they were clear of the battleship’s detection, after several minutes that seemed so much longer, she busied herself with examining her path forward. Unfortunately, Pidge found that she didn’t like the looks of either option. Both systems she could go through from here had been heavily impacted by the Galra, because they were shown in red on the scanner.

She couldn’t make out the patchy Altean lettering and cursed softly, wishing, not for the first and probably not for the last time, that she had been able to fix the display completely. Without a clear picture, Pidge couldn’t read how long it had been since the Galra had taken over those systems. It could have been just the week before, since her map may not have fully updated yet, or it could have been any time in the last ten _thousand_ years. That could determine whether they had already drained the system of its usefulness, or whether they had a base in the area.

“What do you think, Greenie?” she murmured out loud. “Should we go through the Jarin system or the…” she peered to make out letters and finally guessed with, “Drax system?”

An image of a forest passed through her mind. It was bursting with life, filled with green and purple and yellow leaves, and there was a slight pang of longing associated with the images. And in her mind, she felt Greenie pulling towards Drax.

“This planet was in the Drax system?” she asked, closing her eyes for a moment to let more images wash over her. The first was a bubbling spring with pink water, surrounded by lush greenery on almost all sides and a small waterfall on the remaining side. And then it switched to a small mountain, with ancient trees, their leaves a stark magenta, climbing gently up its slopes. And another small grove, full of trees with leaves that were as green as the lion itself.

Greenie passed on the affirmative, and Pidge opened her eyes to calculate the path through that system. It was a more direct route than the Jarin system was, for sure, and it seemed to have more planets left intact, so with a deep breath she touched the controls and started nudging the green lion in that direction. The paladin rolled her shoulders carefully and trained her eyes back on the radar, keeping an eye out for scouts as they made their way out of the system.

* * *

 

There were several things Pidge was thankful for.

She was thankful for her family, her intelligence, her upbringing. She was thankful that she had met all of her friends, that she had the opportunity to do some good in the world—in the _universe_ —by being a paladin of Voltron. But at that precise moment, she was more thankful for Greenie’s desire to dive onto the lush, blooming planet that the lion had showed her in images just an hour earlier.

Apparently, the Galra hadn’t yet decided to suck the quintessence out of planet Verdia, and it was still thriving. And if Greenie hadn’t been impatient to see this planet again and if Pidge hadn’t reluctantly started to turn towards it, she would have been adrift out in the Drax system and at the complete mercy of the Galra fleet that her sensors picked up on.

As it was, nearly as soon as they had entered the atmosphere of the verdant planet, the green lion’s tech went on the fritz, and they started to plummet.

There was enough energy left for them to make a relatively safe landing without damaging too many trees, and now they were safely huddled under the boughs of a few of those trees. Pidge spent a few moments breathing heavily through her teeth, her stiff knee sending shooting pains throughout her leg after it had made rather rough contact with the dash. Her ribs gave a throb, though it was nothing compared to the pain she’d felt a few days ago.

It had taken about fifteen minutes to bring her radar back online, and in the process she had tinkered with some of the other wiring in the panel and bypassed a few plugs and circuits in order to bring another screen to life. And then, as she started to mess with a few other wires in an attempt to bring more of her systems back, Greenie had whined, and a sense of urgency had been conveyed through their bond.

That led her to clambering back to her seat and staring at the radar, which registered at least twelve Galra ships passing by.

So yes, right now, she was excessively thankful for the fact that her lion was considered a guardian of the _forest_ and wanted to frolic a little sometimes. Or, in this case, bask under the foliage and wait for more repairs. At least she had a little bit of a head start this time, since she had already made several repairs.

Breathing a shaky breath, Pidge asked, “Do you know where your systems are glitching, Greenie?”

At the image that filled Pidge’s mind, the paladin nearly groaned. It was a panel on the _outside_ of the lion. And, begrudgingly, she had to acknowledge that it made perfect sense. She herself had been unconscious when they had crash landed the first time, but there had to have been some jarring on impact. It would have been pretty simple for something to get knocked askew in the outer panels.

“Do I have any painkillers left…?” she mumbled aloud, pulling herself to her feet. “And if I have some, do I use them before I go outside or after I get back in?”

As she moved, Pidge tried to ignore any discomfort from her knee. It was hard, but she went to the pile in the corner anyway, where her armor rested beside one discarded change of clothes. She didn’t exactly have a way to wash clothes or anything, so she was glad she’d managed to squirrel away as many random shirts or shorts as she had. But this time, when she let her current outfit topple to the floor, she reached for her armor. She had no idea if the atmosphere was breathable, and while she assumed it was, Pidge wasn’t willing to take any chances. At least she was pretty certain that her helmet was fully functional after checking it over for damage the day before, so she shouldn’t have a problem as long as she was wearing her protective gear.

Pulling the tight suit over her swollen knee was a feat in and of itself, and she was thankful that her friends weren’t there to hear the awful sound that escaped when she bumped the injury wrong. And the battered, chipped armor that covered her knee was hardly any better, but she wasn’t forgoing it. It was better to err on the side of caution.

Besides, it would look weird if she wore her chest armor for the jetpacks and wasn’t wearing the rest.

At that thought, she snorted. It was definitely something influenced by several years in Lance’s company. Even when she had cared a little more for appearances, something as little as that wouldn’t have phased her. But the thought had also reminded her of how badly she missed the rest of the team, and it only increased her determination. She _had_ to find her way back, or at least get close enough that her team could come to her. And in order to do that, she needed to get Greenie in working order again.

She buckled her toolbelt on last—or the spare one she kept in her lion—and then prepared for the walk. On her way out, Pidge stopped to grab a few extra wires and connectors, just in case, and then she slipped down the ramp and her lion opened its mouth, giving her access to the outside. It was the first time that she had stepped outside since she’d been separated from the rest of the team, and she internally thanked whatever great Altean technical genius had thought to put at least a toilet of sorts in the lions...even if it had taken nearly three months to discover it was even there to begin with.

“Let’s see…” she murmured to herself, activating her jetpack a lot sooner than she would have on a normal basis. Her knee was killing her, and she had decided to forego the painkillers until after she’d finished repairs. That way she would _know_ if she was pushing her knee too far in the process of fixing Greenie. “Which panel was it again?”

The image was back in her mind before she had even finished asking, and she chuckled a little. And then she lifted into the air, taking a good look at the green lion. She tried to hold it in, but her breath escaped in a soft exhale.

Pidge had seen damage before. She had seen the way that Keith’s agile lion was nearly _crumpled_ from his crash landing in the first wormhole fiasco years ago, and yet somehow he’d survived. Greenie wasn’t nearly as bad as Red had been then, but it was some of the heaviest damage that Pidge had seen the green lion take. There was hardly a foot without a scratch or scrape of some kind from her nose to her hindquarters, and the paladin honestly felt ashamed of herself.

 _How did I let this happen to you_?

A soothing rumble sounded from the green lion beneath her, and she felt assurances wash across their bond. The feeling was _it’s not your fault, little one_ , and she knew it meant that her guilt had been transmitted. She smiled wryly—leave it to the sentient alien robot lion to try to comfort her when it was in worse shape.

“I’m gonna get you patched up, Greenie,” she tried to sound even a little more confident than she felt as she drifted towards the control panel on the back of the lion’s neck. “We’re gonna get you fixed up some, and then we’re gonna find the castle. I’ll get to...get to see Dad and Matt, _finally_ ,” _and hope that they haven’t been blaming everyone else for my disappearance because it wasn’t their fault!_ “And then maybe I can bully them into helping me fix you up. How’s that sound?”

Another affirmative rumble, accompanied by a contented whirring sound. Pidge grinned. She took a moment to brace herself for the discomfort of landing and then carefully settled onto the back of the lion’s neck. She squeezed her eyes briefly against the awkward angle her sprained knee had briefly adopted before she could adjust, and then she took a steadying breath.

 _Please don’t be too bad,_ she found herself silently praying as she started to pry open the panel. She wasn’t sure she could handle another tangled mass of messed up wires and broken connectors, not with what parts she had left. Pidge was almost afraid to look, but she forced herself to keep her gaze steady as she finally managed to get it open. The sight that greeted her was slightly better than she had expected and a little worse than she had hoped.

“Okay,” she muttered, reaching into the compartment to push a few wires aside and check the hardware. She found a blown connector fairly quickly, but a quick search of her pouches proved that she had the appropriate replacement part on hand. It was the first on a mental list of maintenance concerns, but before fixing it she continued to assess the damage.

Two fried yellow wires, a mangled blue wire, a blown fuse and three damaged connectors _needed_ to be replaced. Her own cloaking device, larger and much clunkier than the small cube she’d found on the dash, looked like it was in fairly good condition, but all four wires and a fuse connected to it looked as though they’d been shorted out. Part of her wanted to leave it be, use the wires she had and fix other components, like her dash displays, but another part of her knew that the cloaking device, if she could get it functioning, would really help her progress back towards the Dryden system.

It really wasn’t hard for her to choose. The cloaking mechanism could potentially save her life, and Pidge had always thrived on challenges. To fix it with what she had might be difficult, but it wasn’t impossible.

Pidge rolled her neck a little and reached to make a few of the smaller repairs before she started messing with the cloaking device. The necessary replacements, like the wires and fuses, were thankfully all easy to do, and after about forty-five minutes, the paladin was ready to tackle the cloaking mechanism. And so that’s just what she did, ignoring the slight rumble in her stomach that alerted her to the fact that she was starting to get hungry.

Maybe she’d find something edible on this planet, but she’d look or ask Greenie _after_ she was done with repairs.

A few hours later, she almost gave up and went to search for food. She knew that her supplies were starting to dwindle, and she was slightly frustrated by her maintenance progress. The cloaking device proved a lot tougher than she had originally anticipated, and it took over an hour before she had even made any headway. At two hours, she was forced to pull the device out completely and inspect it, because it had blown a fuse that she had just replaced before she’d even _tried_ to turn the cloaking _on_.

At three hours, she’d finished with rewiring the inside of the device, which took the last of her tiny black wires and one of the last connectors for small wires, as well as bypassing a slightly newer addition to the mechanism. She knew it would work without that particular component, although it would be less stable. That was a risk she’d have to take, though.

Her stomach growled at her as she started to reattach the cloaking element, but she was close. She could _feel_ it. So she decided to power through, even though Greenie had sent her a few images of a fruit that looked edible after she’d accidentally wondered aloud if anything on this planet was safe for human consumption. She could actually see one of the fruit trees from where she worked, so she knew what she would be grabbing after she finished the repair. She’d run a scan on it with the handheld she’d unearthed in the closet yesterday, and if it came back okay, Pidge would be able to save her packets of space goo for another day. It would make her supplies last, and that was a thought that calmed her, even just a little.

She continued murmuring to herself as she reconnected the wires, including, “The blue wire goes to— _quiznak_ , why did I put these connectors so close together?” and also, “At least this fuse seems stable now…” until finally, she sat back and observed her work. And after a few moments, she closed the panel and took a breath.

“Greenie, could I ask you to activate the cloaking device?”

In lieu of an answer, Pidge was treated to the surreal experience of watching the metal surface beneath her ripple, turn the same colors as the flora beneath it, and then blend in. She grinned and activated her jet pack, lifting carefully off of the lion. Despite her caution, her knee still screamed in discomfort, and Pidge grimaced and bit her lip, focusing her attention on the green lion.

Nothing shimmered, no shiny metal showed. Even as she circled to the back, she couldn’t see any trace of the lion except where the grass beneath it was depressed from its weight.

“Great work, Green— _ugh_!”

Her words trailed off in a garbled grunt as something collided, heavily, with her back. Her jetpack fizzled and they lost height rapidly, bouncing off of the lion that was coming back into view before landing on the ground. Pidge couldn’t hold back the shout as her knee twisted painfully beneath her on impact, but she forced herself to power through, rolling away from whatever had fallen on her and pushing herself to her feet through the discomfort.

A Galra drone picked itself up from the forest floor, and a small speeder came into view, another drone driving it.

“Paladin of Voltron,” the metallic voice sounded through the helmet, “you are now under the command of—”

“Like _hell_ I am!” she didn’t even wait for the drone to finish, lashing out with her bayard before it could raise its gun. At close range, it was easy to lunge forward and sever the wiring—or it _usually_ was. Her knee gave out in the middle of the attack and she toppled with a cry of pain. Her attack missed the vital part and instead sliced through the drone’s side, and she cursed as she rolled to avoid a barrage of shots from above. The drone ceased when she was too close to its comrade, but that didn’t really matter. A large paw swatted the small craft out of the sky and Greenie pressed her paw down with an ominous crunch, a low growl resonating through the clearing.

Pride surged through the paladin, but then she had to worry about the drone next to her instead.

Pidge rolled to her feet and took a shaky step back to avoid the way her enemy had lunged at her, and dizziness swept over her.

 _Shit, my knee,_ she realized suddenly. She could feel an ache in her bruised ribs, but her knee, which had made her feverish more than once over the last few days, was nothing but a concentrated mass of shooting pain. She stumbled a little as she dodged a swing and belatedly realized that the drone before her hadn’t pulled a blaster on her. In fact, the only one he had seemed to be one the size of a pistol on his waist...that was good for her.

With a herculean effort, Pidge stepped forward on her bad knee, shouting both from the pain and as a battlecry, and drove her bayard forcefully through the front chestplate of the drone. As she had planned, she felt the core explode from the contact, sending a tremor up her arm and knocking her back a few steps. The only thing that kept her from crumpling to the ground was the fact that the green lion was right there behind her, solid and soothing and sending concerned, questioning vibes through their connection.

“‘M alright, Greenie,” Pidge barely managed to speak. She actually had to focus on keeping herself on her feet, and she really, _really_ needed those painkillers. “I just...need a minute.”

A minute turned into probably ten, and then Pidge’s spike of pain dulled enough for her to reactivate her jetpack and make her way into the lion. She didn’t dare lower her leg to put pressure on her throbbing knee, not when it was even more painful than when she had first come to after the initial crash, so when she landed outside the supply closet to rummage for the first aid supplies, she was careful to stay on her uninjured leg.

She had never been more relieved to have a stockpile of healing supplies. It meant that there were still plenty of that oddly strong Altean pain reliever left, and she downed one while standing at the closet on one leg, snagging one of the water pouches on the way.

Pidge didn’t bother changing out of her armor as she made her way back to the cockpit. She didn’t even bother walking, instead dropping as carefully by her chair as she could using the jetpack before sinking into the seat. Greenie questioningly sent an image of that fruit from earlier and Pidge grimaced.

“I can’t,” she found herself saying aloud. “Let’s just...let’s just get going, Greenie. Pretty soon, they’ll realize we were here.”

The concerned rumble made her chest ache, but she assured the lion that she would be fine.

Pidge was pretty sure Greenie could tell it was only a half-truth, but the lion shifted, and at a little prompting from Pidge, after the paladin had booted up the working displays and checked the radar, launched itself back out into space.

“Not taking any chances,” Pidge murmured, pressing the cloaking button. Greenie rumbled in agreement, and she knew that, as long as the device was still working, they would be mostly concealed from Galra sight and sensors in the area.

She felt safe enough to close her eyes and lean back, breathing deeply and trying to ignore the pain in her knee. Pidge had a feeling that she’d only injured it worse, and she silently begged for the medicine she’d taken to kick in soon. The dull ache in her ribcage could scarcely match up, but it wasn’t pleasant, either. She found herself missing the healing pods in the infirmary back at the Castle of Lions and, for once, she realized she was looking forward to letting one wash all of her aches and pains away.

The daydream, if that’s what it was, lingered in her mind for a few moments. She imagined stepping out of the pod, fresh and healed and whole, and straight into her brother’s arms. _Quiznak_. She missed his hugs, she missed her father patting her head or kissing her on the forehead and assuring her that she was meant for great things.

 _Here I am, Dad_ , she thought with a wry smile. _I’m out here, doing great things. And you’re stuck there at the castle, waiting for me to come back._

A dinging sound drew her from her reverie, and her eyes snapped open to scan her screens. The one display she’d just fixed had a line of Altean text across it, but it was clearer than the radar screen.

In Altean, it read, _Communication Link to the Castle of Lions established. Connection: patchy. Location: Eldredge system._

Pidge thought her heart might stop. She now had not only a link to the castle, patchy though it might be, but a location. The Eldredge system. She didn’t even have to look at her map to know that it was two systems closer to her than the Dryden system, not after staring at possible routes for over three days. but she reached out to flip the comm switch on. Static sounded, and she gulped.

“Princess! Come in, Allura!” she finally started, pushing more confidence into her tone. “It’s Pidge. This is Pidge speaking. I...I have located the Castle of Lions and I am on my way back.”

She couldn’t tell if it was a startled scream or a gasp, but then she heard, “Th...llura! I...peat, this...Allura! I h...ou!”

It was fuzzy, and she couldn’t make out all the words, but Pidge actually let out an audible sob at the sound of Allura’s voice coming through her helmet. She interpreted what she heard as _This is Allura! I repeat, this is Allura! I hear you!_ and although she couldn’t be certain that those were the exact words, it comforted her to hear them.

“I...I’m on my way,” she managed again, but if Allura answered, she couldn’t hear it through the static.

Pidge couldn’t wait to be close enough to hear her voice clearly.


	11. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He found himself outside a door. It wouldn’t have been a problem if it was any other door, but for some reason his feet had taken him to her door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I busted my ass over the last few days to get this update out pretty quickly before I start work tomorrow, and then it turned out to be the longest chapter yet! It's only around 7200 words, but still!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this update, and remember that while I'm going to TRY to stick to weekly updates, even with my new part-time job, I can't make any guarantees just yet. So if an update is a little late, please be patient! 
> 
> And you might have noticed a new little detail - I've set the total number of chapters to 15. This means that, yes, there are only 4 chapters remaining in LAF. I hope you'll all stick around! :)
> 
> And now, on with the show!

 

The castle was alive with energy like it hadn't been since days before the mission to rescue the Holts.

Lance, whose energy had been at an all-time low as they waited for news of Pidge, was almost back to his usual self. Hunk was once more humming while he worked in the kitchen or while he helped the Holts, his attitude brighter than Shiro had seen it in almost a week. Even Keith’s newfound relief was noticeable, his movements on the training deck less vengeful and more relaxed, his expression more open and friendly.

For the team leader, it was all of that and more. Shiro’s heart was racing and had been ever since Allura’s announcement. Pessimism haunted him, tossed him around so that he hardly knew what direction to face, but then the optimism around him raised him up again.

 _We’ll find her_ , he told himself firmly when his doubts began to surface.

It had only been a few hours since Allura had managed to locate the green lion, but in the time since, Coran and Matt Holt had done a few calculations. They had concluded that the green lion was moving _towards_ the Castle of Lions, which was a good sign. The hope in the halls was palpable, thrumming through the air as if it was a sentient being itself. Hunk and Lance walked with more pep in their steps, Allura practically glowed, and Coran once more cracked jokes about the difference between Earthlings and Alteans, though all of his jokes were old and Hunk and Keith only chuckled to be nice.

And yet the words remained unspoken.

Even though everyone believed, with all their hearts, that they were going to find Pidge, no one had said it aloud. It was almost as if doing so would break the spell, would jinx their endeavors. At the thought, Shiro’s throat would tighten and he would forcefully remind himself that _she’s okay, we’ll find her, we’re on the way_.

Somehow, Shiro felt as if he was the only one that still had doubts. He didn’t want to have them—he wanted to be as calm and confident as everyone else, but it was so hard. But a hand on his shoulder and a gentle smile from Sam Holt made him swallow his nerves, and he forced a smile back. And in that moment, he realized that the older man was in the same boat. There was a tightness around his mouth, a tiredness in his eyes, but he was determined.

“We’re on our way, Shiro,” Sam assured him, and those simple words, while they didn’t hold the solid optimism that Hunk and Lance and Allura were thriving on, helped.

It had only been a few hours since Allura’s announcement, but he and Matt had been in Kuro’s hangar for much of that time as the latter installed the device he and his father had been talking about. Hunk and Sam Holt were in the hangar for the yellow lion doing the same thing with the device fitted for it. Shiro didn’t have the technical knowledge that Hunk did, so he could only pass Matt the parts he asked for and wait. And once that was done, the group reconvened and activated the devices before heading back up to the control room. Allura and Coran were still monitoring the progress and the location of the green lion from there, after all, and these devices were supposed to help track it faster.

He had always been an optimist at heart, although years of fighting the Galra had hardened him on the outside. Shiro had made many decisions that his previous self would never have agreed to, nor his current self, for that matter. It was part of the job. And somewhere along the way, a sense of realism had seeped through the cracks. He faced facts and possibilities more now, even if he didn’t care for them.

But Allura?

She had lost so much to the Galra, to Zarkon, and she was perhaps the most optimistic of all. She used words like _when_ instead of _if_ , and Shiro thought it made all the difference.

“Oh, good, you have your new devices installed already?” Allura beamed at the Holts, looking up as soon as they entered with Hunk and Shiro. Lance was pestering Coran as they looked over the console, bickering, but looked up and waved when the others walked in. And when Matt answered in the affirmative, the princess continued, “That’s fantastic! You work so quickly, gentlemen!”

Sam stepped forward with a cube in his hands. One of its faces was the size of his palm, and he held it out to the princess and explained matter-of-factly, “We also created this for your control room console. It should feed some of the information from the lions directly to you. While we don’t completely understand the bond between the lions and their paladins yet, we’re confident that this will at least help with some transmission, though you may need to consult Shiro and Hunk for more information from their respective lions.”

“Your family _does_ like to stay on top of technical advancements, doesn’t it?” Allura remarked lightly, beaming as she lifted the cube from the eldest Holt with gentle fingers. She turned it a few directions, examining it, and nodded. “Everything seems to be in order. Well done!”

As she spoke, she pressed the cube into a compartment Shiro felt like he’d never noticed before, and the designs on its six faces began to glow as the power ran through it. It started to spin, slowly, and some Altean script rolled across Allura’s screen. She read it aloud to herself, and then beamed.

“The signal is faint, but the castle is even picking it up now, too! _Very_ well done! I’m sure this will be of much use to us,” she laughed, and Shiro was once again struck by her ceaseless cheer. It seemed to scream, _we’re so close to finding her_! and that in itself was a huge relief. “My link with the green lion is more steady than it was, too, so I know we’re heading the right way. And soon enough, we’ll be able to pick up Galra activity in that sector. Once we know more about that, we’ll be able to open a wormhole and commence rescue or reunion operations.”

“Sweet!” Lance whooped, pumping a fist in the air and doing a little dance. Typical behavior for the lanky paladin, but such a relief to see again. His endless attempts at humor had never ceased, but even in just the few hours since they had located the green lion, he was able to deliver them with closer to his usual levels of energy. “While we wait, though, Hunk, can you make something to eat? I kinda didn’t have much lunch because of Allura’s bond-sensing thing and I’m _starving_.”

Hunk actually laughed, giving Lance a one-armed squeeze that made him utter a squeak in surprise. The bulky paladin definitely didn’t know his own strength, especially when it came to showing how big his heart was.

“Of course, buddy! I’ll whip something up for everyone. We’ve got a few people coming out of the pods soon, don’t we? Coran?”

“Indeed!” the Altean declared, a bit more loudly than necessary. “Remember my recipe on nutritious foods that are suitable for all palates, Hunk!” Coran waggled a finger at the paladin. “If you deviate from my recipe, some of our guests may not be able to stomach it!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hunk waved him off, “I got it, Coran. I’ve been cooking with alien goop for years, I think I can handle it.”

The younger paladins led the way from the room, Lance begging for specific snacks, and Coran dismissed himself quickly to follow, wailing about the inaccuracies of Hunk’s cooking expertise. Matt trailed out after and, when Allura assured him that she would be fine, Shiro finally turned to go. Sam walked at his sides, hands clasped behind his back in a relaxed position. The posture, the ease with which the older man slipped into it, was only proof that military training stuck with a person. It seemed that his time in the Garrison was still ingrained more strongly than the horrors of a Galran prison facility, but Shiro knew better than anyone that _those_ memories lingered, under the skin, just beyond the reaches of conscious thought.

He wondered how they were doing with the nightmares.

Echoing footsteps rang throughout the corridor, with Lance’s excited voice already far ahead with Hunk and Coran. Somewhere between, Keith was talking with Matt, listening with interest as the older man gestured to accompany his explanation. Shiro watched quietly, walking with Commander Holt, as the others disappeared around the next corner. He was glad to have his best friend back, and he was even happier to see that Matt was already opening up to the rest of the castle’s inhabitants. The only thing that could have made the situation any more perfect, aside from an end to the war with Zarkon, would have been the presence of Pidge.

It had been nearly three hours since they had set a course to the green lion, and the worry still lurked in the back of his mind. _We know where the lion is and that it’s coming toward the castle, but is it doing it on its own or with Pidge’s help? We haven’t heard from Pidge yet, though. The green lion probably crashed, so there were probably repairs to make. Was she able to do them? Was she injured in the process? And if she was, how bad are they?_ His mind kept plaguing him with questions, images of the petite woman in pain. And then the voice of reason started to drive ice-cold knives into his chest as it ground out, _How do we even know that she’s still al—_

“Shiro,” the voice made him physically start, turning to look at his companion. He realized that he was breathing more heavily than normal, and a bead of sweat dripped down one side of his face. _Oh, shit_.

“Y-yeah?” he stood a little straighter, took a deep breath, and tried to focus his attention on Commander Holt.

They had stopped in the hallway. When Shiro belatedly realized that, embarrassment shot through him. He was supposed to be a calm, collected leader, but he was still completely useless when Pidge wasn’t around. When he didn’t know how she was, he was completely lost.

After several long seconds, Sam sighed and leaned against the wall, looking up at the ceiling. Words started, and at first Shiro could only listen, confused, as the commander told him, “Katie was always a clever girl, you know. When she was seven, she could beat Matt at chess on a regular basis, though he won’t _ever_ admit it. And when she was nine, she took apart my Garrison-issued tablet just for fun, without damaging anything. She had it mostly put back together by the time Matt caught her in the act and helped her finish putting it back together. He later told me, after getting a scolding from their mother, that Katie had done almost all of it. Even then, he was proud of his baby sister. _She’s a genius, Dad_ , he told me. _She’s gonna do big things_.”

“Commander…?”

“Look at her now, Shiro,” the older man looked down from the ceiling, smiling. “I always told you, back on the Kerberos mission, to watch out for our little Katie. She has a one-track mind and the goal is always _success_ and it’s always driven by curiosity, by the desire for knowledge. And by the need to do the right thing. We always told you she was going to do great things...and she has been. All this time, she’s been out here doing _amazing_ things that we would never have _dreamed_ of. Fighting the Galra, becoming part of the Voltron Alliance not only as a member of the human race but as one of the five paladins of Voltron itself—it’s almost too much to believe that the little thirteen year old daughter I left on Earth has been putting herself in danger for so long while I’ve been wasting away in a prison.”

Shiro felt his throat tighten. He could see the glimmer in Sam Holt’s eyes, the telltale sign of tears, and it made it hard for him to speak, but he managed to say, “Of course she’d be doing great things. She’s a Holt. You’re all made out of the same stuff, and it’s sturdier stock than most.”

Sam smiled at the attempt at a joke, however bad it was. That was a comfort, at least.

“I heard it was you who went with her to find the green lion,” he started again. “I wish I could have seen that. I wish I could have seen how she grew into the woman she is today...but I’m glad that you were there to see it. If it couldn’t be one of us, I’m glad it was you, Shiro. You’re the closest thing to family that she could have had all this time, so...thank you. Thank you for looking after her all this time. Thank you for standing next to her, for supporting her, and for caring for her. You’ve done all the things I couldn’t do, and I can never repay you enough. But...there’s still one thing I’d like to ask for, if I could...”

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Shiro shook his head and answered, “Of course. You can ask for anything, sir,” and after a moment, he had to protest, “but I really haven’t done anything. Pi—Katie has done everything on her own to get here. She didn’t need anyone’s help, and she rarely asked for it on the way. Honestly, sir, she’s been a bigger help to me than I’ve been to her, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I think...I think she’ll _always_ do great things, and all I can do is watch where she goes and support her.”

 _She’ll always do great things_ , he told himself, _because she’s still out there, and we’re going to get her back._

“Yes, I think she will, too. But I think you’ve helped more than you seem to think, Shiro,” Sam pushed off the wall, patting Shiro on the back. “Let’s be on our way for a snack, no? And on the way...could you tell me more about it? What you’ve all done to get here? What _Katie_ has done to get here?”

Of course he wanted to know what they had been through. It had been years since he had seen his daughter, only to find out that one of the defenders of the universe, one of the crew that helped save him, had been that same child. Any parent, or family member, would want to know the circumstances that had led up to that point, and who was Shiro to deny him that right?

Shiro found himself reaching out to grasp the commander’s shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. With a soft smile, he asked, “What do you want to know first? I’ll tell you everything I remember.”

* * *

 

The next two hours were filled with normal post-liberation activities. The paladins checked up on those who had been in the pods, asked how they were doing and if everything was well, and guided the wobbly-legged people from the healing pods to the kitchen. One thing that they all knew well was how ravenous one felt after coming out of the healing stasis, and Hunk was more than ready to feed the six new hungry mouths—and any others that wanted a snack.

This group marked a vital point, though. They were the last ones to be healed, aside from the two humans that refused until the safe return of the missing paladin. And they included those that had helped Shiro and Pidge find all of the prisoners in the first place. Ullax, her father, the twin brothers that had guided Shiro, all of whom had waited as long as they could in the hopes that their savior would be back before they were healed or before they woke up from the pods. It was with mixed feelings that Shiro explained they had found the location of the green lion and were on their way to pick it up.

Ullax bit her lip, tilting her head down in a show of sympathy and apology. Shiro wished he could say more to ease her worries, and that of the rest of their guests, but he was no better off. He wanted her back, too. A part of him whispered that he wanted her back the _most_ , but he forced the thought down, lightly patting the alien’s shoulder and assuring her that the paladins and princess were all doing their best.

“The green one will be found, yes?” she asked him suddenly, looking up. “This one is worried for the green paladin. There was much about the green lion, but this one realized that nothing has been said about the state of its paladin.”

The lump in his throat was back, and Shiro closed his eyes against the flash of amber in his memory, trying to focus on the young alien before him.

“We...we don’t know about the condition of its paladin,” he admitted, though the words were a bit forced. “We believe that she is piloting the lion, but we can’t establish a communication link, so we’re not sure.”

Once more, the slender alien turned her head down, and then said in a small voice, “This one hopes to find her well.”

“So do we,” before Shiro could try to answer, Hunk slipped in and placed a bowl of some sort of food goo in front of Ullax. “Just sit tight, and we’ll find her. Just wait!”

She nodded, and Shiro left Hunk to his usual routine of cheering up the recently healed, telling them what was in their bowls, asking if they’d be fine, if it was edible, and generally being a much better host than Shiro could. His mind was still swimming with green armor and amber eyes, a mischievous smirk and the glare of a computer screen reflecting off of glasses in the dead of night. And, maybe even more than that, the feeling of holding her petite form in his arms and squeezing her tightly came back to him, vividly. It was something he had often desired but never found the courage to do until he saw her fleeting desire of the same thing flit across the paladin bond. Instinct had taken over, the urge to protect what he held dear and to comfort her, and the best way was to soothe her by taking her in his arms.

He remembered how she had calmed, how she had looked up at him and seemed better for the hug. Shiro remembered all the ways she promised to be careful, to be safe...and he remembered the way she had yelled, almost desperately, for Allura to stop the wormhole and the final words she’d said to him, or at all before her separation. The echoes of her plea to keep her family safe bounced around inside his mind, and Shiro couldn’t escape from it. But...they were close.

“We’ll find her,” the words slipped out, and though he was speaking more to himself than to anyone, he saw Hunk look up quickly and then the younger man smiled. Shiro faltered, but smiled back, and then excused himself, slipping back into the hallway as Lance started to talk. He was trying to cheer everyone up, and it would probably work better if Shiro wasn’t just standing awkwardly around.

And so he decided to awkwardly wander around the castle, as if that would do him any good. But the Holts were decoding more of Pidge’s files in her workshop and he didn’t want to disturb them. As distracted as he was, he didn’t trust himself to be the kind of host for their guests as he usually was, and Hunk and Lance could more than handle that. Keith was probably training, but Shiro didn’t think he’d be able to focus on that, either, so he didn’t go that way.

He found himself outside a door. It wouldn’t have been a problem if it was any other door, but for some reason his feet had taken him to _her_ door.

Shiro couldn’t help himself. He laughed aloud, just a chuckle, really, and leaned his forehead against the door. He wouldn’t open it and he wouldn’t go in, because that was her space and she was entitled to privacy, even when she wasn’t around. But he did stand there, head resting against the cool metal as he imagined that she was safely tucked inside, snoozing or reading or tinkering.

And, just to himself, he murmured, “ _Katie_ ,” to the closed door, his breath leaving a patch of condensation for only seconds before it cleared.

Before he could do anything else, he heard the intercom buzz to life and stood up, waiting.

“Paladins of Voltron and the Holt gentlemen! Come to the command deck at once! I repeat, paladins and Holt gentlemen, come here! _Immediately_!”

Shiro hadn’t even waited for the princess to finish. He was running as fast as his legs would carry him, barely using the necessary caution when rounding corners. He was probably lucky that he saw the Holts hurrying at a distance, because he forced himself to calm and slow to their pace and head to the control room with them.

“Shiro, what is it?” Matt asked as soon as he saw him. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know,” was, unfortunately, the only answer he could give. “The princess will tell us when we get there, so let’s hurry.”

“Right!”

Sam Holt remained silent, but Shiro saw the tightness of his jaw and the way he nodded, jerkily, in response to Shiro’s nod of greeting. And the paladin slipped ahead to lead the way, but kept to a pace that the Holts could keep up with.

_What if they found her? What if there’s trouble? What if she’s injured?_

The thoughts were running through his mind, but Shiro shook his head to get them out.

_She’s fine._

He told himself that, trying to be firm and confident. It was hard to do, especially when his years out here had hardened him to think realistically instead of optimistically, but _dammit_ , she had to be fine. He didn’t know what he’d do if she wasn’t.

 _She’s fine, and maybe Allura’s made contact_.

He took a deep breath as their destination came into view. He saw Keith ducking inside, and heard Hunk babbling from down the hall.

“—it the Galra? Have they found us? We can’t form Voltron right now, not without Pidge! Have you picked up a signal from her yet? Is—”

“Shut up!” Keith almost snapped even though he’d only just arrived. “She’ll tell us when Shiro and the Holts get here!”

“We’re here,” Shiro announced as he slipped in the door, taking up his customary space in the center of the younger paladins. Matt and the commander slipped up next to him, and with a twinge of recognition, he realized that it was the same place that Pidge usually stood. He turned his attention back to Allura and asked, “What’s the emergency, princess?”

It was then that he noticed her shining eyes. Her cheeks were wet, and he started to fear the worst. Had she learned what had happened to Pidge? Was it really that awful? Had the Galra caught up to her…?!

But then the princess hiccuped in a way that was almost more like a sob and laughed.

“Pidge...Pidge made contact!”

“ _What_?!” Hunk cried, eyes widening, and then started to ask rapid question. “When was this? Like, how many seconds or minutes or whatever ago? How far away is she now? Is she alright? Can she hear us talking right now? _Is she okay—_ wait, did I already say that?”

“Holy crow, Hunk, _let her finish_!” Shiro had the feeling that, if Lance were standing closer to Hunk, he would have covered the big guy’s mouth. As it was, Hunk cut himself short even as he started to ask another question, shot a sheepish glance at the Holts, and turned back

“Yeah, princess, please!” he prompted her.

Shiro didn’t trust himself to speak, so he trained his attention on Allura.

“The words were unclear,” she finally said, wiping at her eyes, “but it was definitely a comm from Pidge. I’ll...I’ll play it for you, just a moment.”

She reached forward to mess with some knobs on the dash, her hands shaking. Coran, who had been standing aside as usual, actually stepped forward to help her. And in a few moments, the sound of static permeated the air.

And then her voice.

“ _P...cess! Com...n, All...a! It’s P...! This...Pidge sp...king. I have l...ted the Cas...f Lions and...on my way._ ”

After the clip ended, the electricity in the air was tangible. It was almost like everyone was waiting on someone else to make the first move, but then Hunk made a strange sound that led into a triumphant cheer. Lance followed, tossing an arm around Keith’s shoulder. Even Keith was beaming, his arm slipping around Lance’s waist as the energetic paladin spun them in a circle.

“Katie…” Shiro heard Matt’s voice crack, and he glanced down to see hope shining from his best friends features, his eyes filling with moisture. The commander wasn’t much different, but he wrapped a comforting arm around his son’s shoulder.

“It’s her,” he whispered. “That’s my girl.”

Shiro, despite himself, looked up at Coran and asked, “Could...could you play it again?”

With a knowing smile, Coran pressed a few buttons again. As Pidge’s voice rang through the room again, Sam Holt pressed a gentle palm to Shiro’s back and assured him, voice tremulous with emotion, “She’s a strong girl, Shiro. You told me that yourself.”

And, with a relieved chuckle, he responded, “The strongest of them all, sir.”

Worry still pooled in the pit of his stomach, but now he had heard her voice, and knew she was still out there. Now it was a race to find the lone green lion before the Galra did, and it was a race that no one was willing to lose.

_We’re almost there._

* * *

 

“The signal’s still patchy,” Pidge groaned. It had been at least an hour since she had made contact with the princess, and her communication link was no stronger than the last time. She hadn’t tried to send another message yet, but neither had Allura, so maybe they were both on the same page.

Making contact proved that she was alive, and the bittersweet feeling of hearing a familiar voice but only fragments of the words was something Pidge wasn’t sure she could take much more of. She had only been alone for three and a half days or so, but without her fellow paladins and their Altean benefactors, it had felt like so much longer.

She wanted to send another message. She wanted to try the comm link again and say _fuck it_ to the patchy connection...but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. The next time she made contact, she wanted to hear full sentences in response, and she wanted Allura to be able to hear everything that she told her, too.

“The next system looks relatively peaceful so far, according to our records,” Pidge noted aloud, patting the dash. “Maybe I’ll have better luck getting in touch with the princess when we get there. What do you think, Greenie?”

A positive rumble sounded, and Pidge smiled. It would only take her about thirty more minutes to get to the next system, and if she could get in contact with the others from there it would be fantastic. As long as it was peaceful at the Castle of Lions and for Pidge, Allura would be able to open a wormhole and she would finally get to go _home_. Well, it wasn’t _home_ , but it was the closest she could get and it was a damn good substitute.

And right now, three of the four most important people to her were inside it.

 _Dad. Matt. Shiro. I’m on my way_.

Pidge couldn’t count how many times she’d already silently told them she was coming, that she was getting closer, but what could one more hurt? As a logical being, she knew that they couldn’t hear her, but it made her feel better to get the words out. She’d never been the kind to advocate little comforts like that, because she’d believed them useless, but she felt like her years out here, while they had hardened her into a warrior, had also softened her towards others, and towards the concept of _emotions_.

That thought reminded her of something the princess had said, just days ago, and she felt her face grow warm at the memory.

_It’s okay to like him, Pidge!_

It was something that she hadn’t expected. Her feelings for Shiro, anyway. Pidge had always been a very goal-oriented sort of person. It was find her dad and Matt, but also help defend and save the universe in the process. There were late nights and several swears while she worked on some sort of technology, or decoding her information, and even hours where she watched as the Dryden system, and the planet her dad and brother were on, drifted farther and farther away.

There were nights she cried herself to sleep because she was exhausted and missed her family, but she had kept everything to herself. Until just about a week ago now, when Shiro had stumbled across her in one of her moments. And, surprising even herself, she’d opened up.

Allura’s words rang again through her head, and though it was something she had already known, acceptance washed over her like a breath of fresh air.

“I like Shiro,” she murmured to herself, testing the words on her tongue. They felt so right that it almost scared her, but her heartbeat sped up and she knew it was true. Finally acknowledging it for the first time was nerve-wracking but Pidge could feel the warmth flooding through her. Although it might make it awkward for her to face him again, she couldn’t wait to see him. If there was anyone she wanted to see as much as she wanted to see her family, it was definitely Takashi Shirogane. And, with another shaky breath, she said it again, louder. “I like him.”

In her mind, a childish voice corrected her with, _like-like_ , but she ignored it.

Greenie sent a series of images through the bond that confused Pidge at first, but finally she felt the questioning tone and laughed a little bit. The lion was worrying about the sudden mood spike, from bitter to giggling.

“I’m fine, Greenie,” Pidge assured the lion. And then a thought pressed at her, and she asked tentatively, “Did you already know that I liked Shiro?”

The answering whir was almost indignant, and a series of images—and of _feelings_ —flashed so quickly through their mental link that Pidge almost couldn’t keep up. But she had, and it left her flushing as she realized it was a slew of the two of them together. She and Shiro, talking softly after a mission, or while she was working on the green lion and he was keeping her company. It was a bunch of memories of the two of them together, and Greenie seemed incredibly pleased with herself.

“I get it, I get it, I’m apparently obvious!” she groaned. “Let’s talk about something else. How about some stats on the next system before we get there?”

The displays reacted accordingly and Pidge started to sort through some of the information that the lion had been able to provide. Greenie was reluctant to let the topic go, though, and she continued to send a warm, cozy feeling through the bond. Pidge recognized it as one of her own that must have crossed the bond, because it was the same as it had been prior to the mission, when she had shared that incredibly warm, protective hug with Shiro.

As any mature adult would do, Pidge promptly started to ignore her lion’s teasing, instead deciphering the glitchy Altean text on her screens.

* * *

 

It had probably been about six hours since her transmission when the monitor beeped, jerking her out of a doze, to inform her that the communication link strength had finally improved. It was mediocre at best, but Pidge felt excitement swell in her chest as she sat up straighter. Her knee gave a twinge of discomfort, and she winced a little. Her pain medication was about to wear off, and she wasn’t looking forward to it, but she pushed the thought aside to type in a code on her dash.

The words appeared on her screen and Pidge transferred them over to a new one. She had a third screen working, after spending a few moments tinkering beneath the dash in-flight, and it was much better for her map’s display than the tiny, glitchy one it had been on.

“Give me coordinates,” she murmured, typing a few more things in so that the results of her scans would transfer to her other clear screen. And after a few seconds, Pidge beamed at the distance, time, and even coordinates of the Castle of Lions as they showed up on her screen. She could tell the exact time they would meet and where, if the castle and the green lion continued at their current velocity and trajectory. And, an added bonus, she could scan her current area and she _knew_ that she was currently free of any Galra threat. It was the most at ease she had felt in nearly four days.

 _And now I should be able to contact the princess_ , she told herself, setting up the link. It took a few seconds longer to connect than she would have liked, but then her dash told her that the link had been established and that it was moderately stable. She only heard a little static on the line, nothing compared to her first contact.

Pidge took a deep breath, more nervous than she cared to admit, and prepared herself.

“Princess?” she asked, almost tentatively, before putting more conviction into her tone. “Allura, it’s me. It’s Pidge. I’m in the Solamen system now. Allura, do you copy?”

She waited for several seconds and started to fear that it had failed. She was trying to decide between trying again or shutting the communication off and making her way closer, all while trying not to burst into panicked tears, before she heard shuffling and a voice ask, “Number five, is that you?!”

“Coran!” Pidge breathed in relief, and then couldn’t help but laugh. The jibe at her height never died, but she couldn’t even find it in her to be indignant this time. Not when his voice had been clear and she’d even heard the twang of his accent. “Yeah, Coran, it’s me.”

The older Altean let out a stream of jubilation in his own language, which Pidge could only half understand under the circumstances, and then he asked, “I heard you say something about a system, but I didn’t catch it—where are you? Is it peaceful? Have you run into any Galra since you were separated? Hang on, let me call the princess!”

She heard him shuffle and then ask for the princess on the castle’s intercom and then he asked, “Well?”

“I’m in the Solamen system,” Pidge repeated slowly, and waited for a soft, “Oh!” from Coran as he checked the maps and charts. “I haven’t detected any Galra influence in this sector yet, and from what my information says, it’s a relatively peaceful area. The last Galra I ran into were in the last system, but it doesn’t seem like they’ve followed me.”

“—ran, what was the purpose of calling me with the castle’s intercom?” Pidge heard the princess asking, likely as she entered the room, her voice mildly irritated. The paladin ignored the burning in her eyes and the tightness in her chest, taking another breath to calm herself.

“Princess!” Pidge called, in an attempt to save Coran from a scolding. “Is that you?”

“ _Pidge_?!” there was a gasp, and then her voice was even closer. “Pidge, thank _goodness_. Where are you? Are you well? Have you—”

“She’s in the Solamen system, and all charts say that it is peaceful,” Coran cut in. “Number five says that she can’t find any evidence of Galran influence, either.”

“I wasn’t asking you, I was asking Pidge!” Allura’s tone was impatient, and Pidge couldn’t help but snort. It was pretty typical of her. The princess had a fairly one-track mind, after all. It was something Pidge had learned fairly early on, when Allura had tried to force them to form Voltron by testing the castle’s defenses on the team. “Well, Pidge, was he right? Is your current sector peaceful? And you’ve not seen any Galra or Galran influence where you are?”

“He’s right,” Pidge answered, “I—”

“Great! Solamen system, yes? Let me see—” her eager tone cut Pidge off, and a few seconds passed, before she heard the princess again, “—yes! This is it! Pidge, can you still hear me?”

“Copy.”

“Good! In approximately two minutes, I will be opening a wormhole at the following coordinates within the Solamen system,” she announced, and then read off a series of numbers that Pidge quickly noted down. “Come straight back, Pidge!”

“Understood, Allura,” Pidge felt the warmth spreading through her chest. “I will.”

 _This is it,_ she told herself triumphantly. _I’m finally going back to the castle. I’ll finally get to see Dad and Matt again. And...and I’ll get to see Shiro, too._

With that in mind, Pidge punched in the coordinates that Allura had given her and turned towards the estimated location.

“We’re almost there, Greenie,” she murmured, hand lightly patting the dash again. An excited rumble echoed throughout, and Pidge laughed. Happy images of the castle, of the other lions, and of all the paladins flashed through their shared connection, and the pool of warmth only grew. “I bet Allura’s telling everyone, first. We’ll have a welcoming committee, huh?”

There was a whirring sound, and another indication of the affirmative from Greenie. And then, in front of them, she saw the wormhole appear, slowly opening until it was whole.

“The portal is open, Pidge,” Allura’s voice came back through her helmet. “Do you see it?”

“Yeah, it’s right here,” Pidge was nearly breathless. The anticipation she felt was drawing the air from her lungs, and the crushing weight of finally being so close didn’t help that. But she swallowed and said, “I’m coming through.”

“See you soon,” the princess spoke softly, and the paladin smiled.

“Yeah,” she breathed, and then she urged Greenie forward. The tug of the wormhole made some of the damaged parts of the lion creak, but nothing would be damaged any worse. Every second seemed to last far longer than it actually was, probably because of the very real, very _fresh_ memories of the last time she’d been in a wormhole. It felt like ages, but in almost no time at all, she could see the Castle of Lions waiting on the other side.

A few more ticks, and then they were free of the wormhole. Greenie was rocketing toward the hangar, mostly of its own accord. Pidge didn’t blame her lion at all; she was just as eager to be back, if not even moreso than the lion. She even felt a slight burning sensation in her eyes, which she tried to ignore, as the doors to the green lion’s hangar opened of their own accord and Greenie slipped inside. They dropped, gently, to the floor, and the lion settled down so that Pidge would be able to walk down the ramp.

“I’ll get back out here to fix you up as soon as I can, Greenie,” Pidge patted the dash, exhaling slowly. The feeling she received in return was almost like _take your time_ , and she laughed. “I’m not going to leave you in this condition for very long. I owe you more than that, you know!”

The lion snorted, or at least Pidge assumed it was a snort, and then sent the paladin a view from the outside as the hangar doors slid open and a figure bolted inside. She’d recognize that tuft of white hair anywhere. Her stomach twisted, and Pidge gave the dash one last pat before turning and heading toward the exit of the lion. Her right knee screamed in protest, and she stumbled a little, but after catching herself on the cockpit’s door frame, she pushed herself to continue moving.

She had to get to him.

 _Shiro_.

When she stumbled out into the light of the hangar, Shiro reached the bottom of her ramp and looked up at her, eyes wide, and it took all of her energy not to try to run to him. He started up the ramp towards her, and she took a step towards him. As she took another step, her right knee once again protested, and the world started tilting.

“ _Katie_!” his voice was surprised, but soft, and when her head stopped spinning from the pain, she could focus on the fact that he had reached her before she’d fallen. Her hands were on his shoulders, and his arms were around her. Shiro’s arms were holding her up, supporting her weight, and she felt her face warm just a little at the thought.

Pidge pushed herself back, away from his chest for a few moments, and then blinked up at him, examining his face. His eyes were full of worry but also relief and, if she wasn’t just being hopeful, they seemed to be reflecting a little bit of what she was feeling back at her. And after a few moments of searching his expression, she gave in and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her nose against the column of his throat even as her eyes prickled once more.

His arms tightened around her, and he tucked his head against her hair. The breath he took in was as shaky as she felt, and her fingers dug into the material of his shirt as her tears started to run. She couldn’t even bring herself to protest their proximity with the excuse that she hadn’t showered in days or that she must smell terrible because Shiro’s arms were big and warm and comfortable and she finally felt completely _safe_ again, for the first time in days.

“I...I’m back,” she managed, her voice barely above a mumble. Pidge squeezed him tighter and bit back a sob as she repeated herself again, though she wasn’t sure whether she was trying to comfort Shiro or herself more, “ _I’m back_.”

“ _Thank God_ ,” Shiro breathed, his warm breath washing across her ear and a crack in his voice. “ _Thank God you’re okay._ ”


	12. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Instead, she basked in the warmth of her brother’s hug, in the feeling of being close to someone she thought she might never see again. And his soft words, love and insults strewn together as only true family would ever dare, made happiness bubble to life in her chest, reaching to the tips of her toes and blanketing her entire existence in something so comforting that she could scarcely breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo here we go!
> 
> Here's chapter 12! It's a little bit late because of work and because of the first chapter of [Next Level](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8147897/chapters/18673073), a Klance online gaming AU that I've been planning for about a month and wrote over the greater part of last week. The next chapter may also be delayed because I'm going to start working on the next chapter of [Café au Lait](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7825351/chapters/17862583) since I've had an ask on tumblr about it, but expect chapter 13 around mid-October at the latest!
> 
> (Are these shameless plugs for my other fics? Why yes, yes they are.)
> 
> Anyway, thank you all for reading, and thanks for your patience! Hope you enjoy!

 

Pidge wished she could stay exactly where she was for the rest of forever. It was comfortable, and her heart was racing in only the best of ways. Shiro’s arms were just as warm as she remembered, and in them she felt protected. She kind of thought she’d _always_ feel that way around him, and not just because he was her trusted leader. Her arms tightened a litttle around him, the tears still prickling the corners of her eyes as she stubbornly fought against the sob in her throat.

She wanted him to hold her closer, and he did, just slightly, when her arms tightened around him. But Pidge was reminded, with a sharp pain, that tight hugs probably weren’t the best.

“ _Ow_ ,” the sound came out as more of a whimper than anything else, barely audible, but Shiro pulled back immediately. When he did so, she nearly crumpled from putting weight on her knee, and his hands were immediately steadying her, his voice asking if she was alright. She could only just understand his words, her fingers digging into his shoulders to help keep her upright.

“Pidge, are you okay?” was the first sentence she completely heard and undersood, and then, more urgently, “ _Katie_?”

“I-I’m fine, I’ll be fine,” she forced out, though she avoided his eyes. Her head was still spinning, just a little, as all of her aches and pains started plaguing her now that the initial rush of her homecoming had dulled.

“ _Pidge_ …” she looked up slowly, reading the concern in his eyes, and all the lies on her lips, the assurances that everything was perfect, died in her throat. He was so relieved to have her there, and so worried about her, that she didn’t want to...no, she _couldn’t_ lie to him.

With a shaky breath, she finally mumbled, “My knee’s pretty badly sprained from the crash, and I think...I think there’s some bruising on my ribs. Among other, less consequential bumps and scrapes,” she laughed a little dryly, trying to make light of the situation.

His hands gentled even more, fingertips warm on her skin. She watched as his attention trailed downwards, searching. She was wearing an old pair of basketball shorts, so her knee was visible, with all of its swelling and bruising. He sucked in a breath and then raised his gaze back to her eyes, brow furrowed with concern.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked her, though his tone wasn’t at all accusatory, just questioning. Pidge’s heart squeezed painfully when she realized there were bags under his eyes. She couldn’t believe she’d worried him so much. He didn’t need anything cutting into his already patchy sleep schedule, least of all fretting about her. Guilt flooded her stomach. “You could have told us over the comms so we could prepare a pod for you in the infirmary.”

“I…” _was too excited to be back_ , she wanted to say. And then she was filled with the urge to apologize, the emotions mingling until she started to speak in a rush, “I just—”

Whatever she _just_ was or wanted, though, fled her mind completely when a breathless voice called “ _Katie?!_ ” almost frantically from behind Shiro. She _knew_ that voice, and had only heard it in a brief _thank you_ in all of the last five years. Other frantic calls of “ _Pidge!_ ” and Hunk’s frantic rambling could also be heard, but she’d picked out that one voice above the others and was almost hyper-aware of it and of its owner.

Sensing her urgency as she tried to peer around him, Shiro steadied her and stooped to pull her arm over his shoulder, his prosthetic arm around her back for support. Pidge opened her mouth to ask him what he was doing, because he was so much taller that it wouldn’t help her walk, but he cut her off with a, “This might hurt a little,” and she let out a startled and slightly pained yelp as the world tilted yet again.

And then she was in the air.

“Sh-Sh-Shiro!” she barely managed to say his full name, clinging to his torso as he turned so that she could face the others. Her face burned from embarrassment at being held in a princess carry by Shiro, of all people, but it wasn’t too hard to ignore when she saw the hopeful, worried faces at the bottom of the ramp.

“I can’t let you walk with that knee,” her captain’s voice rang in her ears, and she felt the rumble through the chest beneath her fingertips. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, quickening as she became increasingly aware of the arms that hefted her. “C’mon, let’s get you to the infirmary.”

“Food first, please?” she asked weakly. “I want to…”

Her eyes met with a very similar pair among those staring up at them, and she couldn’t finish her sentence. She wanted to eat a meal with her father and brother before the fog of the healing pod took her away for a few hours. She wanted to assure everyone that she would be okay, and that she was in one piece. Mostly. But she wasn’t sure how exactly to say that when her brother’s amber eyes were boring into hers.

Shiro seemed to sense what she wanted, though. He was always an observant man, and he shifted her in his arms, just slightly, before he started moving down the ramp. Hunk, even though he was chewing on a handkerchief with tears in his eyes, stepped aside so that she could reach the two she’d been most anxious to see.

 _Aside from Shiro_ , her mind whispered, and she let it. _The two I was most anxious to see aside from Shiro._

It was true enough, no matter how guilty it made her feel.

“Matt,” she managed, twisting her torso a little to face him from her place in Shiro’s arms. And then she turned her eyes to her father as they started to prickle and breathed, “Dad…”

“What were you _thinking_?!” Matt demanded, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her torso, even though she still in Shiro’s arms. Matt didn’t seem to care, so she decided she wouldn’t either. She remained entirely aware of where she was, but Pidge released her grip on him and returned her brother’s shaky embrace. Shiro was strong and she trusted him—even if she wasn’t holding onto him, he wouldn’t drop her.

And she was more than a little reluctant to ask him to put her down, because he was keeping her weight off of her knee and she loved the feeling of being carried, though she might never admit that aloud.

Instead, she basked in the warmth of her brother’s hug, in the feeling of being close to someone she thought she might never see again. And his soft words, love and insults strewn together as only true family would ever dare, made happiness bubble to life in her chest, reaching to the tips of her toes and blanketing her entire existence in something so comforting that she could scarcely breathe.

“You’re a stupid, _stupid_ little genius, Katie-cat,” Matt muttered in her hair, his voice tight. “Why didn’t you tell us, right when you rescued us? Why didn’t you let _them_ tell us?”

“Obviously they told you anyway,” she chose to ignore that he’d called her stupid and contradicted it with _genius_...and that he’d used the childhood nickname she’d hoped he’d forgotten. She overlooked it because she was happy to see him again, and just this once she’d let him get away with it. “I was more concerned about getting you to safety. If you knew it was me, would you still have climbed into the black lion and left me behind to guard your escape?”

“Of course not,” he mumbled, almost sullenly, as he pulled away from her. Pidge was careful to let go before she was pulled straight out of Shiro’s arms, and noticed that Matt’s eyes were shiny and he was making no move to hide the tears that were sliding down his cheeks. She could feel her own making tracks on her skin, burning. “I would have stayed behind to protect _you_.”

She giggled and quipped, “I’d like to see you try!” and then Matt reached forward to ruffle her hair with a short laugh, clearing his throat. He looked like he had more he wanted to say, but he cast a glance in the direction of their father, who stepped forward slowly. Sam Holt came forward to put a hand on his son’s shoulder, smiling at Matt, and then his smile turned to her. His eyes were wet, but the tears weren’t falling. He stepped forward and Pidge found herself at a loss for words as he gently wrapped his arms around her and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

“Dad…” her voice was slightly choked now, but she opened her mouth three or four times to try to speak. Nothing came out no matter how hard she tried, and her father only continued to smile in that knowing way he had.

“Look at you, Katie,” her father beamed at her, and his voice was a little wobbly when he spoke but he held firm. This was the kindest man she had ever known, the one who had raised her since birth, and his words were just as soft as she remembered. “I told you that you’d do great things, go to places we couldn’t even _dream_ of going to. And here you are, doing just that.”

“Dad, I’m—” _sorry_? She wasn’t sure what she had been preparing to say, but she stopped when he pressed another kiss to the top of her head. There was no stopping the tears running down her cheeks, and there was no way for her to speak. With Matt, it had almost been easy to tease him, but it was so hard to say anything to her father. Pidge wanted to apologize, to tell him that she loved him, but—

“I am so proud of you.”

Warmth pooled in the pit of her stomach, and she nearly sobbed. After she’d started to fear she’d never get to hear her father’s voice again, this was a dream come true. In her worst days, or the nights when she had nightmares, she’d always worried that he’d never know what she’d been doing or how much she had accomplished, and the thought had made her weak. But she could hear it. His words were far from empty, and he truly was proud of everything that she had done, even though it was dangerous.

“I missed you,” she struggled to get the words out. “I missed you both so much.”

“There wasn’t a single day where we didn’t think of you and your mother,” the commander assured her, finally pulling his hand away from her cheek. “Not a day _will_ ever pass where I don’t think of both of my wonderful children and my caring wife, back home. And even if we’re only a room away from each other, I will _always_ miss you when we’re apart.”

“If you thought for a second I didn’t miss my crazy smart little sister, you’re _insane_ ,” Matt tried to tease, but he was still sniffling as he stepped forward again and mussed her hair. He’d wiped the tears on his cheeks, and then he smiled, “Now...didn’t you say you were hungry?”

“I’m on it!” Hunk’s voice was loud, and he rested a light hand on Pidge’s shoulder with a watery smile before turning and calling, “To the dining room! I’ll whip us all up a quick snack, and then we can put this stubborn group of Holts into the healing pods!”

Pidge could tell that Hunk wanted to grab her, to pick her up and spin her like he did whenever someone came out of the healing pods after a nasty accident, but he was refraining. And Lance whooped, passing by and roughly messing with her hair, almost like her brother had done, grinning at her.

“Glad you’re back, Pidgeroo,” he taunted with full knowledge of the fact that she hated the nickname.

“Don’t call me that!” she protested halfheartedly, but he was already following Hunk out of the hangar. Keith passed and squeezed her lightly on the shoulder with a rare grin, and then Shiro started walking towards the door with her in his arms.

Coran slipped by them with a hearty, “Welcome back, number five!” and a fistpump, which he must have learned from Lance. He bustled ahead to catch up with Hunk, and then Allura stepped beside them and her hand lightly touched Pidge’s shoulder.

The princess smiled at her, a relieved smile, but the paladin didn’t miss the bags under _her_ eyes as well. Allura leaned forward then and pressed her lips gently to Pidge’s cheek, an Altean tradition of reunions that wasn’t unlike some European habits from Earth, and said softly, “Welcome back to the Castle of Lions, Paladin. We’ll talk more about where you’ve been all this time once you’ve eaten and healed.”

She smiled again and then moved ahead, resting a hand lightly on Commander Holt’s shoulder before stepping up pas Lance and Keith to speak to Coran.

Pidge was left with Shiro as company, with her father and brother walking and conversing softly before her. She really should have protested the way Shiro continued to carry her, but she liked the feeling of being safe in his arms, so instead she thought of something Hunk had said and demanded, “What did Hunk mean when he said that we could put this _stubborn group of Holts_ in the healing pods?”

Shiro grimaced a little, but Pidge would not relent.

“He said it in the plural,” Shiro made a sound of confirmation. She narrowed her eyes at him and then glanced at her father and brother, where they kept looking back at her every few seconds from their few paces ahead as if to make sure she was still there. As if she could go anywhere when Shiro was carrying her—as if she _wanted_ to go anywhere. She banished the thought as quickly as she could and pressed on, searching Shiro’s gaze as she did so. “As in I’m not the only Holt that needs a healing pod. Almost like my dad and brother haven’t been healed yet.”

With a sigh, Shiro finally gave in.

“They’ve refused,” he looked down at her as she stared incredulously back. “They refused to get in the pods until we had you back.”

“Those _idiots_ ,” she hissed under her breath, glaring at her brother’s back. And her eyes swiveled back to Shiro’s face and she suddenly had to tell herself _not_ to stare at his jawline from this angle, what was _wrong_ with her, before she could ask, “Why did you let them do that?”

He laughed a little and then, with a sort of half-grin that did strange things to her stomach, he answered, “Do you think I could have done anything to stop them? I think stubbornness is a Holt family trait.”

Pidge silently agreed, eyes following her family.

Five minutes later, after Shiro had carefully helped her into a chair at the table, she glared at the men on either side of her in turn. Her father was on her left and her brother on her right, and with a tone that was probably sharper than necessary, she asked, “So...what is this I hear about you refusing to go into the healing pods while I was away?”

Her father grinned sheepishly at her, but Matt just whistled and averted his gaze for a few moments.

“I’m not getting in some super healing machine when I don’t know where my little sister is,” Matt finally groused, defensively. “If you were in our position, you wouldn’t have gone in yet, either, and you know it.”

“I’ve been in a similar position for nearly five years, and I’ve still gone in the healing pods when needed,” she deadpanned, and a slight hush fell around the table, the only sounds coming from Hunk and Coran in the kitchen. And then she smiled at her brother, softer, and added, “I had time enough, before coming out here, before becoming a paladin. But for you, it was fresh again, wasn’t it?”

Matt looked at her for a minute, and then nudged her and said, “Oh, hush. My baby sister isn’t supposed to talk like that. She’s supposed to tell me all the pretty places she’s seen, the technology she’s dissected and reassembled with _ease_ , how many planets she’s saved and any new things she’s build. And, of course, about any men in her life,” he waggled his eyebrows at her and his eyes slid, almost meaningfully, to a spot at the end of the table and she felt her face explode with heat, “mostly so I can give him a warning about what happens if he messes with my kid sister, though.”

“ _Matt_ ,” she groaned, nudging him as her father started laughing on her other side, his warm arm dropping around her shoulders.

“Let’s not tease her so much just yet,” he reprimanded gently. “Besides, I believe it’s _my_ right to give that warning, son.”

“ _Dad_!” that was a little more mortifying, and her voice pitched upwards. Her eyes, almost without her notice, flicked towards the man at the end of the table. Shiro was turned, engaged in conversation with Keith next to him, and she watched him cough into his hand, almost awkwardly, as he continued speaking. Keith’s eyes trailed to the Holts, and he cast what Pidge could only call a smirk at her, and she tore her eyes away, heart leaping.

 _How did everyone suddenly know about her feelings_?

Or, at least, that’s what it felt like. Her brother had given a glance towards Shiro, Keith had smirked at her, next thing would be Lance singing _Pidge and Shiro, sitting in a tree_ and she would probably die from embarrassment. And if Hunk started rambling, she could just go let herself out through the airlock without her suit, please and thank you, because then anyone who _didn’t_ know would become more aware than they wanted to be.

“We’re just teasing, Katie,” her father’s warm voice assured her as his hand squeezed her shoulder. She wasn’t completely sold on that, but she didn’t say anything for the time being.

“But, if you _did_ happen to meet someone—”

“ _Shut up_!” Pidge dropped her head to the table, ignoring the slight pain in her torso from the way she suddenly crumpled in on herself. Matt laughed a little, rubbing her back lightly.

“Okay, okay, but sit up, baby sister. We don’t know how bad your ribs are and I don’t want you to make them worse,” he prodded, reasonably, as he placed a gentle palm on her shoulder and tried to push her into a sitting position. With an exaggerated groan, partially to annoy him and partially to mask any pained sounds, she did as he asked. “That’s better. Now...why don’t you tell us just a little about what happened while you were gone?”

That drew everyone’s attention, and she shifted under their gazes. Where was she even supposed to begin? Well...mentioning the new Galra tether was probably a good starting point, maybe talk about repairs and leave out the fact that she’d been unconscious for _hours_ after the initial crash. And...did she mention her message home?

Pidge glanced between her father and brother, and then across all the others briefly.

“I...well, to start with, at the wormhole, I was being pulled back by some sort of...tether,” she swallowed hard. “The Galra replaced the ion cannon on at least that ship with that tether. I think it works kind of like my bayard? I didn’t exactly have time to analyze when it was using my lion to pull itself through the wormhole, so I...I told Allura to close it because I knew we couldn’t afford to fight with all of the refugees on the ship.”

“Sorry if I’m being blunt, Pidgeroo,” Lance said, leaning across teh table, “but we knew most of that already. I mean, the tether-thingy.”

She scowled at him and Keith elbowed him, telling him to shut up.

“Whatever,” she stuck her tongue out at him, and then took a breath. “After the wormhole closed on me, I ended up in Alpha Centauri…”

Even Lance stopped at that, staring at her incredulously. There was a collective intake of breath, and Allura looked confused for a moment before she was able to remember the name that humans had given the system next to their own.

“You were...so close,” Allura murmured, softly. Lance was more subdued than he had been previously, and she wondered if he was thinking about his family now. “What did you…?”

There was a lump in her throat, and she took a few moments to compose herself as Hunk came in with the food. He read the mood and closed his already open mouth, looking curiously at her. He stepped forward to put the food on the table, pausing before heading back into the kitchen for the rest, and Pidge finally found her voice, looking down at the table in front of her.

“After I made my repairs, Greenie helped me figure out a way to...put a message through. So I connected to the phones and...let and extended message on the Holt family answering machine, so that...she’d know that it was r-really me and that we’re still alive,” tears were rolling down her cheeks, and she scrubbed them away and forged on, without looking at anyone, “I told her to tell Lance’s family, and Hunk’s family, and I told her...I told her that you guys h-had just rescued Dad and M-Matt.”

Arms encircled her from both sides, her father and brother having leaned over into her space. They were gentle because of her injuries, but she could hear the hitch in Matt’s voice and the shudder in her father’s breath.

“My strong, brave little girl,” Commander Holt’s chuckle was a little tremulous, and he pulled back to place yet another kiss against her hair. “Your mother was probably so proud of you, when she got your message.”

“Sis…” Matt started, and then he just shook his head, leaving it on her shoulder. It was damp, but she decided not to say anything.

And then Hunk started in, blubbering and crying and chewing on his handkerchief again—”can’t believe you thought of me and _thank her_ , Lance, her mother’s gonna get the message and talk to your _mom_ too—” and she couldn’t help but smile. Lance’s lip was trembling as he chattered a thank you, somehow still in the obnoxious way he always spoke, and Pidge felt warm.

Even if she had been so close to home, so close she could have just turned and visited...it was nice to be back here. Right here, with the other paladins in the Castle of Lions, was where she was needed. It was where she _belonged_.

One day, she knew Earth would feel like home again. She would make sure of that, someday when they had defeated Zarkon and the universe was safe again. But for now, her home was here, with these idiots and their giant magic robot lions. And, even if sometimes the thought made her feel a little guilty, she knew it would be alright.

“L-let’s eat, shall we?” Allura sniffled a little, trying to hide the fact that she had also become emotional by the displays around her, and Keith agreed, rubbing Lance’s back. Hunk blabbered some sort of agreement, slipping back to grab more food from the kitchen, and Matt sat up, lifting his head from his little sister’s shoulder and wiping at his eyes. Pidge cleared her throat a little and smiled at everyone, a teasing grin that made Lance quirk a curious eyebrow as he tried to compose himself.

“I’m _starving_. I never want to have to survive on packets of instant goo for that long _again_.”

* * *

 

When Pidge had eaten some, careful not to overdo it, the team was eager to get the Holts into healing pods. She understood the feeling—she wanted to see her father and brother get into the pods as much as they wanted to see _her_ in one. She could tell that malnutrition had been a problem, and that wasn’t something that part of a week of regular meals and proper care had been enough to take care of. It also wasn’t something the pods could completely remedy, but it would help.

On the way to the infirmary, Pidge was struck with mixed feelings.

On one hand, Matt had pulled her arm over his shoulder, as the person closest to her height, and was guiding her there. One the other, she really, _really_ missed the feeling of being cradled in Shiro’s arms. The thought made her flush and she tried to ignore it, shaking her head in an attempt to clear it.

She caught Matt looking at her, and when their eyes met, he glanced up to the man on her mind, walking in front of them, and back to her with a smirk. Pidge fought against the burning sensation, trying to tell herself not to blush, but her brother’s grin grew wider.

“I _knew_ it,” he hissed, so only Pidge could hear. Her ears burned.

“ _Shut up!_ ” it came out as more of a squeak, and Matt started laughing. She groaned as the others turned their attention towards them and forced out, “Don’t mind him, he’s just _crazy_!”

Her father chuckled, raising a hand, and she saw Shiro quirk an eyebrow, but none of them said anything. Hunk stared for a few minutes, both eyebrows raised, and then finished asking whatever question he’d been asking the oldest Holt. Lance snorted and made a quip about how Pidge was probably the crazy one, and she heard him yelp behind her. Keith had probably elbowed him.

“If his brain’s been addled, the healing pods can diagnose that, too!” Coran continued his explanation of the pods without a hitch, even though he’d probably already been questioned by the curious Holts several times. Pidge knew that she’d heard it enough, so she tuned him out for the rest of the walk.

Instead, as they entered the room, she drew Matt to an abrupt stop. They’d argue with her, but she’d made a decision.

“Okay. You guys go in first,” she demanded, removing her arm from her brother’s shoulder and crossing her own. “I want to see you guys go into the pods first, and I’ll go in right after.”

“What? But you’re hurt worse! _You_ should go in first!” Matt’s protest had been completely expected, and Pidge narrowed her eyes at him. He leaned back a little and muttered, “Geez, you glare just like Mom.”

“Your bodies have longstanding injuries and strains that will need more treatment,” she made sure that her tone was firm. “I will go in as soon as you’re settled. It’s a promise. Just let me see you safe inside and healing before I do, okay?”

Her tone was almost pleading, but she saw her father’s gaze soften.

“You heard her, son,” he said, stepping forward to give Pidge a hug. It took her by surprise and she scrambled to pull her arms up and hug him back. And yet again, that soft kiss to her hair. She thought he might be doing it as a reminder to himself that she was actually there, that he and Matt were in safe hands...or at least in hands that were far more friendly than any they would have found in that prison camp.

And then her brother was there, grudgingly murmuring in her ear, “You’d better keep that promise, Katie, or I will tell _everyone_ this dirty little secret you’ve got going on. I mean, I might do it anyway since you’re such a—”

“ _Don’t you dare_ ,” she stomped on his foot, which was both satisfying and made her hiss from temporarily holding her weight on her bad leg.

“ _Ouch_! Okay, okay, just make sure to get healed up, okay?” he stepped back, ruffling her hair again. She cursed at him and he gasped dramatically, the little shit. “Baby sister! _Language_! What’ll Mom say when she hears her little princess has become a sailor?!”

“I’m a _pilot_ , and I’ll say what I damn well please!” she shoved him a little on the shoulder, “Now go get in the pod. I’m waiting.”

He smiled at her, and she watched with a strange sort of detachment as her father and Matt conversed with Coran, standing in adjacent pods. Matt offered her a thumbs up as the glass slid over him, and her father offered a gentle smile and, voice muffled as the glass covered him, too, said, “We’ll see you soon, Katie.”

After a few moments of silence, Lance dropped a light arm around her shoulders.

“You’re next, Pidgerino,” he teased, and she shrugged his arm off with a groan.

“Won’t you ever quit with those nicknames? They’re _ridiculous_ ,” she groaned, taking a limping step forward, where Shiro was there to catch her arm with a gentle smile that sent her heart racing. Was his smile _always_ that tender, or was she just indulging in hopeful thinking now that she’d finally let herself _admit_ her feelings to herself?

“They’ll be out in...sixteen hours, it looks like!” Coran announced, at the console and scanning through vitals. “From the scope of your injuries, Pidge, you should be out in less than half that time, but we won’t know for sure until we know the extent. So...in you go! Pod five is ready for you, next to your brother.”

“Y-yeah,” she stumbled a step towards the pod in question, and Shiro stepped with her, hands helping to guide her.

As she stepped into the pod and turned around to face outwards, her fellow paladins and the two Alteans smiled at her.

“We’re glad to have you back, Pidge,” Allura said, reaching forward and lightly taking Pidge’s hand in her own. “Now all you have to do is relax and let the healing pod do its duty. You’ll be back with us in just a few ticks!”

Wordlessly, Pidge nodded. Words of encouragement sounded from the others, but she couldn’t focus because Shiro’s hand was on her shoulder and her gaze was drawn by his. His grey eyes were warm, comforting, and he squeezed gently.

“You did good, Pidge,” his voice was soft, and her heart swelled. Shiro was _proud_ of her, and it meant almost as much as hearing the same thing of her father. With one last squeeze, he released her shoulder and stepped back. That same soft smile that was doing strange things to her chest remained and he added, much as her father had, “See you soon.”

She couldnt do anything more than smile as the glass covered her. She closed her eyes and slowly drifted off to Lance and Hunk shouting about how she’d better get well soon, or she’d hear from them.

 _Yeah_ , she thought to herself, lips curling into a smile, _it’s good to be home_.


	13. Drifting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just walking with him had been making her a little warm in the face, and remembering how comfortable it was to be hugged by him didn’t help her resolution to keep her feelings a secret for at least a while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo.
> 
> This is sooooo late, but I had such writer's block on this chapter. I knew exactly what was GOING to happen, but not HOW. So...this is what happened. And I hope I managed to do it some justice. I might make some edits later, when it's not 1AM and I'm not tired, but for now...hope you like it!
> 
> Again, sorry for the wait.

 

The first thing she heard was a hissing sound, like air escaping. Her first thought was _oh no, the crash must have punctured something...what if all the oxygen is leaking out?_ and she gasped, eyes snapping open as she pitched forward. She was too sluggish to move her foot forward in time to catch herself, and she prepared to meet the floor as awareness rushed back to her and she recognized the aftereffects of the healing pod. Her eyes squeezed closed nearly as quickly as they had opened, and she waited for the impact.

Pidge toppled straight into something that _wasn’t_ the floor, though, and she groaned as feeling started returning to her limbs.

“Thanks,” she managed to mumble against a warm chest.

“How’re you feeling?” she felt as the voice rose through his chest, but she couldn’t mistake that warm tone anywhere. And for the second time in what couldn’t have been more than twelve hours, she knew she was being held against Shiro’s chest.

She fought against the urge to blush as she took a deep breath and tried to push herself upright.

“Fine,” she answered, rolling her shoulders a little. “A little slow, but that always happens in the healing pods. Nothing a few hours can’t fix.” Pidge avoided the temptation to look up at Shiro, instead turning to look at the pods next to hers, the relaxed faces of her family still resting inside. In order to keep herself occupied, she asked, “How much longer do they have?”

“They should have about thirteen more hours, according to Coran,” Shiro’s hand was warm on her shoulder, and she felt him trying to steer her elsewhere. “You got out in about three hours. And I know how the pods are, so you’d better come eat something.”

“But…” she fought against him, weakly, and he eased the guiding hand on her shoulder as she traced the contours of her brother’s features. Without the pressure of trying to reassure everyone that she would be fine, she was able to be more observant. She could see that his features were haggard and weary, but he was resilient. With time, she knew that Matt could recover from whatever horrors he might have faced, and the same went for her father.

As if sensing her reluctance, Shiro gave her shoulder a light squeeze yet again and told her, “You don’t have to be gone for long.”

 _I’ve already been away from them for too long_ , she wanted to say, but when her stomach gurgled in protest, she knew that she’d have to acquiesce despite her desire to stay right where she was.

“Promise?” her voice was a lot weaker than she had intended, and, with a furious blush, she amended, “That I can come back right after I eat something, I mean.”

She found herself looking imploringly up at him and her cheeks warmed even more. His eyes were soft and concerned, but there was a gentle smile there. And, his tone as gentle as his touch, Shiro assured her, “Of course. It won’t be long, and we can come back.”

 _We can come back_.

Not just _you_ , but _we_. Did that mean that Shiro had stayed in the room the entire time she’d been in the pod, or at least for a major part of it? Was he intending to stay until all the Holts were out of the pods? Wasn’t he going to rest at some point?

At the thought, she peered up at him again. From this angle, in the bright lights of the infirmary, Pidge noticed just how _tired_ he looked, and she found herself feeling a swell of anxiety. Shiro looked absolutely _exhausted_. What did he think he was doing, acting like a mother hen when he should be climbing into his bed and sleeping for the next several _days_?

Instead of calling him out, she acquiesced and let him lead her off to the dining room.

While they walked, Pidge tried not to think about the warmth of his hand on her back. Matt was already giving her enough shit about liking him—what would he say if he found out that just this slight physical contact was enough to make her skin tingle pleasantly wherever he touched? The thought made her start to flush.

She never used to be the blushing type, and she wondered when that had changed. In the past, Pidge had flushed for praise from her family or other people she respected, and sometimes for an exceptional example of modern robotics. Now, though, even more than before the wormhole had separated her from the rest, she was prone to turning red because of Shiro. His tone of voice, his words, a gentle touch, and even the mere _thought_ of him could set her face aflame.

 _We’re almost to the dining room_ , she told herself, trying to soothe the heat in her cheeks, at least a little. _You don’t want anyone inside to know if they don’t already, so calm down. It’s just a hand he’s using to guide you. It doesn’t mean anything_.

Upon their arrival, she was surprised to see that the room was bustling.

Aliens were scattered around, an extra table she hadn’t noticed earlier had been pulled out, extra chairs were crammed around the main table, and all faces turned as the door slid open for the two paladins. She managed to spot the rest of the team among unfamiliar and familiar alien faces alike, all from the rescue, and she blinked in surprise. Pidge stood where she was, a little uncertainly, and then there was a cheer. She stumbled back a little, involuntarily, only to bump into Shiro. A low rumble sounded from him, a light chuckle that made her heart leap.

“Whoa! That was fast, my dear Pidgeot,” Lance scrambled up, beaming in his usual manner, but Hunk was faster, lunging forward and lifting her bodily from the ground. She made a strangled sound as her big friend started spinning her in a circle, and Pidge _swore_ he was trying to crush her bones.

“Pidge!” Hunk’s voice was a little choked, as if he was fighting back tears. “I missed you! I was afraid that you were hurt or that the Galra had got you or that we might not find you for _weeks_ or _months_ and when we couldn’t pick up Greenie’s exact location I was so scared! And then Allura found a faint signal and I almost cried—I probably cried, I don’t remember, it’s not important—and I just missed you so much, buddy!”

“I...missed you...too,” Pidge forced out, trying to push away. “Hunk...can’t breathe!”

“OH! Right, sorry!” he let her back down, abruptly, and continued to fuss over her. “You’re healed, so you must be hungry again. I didn’t think you’d be out _quite_ so fast, so I don’t have your favorites prepared, is there anything you want that I can get you really quick? I—”

“Anything’s fine,” she managed when she could breathe regularly again. “Just...not instant goo.”

Hunk winced sympathetically and gave her another squeeze, much gentler this time, and nodded. “Of course. Chef Hunk is on it! I’ve got some stuff almost ready to come out—” a loud beeping sounded from the kitchen, and Hunk amended, “—coming out now, I mean, because that’s the ticker, so just take a seat and it’ll be done in no time!”

Pidge nodded mutely, even though he couldn’t see it as he gave her one final squeeze around the shoulders and then disappeared back into the kitchen. Lance was there next, Keith at his shoulder, and the lanky dork also swept her into a tight hug. He didn’t pick her up and spin her around like Hunk, but he did pull back to look her over at arm’s length. He clicked his tongue after a moment and shook his head with a dramatic sigh.

“As I feared,” he announced at large, releasing one shoulder to pinch at her stomach. Pidge yelped and swatted his hand away, indignantly, before Lance proclaimed, “you’re much too thin! Good thing we have Hunk to fatten you up, _mi amiga_ , because you need it.”

To add insult to injury, she was sure, Lance completed the gesture by ruffling her hair with his trademark grin before sprawling back into the seat he’d previously occupied before she could fight back.

And then a hand entered her line of sight, and she glanced up at Keith, who grinned at her. She accepted his handshake without a thought, but then felt herself tugged forward so he could wrap his other arm around her. She floundered for a moment—who taught him how to _bro hug_?—before wrapping her free arm around his back to return the brief hug.

“Glad you’re back,” he said simply, then released her almost as abruptly as he’d hugged her in the first place.

That was absolutely as close to a sentimental reunion as she could possibly expect from _Keith_ , of all people, so she nodded and, after a moment, with their hands still clasped she responded with a grin of her own, “It’s good to be back.”

She couldn’t say that enough times.

Pidge turned to the table then, and found Shiro already gesturing to a few empty seats, so she took his unspoken advice and slipped into one of the open chairs. Shiro slid in at her left elbow as if it was second nature, and she found herself feeling a little...comforted? Just the fact that he was by her side made her relax, even though she was away from her father and brother. She still wondered when he was going to get some rest, though. He looked like he needed it, even though he hid it with his relieved smiles and warm eyes.

There was a shuffling to her right, and Pidge noticed a slender hand on the chair next to her.

“This one requests permission to sit next to the paladin of the green lion,” a familiar voice trilled, and Pidge looked up with a lurch in her stomach to find Ullax next to her, and the young alien’s father nearby.

“You don’t have to ask!” Pidge found her voice, smiling warmly. “Please, sit!”

With a slow, graceful incline of her head, Ullax sat herself down and turned to Pidge with what the paladin could only describe as a tender, relieved sort of expression.

“This one is very happy to see the small paladin has returned,” Ullax’s father spoke before she could, inclining his head from behind her chair. He stepped forward and placed his own slender fingers on Pidge’s shoulders, slowly and tentatively, as if afraid that he may break the smaller creature. “Welcome back, brave paladin of Voltron.”

At a loss for words, Pidge could only nod and say, “Thank you.”

“Ullax, too, is glad that you have returned,” she leaned nearer from her spot next to Pidge. “When this one learned that the green hero was lost, this one was greatly saddened.”

_Green hero?_

“I’m back,” she chose to ignore the fact that she’d been called a hero. “I’m back and I’m in one piece, so no harm done!”

“No harm done?” a voice cried, incredulously. Pidge and Ullax both turned to Hunk as he bustled in with a few different plates of food, depositing them in front of Pidge. “ _No harm done_?” he nearly squeaked. “Ohohoho, no. Nope. You don’t get to say that, not after how much worrying I did! You could have _died_. You could have been _captured_. You could have been tortured or brainwashed or turned into some sort of Druid science experiment before I could say _Fraunhofer_ , and then where would Team Voltron be?! You’re like, the genius of the team. What would I do about getting my super-mega-awesome upgrades if you weren’t here for even _longer_ than a week? Nuh-un, Pidge, you don’t get to say _no harm done_. What about my _sanity_?”

“Okay, bad word choice,” she amended, giving him an apologetic grin. “I’m sorry, Hunk.”

She found a ladle in her face and Hunk huffed, “I’ll accept your apology for now, number five, but know that I will not tolerate such blasphemy again. Now you pick up your spoon and stuff your face and then go take a shower. Your hair needs a good wash, and I’m sure you haven’t been taking good care of your skin. Don’t make me get Allura in on that—”

“You don’t _need_ to get Allura!” Lance interjected, leaning across the table. “Let me tell you what, I am the only skincare professional you need to get in on this, because my skin is as smooth as a baby’s bottom. Trust me—I have enough siblings and nieces and nephews to know! And I can tell you that the start to a good skincare routine is mmmph?!”

“Just eat,” Keith spoke over the muffled sounds Lance was making, his hand clamped over the other man’s mouth. “Ignore this idiot for now.”

Some sort of muffled, indignant sound rose from Lance’s chest, but it didn’t get through Keith’s fingers. Pidge snorted, but she found herself reaching up to touch the ends of her hair, running her fingers through self-consciously. Sure, before the pod, she’d been concerned about Shiro carrying her because of the lack of hygiene for the last several days, but now that it was being pointed out…

 _What am I thinking?_ She asked herself suddenly, dropping her hand. _I don’t care about silly things like my hair._

But...but she did. When she thought about Shiro’s proximity, and how gross she must be, Pidge felt positively _mortified_. How had Shiro been able to carry her? Or be near her? She must smell something awful, and the brief touch of her hair left her fingertips feeling greasy. There was only so much that the ancient Altean equivalent of dry shampoo, which was stored in her lion, could do to mask the lack of proper hygiene.

“Got it,” she managed to answer, though she wasn’t sure whether she was speaking to Hunk or to Keith or to both of them, while she reached for her spoon.

While she ate, she talked a little with Ullax and her father, but she never quite forgot the silent presence at her other elbow. She found herself glancing over at him as he picked at his own food, but at any signs that he might start to turn her way, she averted her attention. Hunk, who had plopped down directly across from her, raised a bushy brow when she accidentally met his eyes on one such occasion, and her eyes widened in surprise.

Of _course_ Hunk would realize it. He _was_ probably the most observant, even if he didn’t always show it. And he had always been especially in tune to emotional things, like when he’d suspected something between Keith and Lance before Pidge herself had started to wonder.

She gave him a long look that she hoped said _back off_ , but he just grinned.

Pidge decided to ignore him, finish her food and her conversation, and take a quick shower. The shower had nothing to do Hunk’s suggestion _or_ with how self-conscious she was about the fact that Shiro was practically shadowing her. At least, that’s what she swore to herself when she announced that she was going to follow Hunk’s advice.

 _I need to be clean_ , she reasoned. _Allura would kill me if I didn’t at least shower, and it’s just gross to wait any longer. Dad and Matt will be fine in the pods without me there for just another twenty minutes, maybe thirty._

She didn’t meet Shiro’s gaze as he walked her to her room so she could use her personal bathroom. In fact, she tried not to look at him _at all_. Just walking with him had been making her a little warm in the face, and remembering how comfortable it was to be hugged by him didn’t help her resolution to keep her feelings a secret for at least a while longer.

“I’ll see you back at the infirmary in a while, then,” his gentle voice pulled her out of her thoughts, and with one last, lingering touch of his hand on her shoulder, he smiled.

“Y-yeah, see you,” she managed, and the smile she offered wasn’t forced.

When her automatic door slid closed behind her, she typed in a code on her keypad to lock it before leaning heavily against it with a tired sigh. Pidge could feel the flush rising up no matter how she fought against it, and she dragged a hand down her face in exasperation.

It was in those few moments that she started to realize it. Prior to the rescue on planet Millerna, she had been more than willing to push her feelings aside for the success of their current mission. She had always denied anything remotely close to romantic attachment, pushing it off as tiredness or just a really close familial bond, but in her solitude she had let herself accept things she’d always rejected. And with acceptance came the fear that she had suddenly become transparent.

How long had the others known, or suspected? Had it been even since before the rescue?

Shaking her head, Pidge pushed herself off of the door and made her way towards the bathroom, pausing for clothes along the way. It wouldn’t do her any good to dwell on it now. What’s done is done, and she knew that probably as well as anyone. At this point, she could only let the cards fall where they may.

Pidge was about carefully planning and laying out the pros and cons of a situation, but she was starting to understand that logic wasn’t going to help here.

* * *

 

When she made it back to the infirmary thirty minutes later, it was to find that Shiro had already returned. He jerked a little at her footsteps, turning to watch as she slipped up beside him. He was standing in front of her father, arms crossed, but he reached out to touch her shoulder when she stepped up next to him. He did it almost as if it was second nature to reach out to her, to touch her, and she let it happen.

“The healing process is going exactly how Coran expected it to,” Shiro informed her. “He just left a few minutes ago and said that everything is coming up normal, and there are about eleven hours left.”

“Mmm,” she hummed to show she’d heard, gazing at her brother’s face through blue-tinted glass. She glanced over at Shiro again, and with a start, she realized that he had at least changed clothes, if not showered himself. For a moment, horror gripped her—had it been because she was _gross_ and he’d been touching her and carrying her and just in her general vicinity?—but she shook her head and looked back towards her family. It wasn’t the time for those silly insecurities. “I think there’s a little more color in Dad’s cheeks,” she observed.

“Yeah,” Shiro’s tone was soft, but he drew her eyes, and when she turned she found him smiling gently back. “They’re going to be fine.”

She’d heard it several times, it felt like, but every single time she heard it from him, it sounded like a promise. Her lips quirked up in response and she pulled her eyes away, looking back up at the pods before her. And then she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper, “I know.”

Shiro’s fingers squeezed her shoulder lightly and then released as he slowly crossed them back over his chest. Silence fell between them, but it was...nice. It was a comfort, just having Shiro by her side while she watched over her father and brother. And while she knew that no harm would come to them here, it was still impossible for her to turn away.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but she found herself moving a little. Pidge sat on the steps for a while, walked a few circuits around the room, sat down again, and eventually found herself leaning against Matt’s pod carefully, looking up at their father. She read through some information on her handheld, making a remote connection to the system she had down in her workshop.

Her family’s genius never ceased to amaze her. In just a few days, they’d already managed to develop a few different schematics, saved on her systems, and she perused a few of their unfinished machine blueprints, making notes for later. They weren’t quite sure about the function of Altean power sources yet, but she was more than ready to help them learn. There was a lot she could help them with, and show them, and the thought of all they could do together sent excitement coursing through her veins. It had been a long time since the three of them had created together, and she missed it.

Shiro was a constant presence, less restless than Pidge but always there in the room, calming her.

Pidge settled even more against Matt’s pod, rubbing her eyes in a vain attempt to chase her fatigue away as she flipped through some information in her handheld. The room started to seem almost eerily quiet, and her eyes lifted to find Shiro standing in front of Matt. As if he sensed her gaze, he glanced down at her. His brow furrowed a little, and she recognized the hints of concern that he often wore when he was worried about one of the younger paladins.

And then he confirmed her suspicions when he suggested, “Why don’t you go get some rest, Pidge?”

She shook her head defiantly.

“They waited for me. I’ve already eaten and showered. Everything else I can do or should do can wait on them.”

Pidge heard him sigh, but Shiro didn’t make any move to dissuade her. His footsteps sounded and he wandered around the room again. He didn’t stop this time, though, and he became the restless one. His footsteps, like his silence, were equally comforting.

They were evenly-paced steps. Almost rhythmic, in fact. She closed her eyes for just a moment, letting the sound keep her grounded.

 _Shiro moves so quietly,_ she mused, _I never noticed that before._

* * *

 

A metallic _clang_ distracted Shiro from his thoughts, and he tensed immediately. He turned toward the sound and stopped in his tracks.

Pidge’s handheld had slipped from her lap, causing the sound that had startled him. And the young woman herself? In the time since their last interaction, what had to have been twenty minutes before when she had refused to leave, Pidge had drifted off. Her head was nodding, her hands relaxed as her chest gently rose and fell, and he thought it was the most vulnerable he’d seen her since her return.

She hadn’t been closed off, exactly, but she hadn’t been completely open, either. Especially with him. It seemed like she was avoiding his eyes more than usual, which made it hard to stick to his resolve to talk to her soon. About _everything_. But he knew he couldn’t hide it forever, after all, and he felt like he was already being obvious.

Now, however, she was relaxed for the first time in hours. And fully relaxed, not pulled into a forced sleep by the Altean healing technology. It softened her features, just a little, and with a _thump_ , his heart reminded him why he was having trouble trying to ignore his feelings. When she wasn’t being snarky or sarcastic, she had a gentle femininity. She hid it with her attitude, and she had done it for years, but he’d started to see it, and he couldn’t go back. And when she was like this, he couldn’t help but stare.

When he forced himself to turn away, he found his eyes lighting on Matt’s face. He remembered the smirk that had pulled at his face when he had joined Hunk in heckling him, though it seemed like weeks ago. _That_ was the way his best friend was supposed to look. Relieved, too, at the sight of his sister alive and well. But not unconscious, behind the glass of one of these pods. It was the same thought Shiro had whenever anyone else was in stasis to be healed, but it was one he’d never get over.

 _I didn’t do enough to protect him_ , he caught himself thinking. And then he groaned, running his hand down his face. The action drew his attention back to Pidge, who had slumped even lower against Matt’s pod in her slumber.

Well, he could at _least_ make sure she rested properly.

As quietly as he could, he knelt next to her. He reached for her handheld, clipping it to his belt, before trying to plan his next action. He needed to pick her up, preferably without waking her up, and get her to her bed. If she woke, she’d refuse, probably nearly hurt herself in her protests, and he’d be back to square one. She’d make sure she stayed awake all through her family’s time in the infirmary, and Matt would give him a look when he came out of the pod and saw her looking like hell.

Stifling a chuckle, he shook his head.

 _Focus_.

His arms slid underneath Pidge’s slender form and she made a little sound in her sleep, shifting. He stilled and waited for her to ease back into her peaceful sleep, and then he braced himself to start lifting her. She made another disgruntled noise, but Shiro already had her in his arms. Her weight was familiar, and her head rolled, her face pressing lightly against his shoulder as he set off towards her room.

Shiro was always amazed at how light she was. She was lithe and muscular, but even with all of the training and working out she did, Pidge felt like she barely weighed anything. But her weight in his arms was a comfortable one, even more so when he could feel her breath through the material of his shirt, shallow and even.

He _wanted_ this. He wanted to be near her, to hold her and support her when she needed it.

_Hunk was right. Matt was right. Everyone was right, and I’m an idiot._

If he wasn’t afraid of waking her, he probably would have laughed at himself. As it was, he had reached the hallway with all their bedrooms. He’d put her to bed and then he’d reevaluate his actions. He needed to find the time and the place to talk to her, to address the subject, and so far he couldn’t figure out when that was.

Her door slid open with a soft puff of air and Pidge didn’t even stir. Shiro slipped inside, careful not to snag her feet on the doorframe, and quickly whispered, “Dim,” to verbally control the light settings before they could wax bright and wake her.

Shiro tread carefully, lightly letting her lower half rest on the edge of the mattress while he pulled her blankets down. Once that was done, he gently shifted her fully onto her bed while reaching to remove her shoes. She grunted a little in her sleep, her head tossing, but she settled quickly. Shiro hadn’t realized he was holding his breath until he managed to slip that first shoe off of her foot, and then he inhaled shakily. He would have laughed at himself, if he wasn’t so afraid of waking her with every breath he took.

Shaking his head, he moved to her other foot and tugged that shoe off, too. Once that was done, Shiro tugged the blankets up over her, perching on the edge of the bed.

Pidge looked so peaceful in her sleep, so serene. It was a pleasant change from the way she used to look so haggard all the time, working herself to exhaustion and pretending that everything was okay. If he had only seen her like this more often, he might have believed that she was fine. Perhaps it was seeing all the little sides she tried to hide from the others that had drawn him in. The bags under her eyes from when she stayed up too late had only been signs of her genius to the others, but he’d known there was more. They were signs he had recognized in himself.

 _Nightmares_.

Maybe it was when he started to recognize that she was having nightmares. It was a bond they shared, and that was when he started seek her out when he couldn’t sleep because of his own terrors in the night. And that’s when they had drawn closer, shared more with each other than he’d thought possible. He’d fallen, slowly, over the rough nights they spent just...talking. Or walking, occasionally, until Pidge’s eyes had started to droop and he had prodded her through her door with a promise that she at least try to sleep.

Whatever it was that had started it, Shiro didn’t have the power to stop it. And he didn’t want to be able to stop it.

Whatever it was, it drove him to lean forward and press his lips gently against her forehead after brushing her hair aside.

“Goodnight, Katie,” he murmured softly against her skin, pulling away slowly.

He made to stand up, but something caught at the sleeve of his hoodie. When he looked, slender fingers were tugging, and he heard, “...’t go. Don’...eave me ‘lone…”

And just like that, Shiro sat back down, hands reaching for hers. He cradled it between both of his and murmured, “Alright, I won’t go. I’m right here,” and waited for her breathing to even out again. He waited for that fearful crease between her brows to smooth out, helping the process along with the pad of his thumb, waiting for her to be calm again.

He didn’t have the energy to move or protest when she curled up against his side, his back resting against her headboard as her fingers slipped in between his. Some mumbled, incoherent phrase slipped from her mouth, but he didn’t pay it any heed, instead assuring her in a breath that he was still there.

She was tiny and warm, tucked up against his side, and he found himself drifting.


	14. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was something so much more comfortable than usual as Pidge came to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST OF ALL I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS IS LIKE, 2K SHORTER THAN USUAL AND THAT IT'S AT LEAST 2 WEEKS LATER THAN INTENDED.
> 
> I had a hard time starting it off, even though I knew what I wanted to happen. And then, when I got to this point, I was just really conflicted because my soundboard (heyo Priya, shoutout!) insisted that I post it as-is but it's only 2.6K and most of my chapters are 4K at the bare minimum and I was SO CONFLICTED GUYS.
> 
> But, long story short, after like an hour of fighting it, I decided to break my personal 4K rule and post this chapter as it is because reasons.
> 
> I hope you guys like it, and I'll see you for the last chapter next time!

 

There was something so much more comfortable than usual as Pidge came to.

Maybe it was her time away from her bed, which she’d spent curled awkwardly in the pilot’s chair of the green lion, but she’d never been this cozy. There was a certain warmth that she hardly found out here in the depths of space, and her first instinct was to snuggle a little closer. As she followed that inclination, she realized that there was an unfamiliar lump there. It was harder than a pillow, yet softer than metal, and she found herself waking.

Her eyes opened, slowly, to black. It wasn’t the darkness of her room, because there was the ever-present glow of the castle’s energy currents all around. She blinked and pushed herself up, gently, until the black gave way to smooth, lightly tanned skin, and as her eyes trailed up, she traced a well-defined jaw and spied a scar across the bridge of his nose.

In slumber, Shiro looked far more relaxed than she had seen him in a long time, and her heart swelled.

She didn’t know what he was doing here, but she had the fuzzy memory of begging someone to stay with her. Pidge had been prepared to dismiss the memory as a dream, but as she watched—and _felt_ —his chest rise beneath her fingertips, she wasn’t as convinced. She wasn’t positive it was real, either, but as her eyes flitted to the time and her brain did foggy calculations— _8 more hours until they come out of the pods_ —she gave in.

Sitting up, she noted that he was on top of the covers. Shiro had probably intended to leave again once she was asleep, after all. He’d even left his shoes on.

That was the first thing she approached, cautiously, her fear of waking him and her knowledge of how lightly he slept fueling her snail’s pace. And in a few moments, she’d managed to wrest first one boot from his foot, then the other. It was probably a miracle that she didn’t wake him as she tugged the blankets from beneath him, and then, as her final act, she threw them over the both of them, settling back in next to him.

Maybe when she woke up next, she’d regret this, but for now, she allowed herself to curl against Shiro’s side. And, before she could talk herself out of the action, her fingers sought the cool metal of his prosthetic. When she found it, she lightly grasped his hand, linking her digits between his own.

 _This’ll be fine_ , she told herself, even as his body heat started to lull her back to sleep. _He won’t mind just this much, I’m sure, even if he doesn’t feel the same._

* * *

There was a gentle, repetitive motion on her shoulder blade, and she shifted a little as she tried to figure out what it was. In the meantime, she snuggled closer to the warmth at her side, a memory wriggling at the back of her mind. As she breathed out, a slow and relaxed sigh, she recognized that it was a hand on her back. It slowed as she came to, but tentatively continued its tender ministrations after a few moments.

It was in those few moments that her groggy recollections of last night resurfaced, and she recognized the feel of metal between the lax fingers of her left hand.

 _Shiro_.

The thought spread warmth throughout her body, and she wanted to stay like this. But Pidge was nothing if not rational, and she knew that she needed to get up, to address whatever this was, and figure out where to go from there. Maybe it would mean telling him about the feelings she’d been hiding, the ones she’d refused to accept for the longest time. Or maybe it would mean burying them deeper, and pretending that it didn’t hurt if he had simply done everything out of the goodness of his heart.

Pidge pushed the thought from her mind and enjoyed the feeling of being next to him for a few more moments, trying to memorize the feel of his fingers tracing light, comforting circles on her back and the way she could feel the rise and fall of his chest beneath her cheek.

And then she slowly pushed herself up.

After yawning, she blinked a few times until her vision was no longer blurry around the edges, and then she focused on the form before her. Her eyes lit upon black material first—her cheek had been pressed against his chest in her slumber, and she made a note to commit the feeling to her memory. And then she lifted her gaze to his face, where his eyes met hers. His expression was warm, his hand still on her shoulder and the fingers of his metal hand still entwined with hers.

“Morning,” she found her voice. She couldn’t even find it in herself to feel embarrassed, though she knew she probably should.

“Did you sleep well?” Shiro asked, his tone soft and concerned.

“Mhm,” she sat all the way up, and lamented when his hand fell from her shoulders. He followed her lead, sitting up and slipping his legs to hang from the side of her bed. His hand slipped away from her own, and she already missed the feel of his fingers—prosthetic or no—in her own. “You?”

“I did,” his words were simple, and Pidge felt a lurch of something in her stomach. Trepidation, maybe? She wasn’t sure, but she was struck by how truly awkward the situation at hand was.

She knew she cared for him, had finally admitted to herself that she loved Shiro, but she didn’t know how he felt. For the first time, she realized that her groggy decision in the night could have been a mistake. What if he would have preferred waking up and returning to his own room, instead of staying in her room and in her bed? Was there anything she could say or do to make it less awkward for him?

 _Shiro, I’m sorry_.

It didn’t feel like enough. He’d probably smile in that kind way he had and ask what she was even sorry for. It would lead to a clunky explanation, but it would be a start and it would get a part of her feelings off her chest.

 _Shiro, I love you_.

She imagined him saying he loved her back, telling her that she was a good friend and he didn’t know what he’d do without her. It was a very Shiro thing to say, after all. He cared for everyone in the Castle of Lions as though they were family—and, after all the years they had spent together, how could they be anything but?

 _Shiro, I’m in love with you_.

Pidge felt the embarrassment welling up inside at the mere thought of actually phrasing it that way. If she did it, there would be no misunderstanding her intentions as something purely platonic. It was as tempting as it was nerve-wracking.

But despite all of her struggle to find the right words, it seemed that she didn’t have to say anything.

Arms wrapped gently around her, and Shiro pulled her against his chest, sighing into her hair. Pidge stiffened for a moment, but after a few seconds, she wrapped her arms around him in return. How could she not, when he had made the first move, and when it was a touch she had craved more than any other for longer than she could recall?

“I’m so glad you’re back,” he breathed, tone tremulous. It was the first sign of weakness in him that she had seen since she’d returned, since her first few moments in the hangar, and she wasn’t sure how to take it. Shiro was her captain and a strong leader. He wasn’t prone to signs of weakness, at least not in front of the others.

“I’m...glad to be back,” Pidge responded, albeit tentatively.

Shiro drew in a slow, ragged breath, and pulled back to look her in the eyes carefully. And then he sighed again and leaned forward to press his forehead to hers, closing his eyes in the process. At his proximity, her heart rate increased monumentally and she struggled to fight the rising flush that finally tried to reach her cheeks.

“I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

Those are words she’d imagined him saying as a purely platonic response to her confession...but not words she’d expected him to say of his own volition, with no prompting from her. And she wanted to console him, to tell him that everything would have been alright, but she couldn’t help feeling that the words would be flat.

She had no words to say, then. None that wouldn’t cheapen whatever he was feeling, however he had felt while she was gone, and that was something she wanted to avoid. She couldn’t pretend to know how he’d felt, even if she knew what it was like to lose family.

So instead of speaking, Pidge took a shaky breath of her own and closed her eyes to revel, however briefly, in his closeness. In the silence that fell between them, the only sounds that could be heard were the soft, nearly imperceptible humming of the Castle of Lions around them, Pidge’s clock ticking with each passing second, and the soft rush of the breaths they took lingering in the air between them.

“ _I missed you_.”

The words were soft, not much more than a whisper, and it wasn’t until she heard the hitch in Shiro’s breath that she realized they were hers.

A hundred things ran through her head then—excuses. _I missed all of you. I’m so glad to be back! I mean, it was so lonely out there that I almost missed Lance’s idiocy and Hunk’s babbling and even Coran’s cooking_ —but she let the thoughts die before she could say them aloud. Her heart was racing, but if she kept waiting for the right moment to speak with him, she’d keep pushing it off until it was too late.

“I…” she started, but then she felt his fingers brush lightly against her cheek, pushing her hair back from her face.

“ _Katie_ ,” Shiro murmured, and then she felt him pull his forehead away from hers. Her eyes snapped open, following his retreat, and she met his gaze again. He moved his thumb across her cheek, a small smile playing at his lips. Her words, whatever they would have been, lodged in her throat. Trying to put all of her feelings into words, or trying to convince herself to deny them, had never been harder.

 _I love him_.

Her traitorous mind reminded her of the fact, and she opened her mouth to try again. No sound came out, and Pidge felt ashamed of herself. She wanted to tell him, with her own voice, just what he meant to her, but it was the hardest thing she’d ever tried to do.

And then Shiro leaned forward, pressing a gentle, lingering kiss to the center of her forehead and catching her completely unawares.

“Sh-Shiro?”

He rested his cheek against her hair, and Pidge could scarcely bring herself to breathe. And then he spoke and she thought she was dreaming.

“ _I love you_.”

There was no mistaking the words. But her mind was as active as ever, struggling to see just how many different ways she could interpret that confession.

It could be familial. It was common knowledge that everyone in the team was like family to everyone else. For years, they were all they had, and soon the team became all any of them really needed. It didn’t matter that she always seemed to be the one who shared more of his time, especially late at night. Surely the others had seen that side of Shiro at some point or another, so it wasn’t something special that only she got to see.

He could have just meant it in the purely platonic, _we’ll always be friends_ way. Like she’d already covered, Pidge did share in a lot of his struggles, particularly the ones that included wandering the castle-ship in the middle of the night, unable to sleep due to nightmares. He could just be expression appreciation for that, and how happy he was that his partner in suffering was back.

Or...or he could mean it in the same way she would, if she ever worked up the courage to say it out loud. And a large part of her desperately hoped that his feelings ran even half as deep as hers, because it would make everything so much easier.

But, no matter how much she wished for it, she couldn’t bring herself to accept it right away.

“I know,” were the words that came out of her mouth, instead of asking _in what way_? like she truly wanted to. And, more quietly, she added, “I love you, too.”

 _You’re like a brother to me_ fell flat on the tip of her tongue. She couldn’t add something so false, not now.

“I mean it, Pidge,” he pulled away from her, seeking her eyes with his own. She didn’t know how to describe that expression— _imploring_ , almost? As if he was imploring her to believe in the words he was saying. And so she listened when he continued, “Pidge Gunderson, Katie Holt. Paladin of the Green Lion and left arm of Voltron. Everything that you are is something that I love about you.”

His fingers lightly brushed her bangs away, and she felt herself falling even deeper.

Without a word, she leaned forward and rested her forehead against his chest, wrapping her arms around him. Pidge didn’t trust herself to speak, so she tried to convey her feelings through her actions.

 _I love you, Shiro. I’m in love with you,_ she thought—she _felt_ —and then a strange feeling of _completeness_ settled over her.

It took her a few moments to recognize it as the work of the paladin bond, baring her strongest emotions for Shiro to experience and vice-versa. Her true feelings were out there, and she hadn’t even been able to say the words she wanted him to hear...but now she knew that his words had meant exactly what she had been hoping for. And as the sensation of the paladin bond’s interference ebbed, she felt Shiro’s arms slide around her and pull her closer against his chest. Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Pidge squeezed back as tightly as she could.

She wanted to tell him, but for now, it didn’t seem like words were necessary. Not for that topic, at the very least.

Shiro, however, felt the need to mumble, “Matt is going to be unbearable about this.”

“Dad’s going to give you the ‘ _if you hurt her’_ speech,” she added, cheek resting against his chest. And then, as an afterthought, she added, “And you’ll probably hear it from Matt, too.”

“I’ve already heard it from Matt.”

She snorted at the serious tone, and didn’t for a moment doubt that her brother had done exactly that. He was pretty perceptive so she wasn’t at all surprised that he’d not only confronted Shiro about it—probably during her absence—but had also found a few moments to tease her before they had entered the healing pods.

“I’m sorry for that,” she finally managed, and Shiro chuckled softly.

“Don’t be,” he responded, gently pulling back to look her over. And then, with a glance over at the time, he suggested, “Why don’t we go grab something to eat? And then we can go to the infirmary to wait on them.”

She nodded and allowed him to pull her to her feet.

 


	15. Affection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everyone fell in love while fighting an intergalactic space battle that would determine the fate of the universe, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and welcome to the final chapter of Lost and Found!
> 
> I'll save my babbly author's note stuff for the end this time in favor of letting you get straight to the last chapter!

 

“No.”

The way Sam and Matt Holt said the word, without even a moment’s pause and in perfect unison, threw Pidge off a little. She’d kind of been expecting that answer, all things considered, but she thought that her father would at least pause to weigh the pros and cons. Her brother was overprotective and would probably refuse no matter what her father had decided, anyway.

But it was a precious opportunity. Allura had graciously presented Sam and Matt Holt with the option to go back home, to Earth, and they had instantly _refused_.

Pidge couldn’t leave that alone, even if she’d expected that response.

“What?!” she demanded, frowning. “You guys barely even considered it. Dad, you haven’t been home for over five years. _Neither_ of you have been home for over five years! You’ve been stuck out here with only the Galra for company, and you’re saying you don’t want to go home? What about Mom?”

It wasn’t that she didn’t like their company. In fact, it was the opposite—she loved having them around again, after so many years of not knowing where they were or if they were even still alive. Pidge just didn’t want them to ever fall back in the path of the Galra. If they got captured again, or _worse_ , she’d never forgive herself. The quickest way to ensure their safety was to get them to go back to Earth, where they would be a little further removed from the conflict.

It wasn’t a foolproof plan, but she at least wished they’d consider it.

“You left her a message, Katie,” her father was using his best Dad Voice to calm her down, and she instantly shrank back a little. His tone was warm but firm, and she remembered many a scolding in the same voice. “I know a message can’t possibly be enough for her, but she’ll at least know we’re all alive. And do you think your mother would _ever_ forgive me if I left you out here alone?” His tone had turned teasing by the end.

“But…”

His hand was warm on her shoulder, and he continued softly, “Katie, it’s _because_ we were captured by the Galra that we want to stay and help in whatever way we can. I don’t want anyone _anywhere_ to have to live the way that we lived for all those years, and if we can do anything to prevent it, we will.”

“We’ve already talked about it, Sis,” Matt dropped his arm around her shoulders when her father stepped back with a smile. “We figured that you guys would try to drop us off somewhere, in some misguided attempt to protect us. But we won’t go. I can’t just leave my baby sister out here to gallivant about the universe without supervision, you know.”

“I am an _adult_ ,” she tried telling him, but he would have none of it. And in the end, that was that. Allura had listened to them and allowed them to have their way, but only after extracting promises that they would follow instructions given by Coran, Shiro, or herself in cases of emergency.

When the offer to send the Holt men back to Earth had been extended and refused, it had already been almost a month since they had all come out of the pods, hale and hearty. A few hours after Allura’s proposal had been shot down, she was able to acknowledge that she wasn’t sure how she would have dealt with the separation if her father and brother had actually decided to go home.

The Holts had a thirst for knowledge that was nearly unquenchable, and the men had already made a place for their own projects in her workshop, even before she’d returned to the castle. She didn’t mind sharing the space with her family. They were respectful of the relative peace and quiet that was necessary in such an environment, and when anyone got loud it was over a success. She was perfectly fine with that—the one that annoyed her was Lance, when he came in to whine and fill the silence with unnecessary chatter while she was trying to work.

And it had become almost normal to have her family around—or as close to normal as it could be, considering that it was a ten thousand year old castle that tripled as a spaceship and a place to house five sentient alien robots. Even though Pidge had settled back into her familiar routine in the month since her return, with late nights and grousing when a battle ousted her from her workshop in the middle of a project, she now had the added bonus of her father and brother fawning over her when the paladins returned. They fussed over her and made sure she was okay and though it was a little suffocating, she let them have it. She’d been without them for too many years to deny them something so simple, even if it was mildly irritating.

And then there was Shiro.

Despite the confirmation of their feelings, though she had yet to verbalize it herself and had been relying on the paladin bond to do that for her, things had remained relatively the same between them. Occasionally, Shiro linked their fingers together, tentatively, and Pidge would squeeze back, warmth building in her chest. And sometimes, when he placed a hand on her shoulder for a squeeze, either pre or post battle, his touch would linger longer than necessary.

Matt was incorrigible, once he’d noticed.

Pidge relished those moments, though. Even if they didn’t necessarily talk about their feelings again, between helping her father and brother adapt—which hadn’t been very difficult at all, considering everything they’d gone through—and fighting the Galra, they both knew the feelings were there. It felt kind of cheap to rely on the bond to communicate those feelings, but it was also the easiest way for her to deal with it under the circumstances. Not everyone fell in love while fighting an intergalactic space battle that would determine the fate of the universe, after all.

And at least she knew, from his lips, that Shiro loved her. Though she had yet to respond using her words, she knew it was the same way she cared for him.

She had no way of knowing exactly how Shiro felt about her lack of a verbal response, though. She hoped that he knew enough to trust the bond, and that Pidge just couldn’t say it yet. And it wasn’t that she didn’t _want_ to tell him—just that each time she considered it, when it was just the two of them and he’d taken her hand and they were just sitting there, relishing each other’s presence, her throat closed up and she could never get the words out. Shiro just smiled softly at her when she trailed off, unable to speak, and squeezed her fingers gently. And Matt usually showed up shortly after, so she probably wouldn’t have had time to get the whole confession out anyway.

There had been no repeat of the night after the healing pod, though.

Pidge had scolded herself multiple times for the wistful, wishful feelings that just remembering that night, and the morning that followed, had brought her. She wanted to wake up like that again, tucked safely up against Shiro’s side and shrouded in warmth. It wasn’t something she had ever expected to want so much and it still made her face warm to think about it, but even more than hugging him or even the fleeting desire of kissing him, she wanted to simply wake up next to him.

Sometimes she wished she was brave enough to ask him, but that was out of the question. _Preposterous_. Her brother hardly left them alone for long enough to hold hands and maybe allow Shiro to press a soft kiss to her forehead or hair before he was joking about them getting a room and giving Shiro the meaningful _but if you actually do go to a room…_ look that Pidge pretended she didn’t see.

Pidge—or Katie, as seemed to be the trend between her father, brother, and Shiro—was a paladin of Voltron, a defender of the universe, praised for her bravery and daring just like all the others, and yet here she was, still afraid of _relationships_.

It was as simple as that. She wouldn’t say it out loud, of course, but she wasn’t going to ignore the truth. It didn’t mean that she loved him any less—rather, she was being more cautious about their budding relationship. And there were a number of reasons for that, spanning from her brother watching them like a hawk to her father’s knowing smiles to the possibility that either she or Shiro may not make it out of the fight for the universe alive. She’d been hurt a lot, from losing her father and brother to being lost in space on her own, _twice_ , and while it was selfish, Pidge didn’t know how she’d handle it if she somehow, inconceivably, lost Shiro. And with all that Shiro had gone through, from being captured to losing a limb to escaping captivity and being incarcerated again by those he trusted and then escaping _again_ , only to be thrust into captaining the giant robot that was to defend the universe, Pidge didn’t even want to think about being the cause of his pain. She didn’t want to think about what would happen if _he_ lost _her._

 _Maybe I’m overthinking it,_ she told herself. But the possibilities were endless, and while she knew what she wanted, she also feared it.

As she glanced up at Shiro, who was discussing something with Matt on the far side of her workshop, Pidge felt her emotions twisting. And yes, she felt the fear, but the warmth and compassion and love was stronger than that.

 _I love him_ , she told herself, and smiled.

She didn’t need to fret about the what ifs, she decided. Pidge loved him, more than she’d loved anyone outside her family in all her life, and she wanted to show him. She didn’t know how she’d work up the courage, or even when, but she was determined to let him know sometime soon.

He’d put his heart on the line and confessed a month ago, so it was about time she returned the favor.

But for now, she’d return to working on her current project. That old Earthen flux capacitor wouldn’t upgrade itself, after all. Not that it had ever been functional for time travel, like those old movies would tell you, but it had other uses. She was sure she could add some Altean upgrades to make it more useful.

* * *

 

She was still working on it when Matt and Sam Holt retired to their rooms at approximately eleven that night, according to Pidge’s clocks. Shiro had disappeared a few hours earlier, after Coran came and started talking to him about something, and after he had left she had been able to _actually_ focus on the task at hand.

As her father neared the door, he turned and said, with the air of a well-practiced phrase, “You should get some sleep soon.”

“Mmm, I just wanna finish upgrading this flux capacitor,” she murmured, her tongue poking out momentarily in concentration as she messed with one of the components. After a few seconds, she looked up at him with a grin and lifted her hand in a wave. “It shouldn’t take too long. Sleep well!”

“Katie,” Matt frowned, hands on his hips and brows tilted in disapproval. “You say the same thing every time.”

She laughed a little, turning back to tweak a wire placement as carefully and quickly as she could, and responded, “Well, sometimes there are snags, and I don’t want to leave some volatile tech lying around. What would happen if _Lance_ got in here before I could finish it? He could blow himself up!”

Matt snorted and her father sighed.

“Just don’t stay up too late,” Sam tried again, and when she looked back to him, he was smiling softly at her. She grinned back.

“Can’t make any promises, Dad, but I swear it’s all in the name of science.”

He just shook his head with a sigh as he exited the room, but she’d noticed that he was still smiling so she knew he wasn’t upset with her. He’d become accustomed to her late habits, and had finally given up on trying to stay up with her. Matt could usually last a bit longer, but he was calling it a night early in favor of sleeping on his current technological issues.

“You need to sleep more, Sis,” Matt chided gently, but he waved to her as he turned to go, and she raised her hand in farewell once again.

“Sleep is for the weak!” she retorted, a teasing lilt in her tone, and added, “Goodnight!”

“Night!” his voice and the combined sound of his footsteps and their father’s footsteps echoed slightly from the hall before the workshop door slid closed with a smooth mechanical _whoosh_. All echoes from the hall ceased then and she turned back to her project once more, rolling her shoulders.

She really _did_ want to finish this project before she went to sleep, and it really _shouldn’t_ take too long. Maybe two more hours to have it functioning the way she wanted, as long as she didn’t run into any unforeseen snags in the process.

Though, as usual, Pidge lost track of time somewhere in the flow of her work.

She only had two or three more wires to connect when she felt a prickling sensation on the back of her neck. It felt almost like she was being watched. As much as she wanted to look up immediately, though, she was in the middle of a delicate task and couldn’t afford to mess it up lest she fry all the important wires in the entire device. So, instead, she carefully finished attaching the wire in her grasp before glancing up.

Pidge didn’t know how she’d missed the sound of the door opening, but leaning against the frame was the only other person she would almost expect to wander around at—what time was it?

 _2:17 AM_ , her clock said. _When did it get so late?_

“Shiro,” she greeted, a welcoming smile coming naturally to her lips. It was a few moments before she realized the bags under his eyes, and noticed that there was a frantic gleam in them. He was slumped against the doorframe, not just leaning like she had originally deduced, and she could tell that he was a little skittish. He looked a little frazzled and panicked, and her throat tightened.

 _Nightmare_? she wondered silently as she pushed herself slowly to her feet.

“What’s wrong?” her voice was soft when she spoke, and she started to make her way towards him with gentle steps. His eyes lifted to meet hers, and she saw relief in them as he pushed himself off of the doorframe and into the room. It seemed to take more effort than it should have.

Whatever it was, it had really put him on edge.

“N-nothing,” he tried, shifting his weight awkwardly. “It was nothing, Pidge. Just a dream….”

So it _had_ been a nightmare. It wasn’t unusual, but this was the first time since she’d been back that she’d seen him so affected by one. Her chest squeezed, painfully, and she reached forward to take his hand in between hers, startling both of them. She hadn’t realized she was so close to him yet. It was also fairly rare that she initiated any sort of contact between them, at least of the romantic nature, but she couldn’t find any reason to regret her actions. She loved him, after all. And Pidge would do anything to take away the almost haunted look in his eyes right now, if it was within her power to do so.

“Come on,” she tugged gently and he followed easily, his palm slightly damp under her touch. She didn’t know what he’d dreamt, but she didn’t envy him for it. “Sit down for a minute and tell me a little about it, okay?”

She’d guided him to a chair and he sat, heavily, while she stood next to him with his hand still clasped between hers. After a moment, she removed one hand and intertwined their fingers, reaching forward with the free hand to run her fingers through his sweat-dampened fringe in what she hoped was a comforting, tender gesture.

“I…” he swallowed thickly, then looked up at her with imploring eyes. “I dreamed that they took you.”

He didn’t try to hide it, not this time. And he didn’t need to elaborate for her to understand who _they_ were and why it had made him so distressed. She stepped closer, standing in front of him, between his knees, and gently pulled her hand from his so she could cup his face between her palms.

“I’m right here,” she told him softly.

“I know...but you were _gone_ , and I couldn’t find you. We destroyed so many ships, so many bases, but we couldn’t find you anywhere. _I_ couldn’t find you. And when I woke up you weren’t there, and you weren’t in your room or in the kitchen, and it felt so real and so much like when we lost you after the rescue, and—”

“Shhh,” she soothed, leaning down to press her forehead to his. "Shiro, I'm right here," Pidge assured him again, voice gentle as her fingers cradled his face. She watched the fearful, worried light fade from his eyes into something softer, something almost tired, and she smiled at him. "See? I didn't disappear on you again. I _won't_ disappear on you again, not if I can help it."

And, before she could think better of it, Pidge pulled her forehead from his and leaned down to press a soft kiss to the scar across the bridge of his nose. She heard him inhale slowly beneath her. His prosthetic hand rested lightly on her waist, and he reached up with his other hand to brush the hair from her eyes. His fingertips ghosted across the contours of her face and she let them, her breath hitching and her heart pounding in her chest.

His features had relaxed, the tension easing from his shoulders and the crease between his brow softening as he pulled his fingers through her hair with a shaky grin. His hand stilled on her cheek, thumb making a feather-light circle on her skin as if to reassure himself, and her, that everything was fine.

"Of course you're here," he murmured, his eyes closed for just a second. "I'm sorry for interrupting you while you were working."

"You're never an interruption," she told him with an unladylike snort, though her words had a lot less bite than usual. She took him in, from the faint crow's feet at the corners of his eyes to the way those same eyes followed her movements. Gods above, he was the most beautiful man alive, and she was lucky to have him.

“You were concentrating,” he protested weakly, “and I interrupted that.”

She shook her head with a light, fluttery chuckle. “I don’t care about that, Shiro. You’re more important than one of my projects, you know.”

How had that been so easy? The words had just tumbled out, as if she’d been meaning to say them all along. And maybe she had—it was the truth, and it would always be true. He mattered far more to her than any technological advancement she could be moving towards.

In addition to being true, her words had had the added bonus of making his breath hitch. Just the idea that she could have that effect on him made her chest squeeze, though not unpleasantly. It struck her yet again that she was tired of living in fear of the _what ifs._

And maybe Shiro was, too.

" _Katie_ ," his voice was barely above a whisper, and with a gentle tug at her waist, where his prosthetic rested, he pulled her closer. He tilted his chin up to look at her, eyes soft and full of that _something_ that made her heart start to race. She couldn’t keep her eyes from flitting to his lips for a split second before meeting his gaze again. And with startling clarity, she understood. Pidge knew what he wanted...and she knew that she wanted it too. She had wanted this for far longer than she cared to admit.

And so she slipped closer to him and leaned down, only slightly, before Shiro straightened and captured her lips with his.

Her eyes fluttered closed and she sank into him, arms draping loosely around his neck. A warmth pooled in her stomach, tender and bubbling and bright, and even though the kiss lasted only a few seconds, the feeling lingered for several moments. They basked in silence, trading another chaste kiss, and then two, before they pulled away. And as she blinked back at the man before her, she felt the heat spreading. It wasn’t just pooled in her stomach now, but permeated her entire being with affection she wasn’t used to feeling. It was... _nice_ , to say the least.

With a tentative smile down at him, feeling a nervousness that wasn't there before settling in her chest, she lightly rested her forehead on his again. Her eyes drifted closed, briefly, as she listened to the sound of his breathing. Shiro’s arms were around her waist, holding her loosely, almost as if she was fragile. In that moment, it felt like she was in a place she could call _home_. She felt warm and safe right where she was, and it finally felt right.

“ _I love you_ ,” she managed, the words coming so much easier than she’d expected. With her eyes still closed she heard Shiro sigh, a slow exhale that somehow summed up the contented feeling inside her. He lifted one of his hands—the real one, though she didn’t mind either way—to gently brush across her cheek again.

“I know,” he echoed her words from a month before, and when her eyes finally fluttered open, she saw a soft, tender smile on his lips.

And maybe it was too soon to say, but somehow it felt like everything would be alright.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally supposed to be longer, but the end came more naturally than the next scene I had in mind. This makes it the second shortest chapter in the entire fic, at just shy of 4K, but I tell myself I'm just keeping it short and sweet.
> 
> Now: Thank you. All of you who have read this, who have been here since the beginning or even those who won't touch it until after this chapter is posted, THANK YOU. The support for this fic has been far greater than anticipated, especially with all of the tumblr negativity towards this ship, and I'm just so happy that you have all graced me with your presence. 
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and the comments along the way. Even if I haven't replied, I have read every single one.
> 
> Endings are the WORST. That said, I hope you enjoyed this one. It's a little heavy on introspection in the beginning, but I hope the second half made up for it. 
> 
> Thanks again, and raise your glass to the end of 2016 (thank heavens it's over), the end of this fic, and drink to the beginning of a new year.
> 
> Happy New Year!

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at [battleshidge](http://battleshidge.tumblr.com/), or on my main at [panda013](http://panda013.tumblr.com/)
> 
> EDIT 7/23/2016 (23/7/2016): due to the recent information about ages, I have now edited the first chapter slightly to reflect the larger age gap between Shiro and Pidge, and that more time has passed than originally planned for this story. 
> 
> NOTE 9/18/2016 (18/9/2016): because a few readers have expressed concern over the use of the age gap, I must clarify that I am not necessarily taking the alleged ages as fact. I made the adjustments to reflect that alleged 11 year age gap to avoid some of the negativity that I was seeing around tumblr, and also because I enjoyed the challenge that writing it would present. Official summaries still say that they are "five teenagers", and I was not saying nor will I say, without solid proof, that either age claim is the correct one.
> 
> Thank you for your concern, and thanks for reading!


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